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Beat this Joke

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posted on Aug, 24 2007 @ 06:06 PM
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Farmer Giles ordered a high-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did. When the fun was over, though, he quickly realized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'.
He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself. He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.
Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his cell phone (Thank god for cell phones!).
"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."
Have a nice day.....




posted on Aug, 27 2007 @ 01:56 PM
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*Pow, punch, kick, smack, pop, bip, bap, bop, boom!

There, your joke has been adequately beaten .



posted on Aug, 28 2007 @ 07:58 AM
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Into a Dublin pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?"asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," saysPaddy.
"That little squirt, O'Conner?" says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy.
"Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."



posted on Aug, 29 2007 @ 12:02 AM
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Wanna hear a joke?....Women's rights!



(Horrible, I know.)



posted on Aug, 29 2007 @ 12:32 AM
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LOL Plato986. Not many women would like that :bash:

So who is judging these jokes budksi?



posted on Aug, 29 2007 @ 01:58 AM
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Two nuns in a bath........ Playing charades.......

First nun: [makes the gesture for film] ...... [holds up two figures] ...... [looks down] ...... [and menstruates].

Second nun: [looks down].... [looks up] ..... and says: "Crimson Tide"




posted on Aug, 29 2007 @ 02:39 AM
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Originally posted by Now_Then

Second nun: [looks down].... [looks up] ..... and says: "Crimson Tide"



AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Ok now you have put me off nuns


hehehehe



posted on Aug, 29 2007 @ 08:02 AM
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reply to post by Now_Then
 


Uhhhh...

errrrrrr...



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