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I Swear My Brain is on the Verge of Explosion!

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posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 11:53 AM
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I have to post somewhere to keep it from happening -- and at least I know I have some friends here who will care to listen.

My ex totally sabotaged my daughter's private school, so they took away her financial aid and then he won in court with the public school over the charter school I'd found for her. He started working on her head long before it was settled in court, so she would come home telling me she was going to the school by her father's -- even before I had to drop the suit against her private school, because I couldn't get a preliminary injunction until after the school year would be half over, and I didn't want to disrupt her any more than necessary. This divorce has been very hard on her because her father is insisting on involving her five year old mind in our conflict. I don't want to hurt her more by putting her in one school, then winning a case against her old school, putting her there for half a year, then having to move her back to yet another school for next year.

So she's going to one of the public schools in my city, which has one of the worst school districts in my state. All because he wanted to make me upset by screwing up her private school, and because this school is only three blocks from his house.

He's already met her teacher and seen the classroom, and had conferences with the principal and teacher. I only got to meet the principal because I kept bugging her all summer for a meeting, and got in to see her last Thursday.

So this morning, my kid is telling me she's apprehensive and that her stomach feels funny. I'm getting her there OK, no tears so far, just a little trepidation. I found her classroom, and her teacher, who told me that she would show me where the kids are to line up in the morning, and took me there, and that was all she'd say to me as she was busy.

I took my kid out to where she's supposed to line up and her father is there. My daughter, who was nervous, but OK, started screaming and crying as soon as she saw him and ran over to him. He gloated at me, smirking as he held her and said in a saccharine voice, "Thank you for bringing her."

There's a court order in place that we are to meet to exchange the kids at the police station to prevent any problems or friction in front of the kids, which he violated. I was stunned and didn't know what to do, so I ended up asking my daughter who she wanted to stay with her, him or me. She chose him, and as I walked away, I saw her freaking out and crying in his arms as he smiled at me in triumph.

So I still haven't met her teacher really, or seen the classroom, and he's hurt his daughter by coming just to gloat at me, and the court will end up making excuses for him instead of holding him responsible for what he's done. Again.

This crap keeps going on and on and he just won't leave me alone in our children's best interests. I don't want them hurt anymore, but he wont' let up. It's enough to make me want to

What kind of man comes to school against a court order, to bask in his victory over his ex wife, at the expense of his daughter's feelings and well-being? What the hell kind of world lets people like him continually get away with this?

I'm so fried right now, I better stay out of the faith forum. I don't want to take my frustrations out on innocent (relatively speaking) bystanders.




posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 12:02 PM
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MM, I'm here for you.I know your ex is a jerk.Welcome to the club.Do you have any legal recourse because he showed up there? And what kind of an idiot takes his child and molds her mind against her own mother? FFS Major no wonder you are pissed.That man needs a good bitch slap.I'm impartial can I do it for ya???? Fists a flyin' already. Perhaps she will be Ok at her new school.I hope so hon, for the sake of her and you.If you need to vent i'm here.I'm about to embark on the same BS road as you.I'm not looking forward to it.With me though, my ex has never spent more than 2 minutes a day with his kids.And doesn't want to either.He knows I'm the better one. So no worries there. Take care.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 12:11 PM
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Thanks, AD, do you happen to know how to drive a bus?


My ex only wants the kids because it hurts me. He told me he didn't want the baby, but the one I "murdered" in 2004 -- it was genetically defective and not viable. But he still takes the baby every minute he can, because he knows it hurts me.

I wish I knew how to keep him from getting to me like this. But he attacks through the kids, and I don't know how to make myself stop caring that he's hurting them.

Almost enough to make me wish there WERE UFOs so that maybe he could be abducted, probed, and incinerated as not being a viable human being. :shk:



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 12:23 PM
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reply to post by MajorMalfunction
 



In my opinion, from what you've shared, the man is a piece of trash. To involve children is just wrong. Especially at the impreesionable age of five no less. I would NEVER even consider trying to twist my son up emotionally to get back at my wife.
Like AD, I'm here for you. Don't ever forget that.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 12:27 PM
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I haven't Lombozo, I'm grateful for the fact that you ARE there for me.

I'm just so sad for my kid. My attorney said that if we weren't in the middle of a custody evaluation, that we should move for contempt on this, but as it was, he told me to just tell our evaluator and let it go. "Grit my teeth," as he put it.

I hope that the evaluator doesn't make any excuses for this, as people do in the past when he's done things of the sort. He manages to do things just under people's radar of what is wrong to do, and when questioned, he always has an "innocent" answer that people tend to accept rather than look at the truth and the big picture.

I have never been so angry or frustrated in my life. The evaluation still has another month and a half to go, minimum, and when it's over, there's no telling who's going to have custody of the kids, or what the time share will be.

It's hard enough being a parent without an ex who maliciously involves the children in his head games. Why doesn't the court see it? Everybody else does ...



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 12:59 PM
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Your ex sounds like a very bad person. I am sorry for you and your kids. I am glad that you share yourself in this forum. I went through some bad things with my ex and decided to give up the rights to my child. I regret it every since. I think of my sweet little girl everyday and miss her very much. I hope that your situation improves. Just stick it out and keep on going for your children.

On a side note---> I read your post often and really get a kick out of your input. I encourage you to bounce your issues around this forum anytime.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:02 PM
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reply to post by MajorMalfunction
 


Honey I'm just learning to drive a car.But damn if it wouldn't give me some satisfaction to kick that boys ass for ya.Just keep your wits about you,as i know you do, and I hope everything works out for you and your kids.
Just a u2u away....



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:02 PM
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MM...Like Access and Lombozo, I'm here for you too. Strength in numbers!

I wonder if there was a way we could put a hidden camera somewhere or even on your person, to catch this guy's actions!

So the next time he goes against court orders...or foul mouths you in front of your kids, we'll have the proof.

Mabey some kind of hidden microphone.

If the courts see that he's not fufilling his end of parental rights properly, this will be in your favor. Courts will decree which parent is 'better suited' to have custody of kids. If both parents are 'equal' in the eyes of the law, then - duel custody.

This form of trash-mouthing you in front of your kids is concidered abuse, and no child should be subject to it.

People should behave not only in the courts but out of it as well...(I can hear you telling me this: "Pfffft...yeah...try telling that to my ex) From the sounds of things, your ex has a vendetta out on you, and the kids are feeling the brunt of it.

I can honestly say, I've been there and done it. Been to court so many times...I was on a first name basis. This has happened years ago, my ex was brutally murdered back in 2002, and sadly the kids never grew up to know their dad at all.

My mother re-married over 25 years ago, and she loathed her ex, fought like cats and dogs. As much as she hated that A-hole, she never made our minds up about him for us. She never stopped us from having contact with him either.

But anyways, getting back to your ex: Is there someway that we can record this crap from him, that could be used in court? Ask your lawyer about it. Like I said, if the courts will always see the best interests of the kids firstly before anything else.



[edit on 27-8-2007 by TheDuckster]



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:11 PM
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Originally posted by AccessDenied
reply to post by MajorMalfunction
 


Honey I'm just learning to drive a car.But damn if it wouldn't give me some satisfaction to kick that boys ass for ya.Just keep your wits about you,as i know you do, and I hope everything works out for you and your kids.
Just a u2u away....


Accessdenied is another fine example of why I think it is a good idea for you or anybodyelse to bounce your issues around in this forum. I really appreciate what you fine people add to this forum. I know we don't agree all the time hardly but it is nice to have an ear or two to hear your greifs. I thank both of you!

PS. Sometimes it is hard for a man to put his feelings out there. Reading your post often helps me with what I go thru in life without me having to post it! I am sure others in this forum feel the same way. After all it is about people exchanging ideas freely!



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:11 PM
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reply to post by TheDuckster
 


I'm with Ducky on that Idea MM.Anyway to do it? Or would it be inadmissable in court.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:13 PM
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reply to post by ConstantlyWondering
 


Never thought me offering to kick someones ass would get me called a fine example.
But I'm so up for it!!!!



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:36 PM
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CW, thanks for joining in on my pity party. If I didn't have somewhere to vent to people about it, I'd go nuts. One of the many reasons I'm grateful for ATS. And I'm going to "Friend" you now, too, if having the Skeptic Diva on your friends list won't get you picked on.


Ducks, thank you, too for your support. In my state, it's inadmissible in court to record someone without their knowledge. And the way my ex does his stuff is so sneaky that unless you know the history and his true stripe, it's hard to see why it gets to me so bad. He's Machiavellian in his twisted, underhanded actions. I truly don't know how anyone can act this evilly and still live with themselves.

If I lived in a state that wasn't so doggedly insistent on 50/50 custody over the best interest of the child on an individual basis, this would have been over last October when he held trapped me and the kids in my car and wouldn't let us leave until the cops came and arrested him. But, since it was domestic, the DA declined to press charges, and the family court judges seem to have the idea that I am the one causing the problems in an attempt to get sole custody of the kids from my ex. The only reason I want sole custody is because I am the one who tries to do the right thing for them, and who cares about what this divorce is doing to them. It's not like I wouldn't let him visit them, I just wouldn't allow this daily torture of my daughter.

Luckily my son is still too young to understand what's going on. All he knew is that mommy was making funny noises on the drive home (snorting back my tears of frustration and rage) and he was playing along by echoing me.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:47 PM
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I'll support ya as well MM, thanks for the chat we had last night !!


[edit on 27-8-2007 by steve-o]



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:59 PM
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Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
CW, thanks for joining in on my pity party. If I didn't have somewhere to vent to people about it, I'd go nuts. One of the many reasons I'm grateful for ATS. And I'm going to "Friend" you now, too, if having the Skeptic Diva on your friends list won't get you picked on.


Proud to be your friend. I need ATS for the simple fact that I am at work all the time and don't have the luxury of a life! But all me friends on ATS help me whether they know it or not. And if you just choose friends that agree with you all the time how do you grow? Thank you Major, I am honored to be your friend.....



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 02:01 PM
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Originally posted by AccessDenied
reply to post by ConstantlyWondering
 


Never thought me offering to kick someones ass would get me called a fine example.
But I'm so up for it!!!!


That's the best friend you can have! Major needs somebody to go kick that ex's butt between his shoulders! GO GET'EM ACCESSDENIED!



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 02:21 PM
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I'm so not kidding.Check my post in this thread.No word of a lie.
www.belowtopsecret.com...
However,I believe there is a distance problem,and the fact of being charged with assault in another country.Ohhh not good.But I'm road tripping next summer MM.......We'll just see.( you know I'm just kidding)


[edit on 27-8-2007 by AccessDenied]



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 02:46 PM
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Are you kidding, AD? Are you reeeeeally?

Thanks for adding in some support, steve-o. These sorts of things make for lonely lives. If it wasn't for the internet, I'd have hardly any friends at all. My real life ones get the phone calls of hysterical crying, and you can only bug them so often with those.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 02:52 PM
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reply to post by MajorMalfunction
 


MM , let's just say he wouldn't want to meet me alone in a dark alley.enough said.As for friends on the internet,that's all I got and I like it that way.Too many dang sheep in my neck of the woods.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 03:20 PM
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Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Thanks, AD, do you happen to know how to drive a bus?


My ex only wants the kids because it hurts me. He told me he didn't want the baby, but the one I "murdered" in 2004 -- it was genetically defective and not viable. But he still takes the baby every minute he can, because he knows it hurts me.

I wish I knew how to keep him from getting to me like this. But he attacks through the kids, and I don't know how to make myself stop caring that he's hurting them.

Almost enough to make me wish there WERE UFOs so that maybe he could be abducted, probed, and incinerated as not being a viable human being. :shk:


A bus nope not here lol. But really MM I saw your story and you didn't murder anyone. I respect the decsion you made what else could you have done?

I can call my brother and see if he can recommend a job from the place he works from. He has to travel aroud some- that will keep your ex busy.

I'm sorry to say anyone who fights through their kids as you mentioned is a coward.

Don't ever stop caring about your kids. I wish I had the means to help you legally but I don't so right now my hands are tied. All I can say is don't give up yet keep fighting.



posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 03:28 PM
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Thanks, Leyla. *hug*

My ex wouldn't take a job I suggested even if it would make him rich. It would be coming from me. This is one of those, I call the sky blue and he says it's pink situations.

I talked to my counselor, who happened to be in the building a little bit ago, and she helped me steady this off a bit.

I'm just trying to get my head around how my walking off and leaving my daughter on my time, when she is hysterically crying, is actually in her best interests considering the alternative -- a big scene and fight about his refusing to leave and making me look like the problem with school staff, and my daughter having to see her dad and I at each other's throats again.

The biggest problem the court has with this, I think, is that I have learned to stand up for myself from him -- I still get freaked out by him, but I put my boundaries in place now. The court sees that as "it takes two to tango." Which is their way of turning their backs on the situation and not resolving it rather than have to make a decision about what is going on and do something about it.

When I left the kids' father, I read a lot on this situation I'm still in. One of the things all the literature mentioned is that abusive men like him will find a way to continue the abuse even after the wife leaves the marriage, through the kids and with the help of family court.

You know what? I'm sort of sick of being the human cliche.



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