Men Strike Back

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

*raises eyebrow*
*taps foot*

Now I remember why I'm still single.




What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.

Men are like blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

-B.

good ones guys


im pretty sure this will develop into an all our gender war.


*goes and gets helmet*

I wanna ad one!

Q:Why don't women ski?
A:There's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom!

*don't kill me Banshee*

Originally posted by NotTooHappy
Q:Why don't women ski?
A:There's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom!
*don't kill me Banshee*

Ah hell.
I can't kill you.
Not when one of my favorite jokes is:

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?


....

Nothin' ... the bitch already done been told twice!

-B.

Originally posted by Banshee

Ah hell.
I can't kill you.
Not when one of my favorite jokes is:

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?


....

Nothin' ... the bitch already done been told twice!

-B.

That's an oldie but a goodie.