I need to say this somewhere......

Ok, I apologize if you guys feel this is on the wrong board, but it's something i wish i had said, and didn't and should of. If this needs to be moved, then move it.

I just got out of a long term relationship with a man I am in love with. He and I have been discussing being close friends, but he doesn't think I can do that, because I'm still in love with him.

He's wrong.

The love I feel, is true love. The kind where I'd lay my life down for his, and if it were needed walk away forever for his happiness. It has become a self-less love. It's not that I don't want him.... I do. I'd be the happiest person, if he were to want to get back together. However, his happiness to me is everything, so if he were to say that and not be happy, us being together would be pointless. I'm at a point that if he wanted to date another girl, or we never see each other, I'd be ok with that. He could tell me things about the relationship, ask me questions bout it, and get uncensored responses back. As long as he is happy, then I will be too. No matter what definition we put on our relationship, my desire is his happiness.

How hard is that to understand?

You're just finding an excuse to get back with him. Become friends when you have a significant amount of time apart, which at your present vulnerable state may seem impossible.

Not really, I've spent quite a bit of time away( a few months on and off). My feelings haven't changed... I don't think anything can change them. My being close friends wasn't even my original idea... it is his.

I can be close friends, it's not hard at all. I don't know why every once in a while he comes up with the idea that i cant.

jessica i know how you feel

i got out of a long term relationship about 7 months ago. when i first broke up with her i told her we should remain friends and she agreed. but things changed, she met another guy, stopped returning calls and messages so i just gave up on it. i dont think you're trying to find an excuse to get back with him like lemarchand said but i do agree with him when he said you need a significant amount of time apart.

i still plan on getting in touch with my ex and trying to re create some sort of friendship.. we were so close i think it's possible for 2 people to still be close even after they dated for several years

so yea, give it some (more?) time, if he still feels the same way then he just doesn't want to be your friend.. which you cant really blame him for.. it's tough

cheers

I think its great that you are able to put yourself aside and think 'his happiness will make me happy'. I think you should remain friends, but tell him that whatever he decides, if it makes him happy, you'll be fine with.