I'll take the city of Seattle, in it's entirety as my base of operations.
The cloud cover will do nicely to hide my various evildoings from the prying eyes of Google Earth.
I shall issue forth my demands and subliminal propaganda from the Space Needle, and I shall reside in an inferior "low rent apartment" to avoid
My minons shall be the coffeehouse baristas, the clerks who sell "vintage clothing" at double (or triple!) the cost of the original items value and
the all night convienence store clerks shall keep track of my minions.
The riot police shall be my brute squad, and we shall enjoy flagrant displays of our battle armor against unwitting hippie protestors.
We shall convene every solstice at the Fremont Troll, to whom we shall offer various bribes and tributes, and the rest of the year we shall party and
mingle at various hotspots and nightclubs and simply "outcool" the rest of the world.
Once we have levied our "coolness factor" on the rest of the populace and verbally belittled All Who Dare Oppose us, we shall move to small towns
across the nation with out arsenal of wit, bizzare counter culture art and fashion statements and wreck havoc with our trust funds on the small town
Then, and only then, will I quit paying $2000 a month for a run down studio apartment infested with evil domestic cockroaches and launch into a
bizzare spectacle of home ownership that would put even the most flagrant yuppie scum to shame.
Yes - that's right - not two SUV's, but THREE! And if it makes noise in the pristine wilderness and pollutes the air (i.e. Seadoos and ATV's) I
shall have several.
My main housing complex will be stocked with everything I can possibly require from L.L. Bean so I do not have to leave my house, and my Doomsday
Device will be made strictly from the offerings of the IKEA catalog.
I shall become an Amway distributor just to further infuriate my enemies.
Yuppie scum beware! I have watched your movements for decades, and I know the secret behind your prestige.
Prepare to be trumped!
*laughs manically and putters off on her secondhand vespa scooter with the radical bumper sticker on the rear fender*