Really don't know where to put this but was wondering about why I felt evil

About 2 years ago I had a panic attack from smoking cannabis well after that I felt very bad, couldn't go outside because I was very dissociated and scared. I felt like there was an evil spirit in me anyways it's a long story.

I was wondering if anyone knew anything about satanic stuff? Because me and my cousin did some stupid stuff, we drew a pentagram on a piece of paper and put our blood on the paper and then we burned it.

Could this have something to do with my initial feeling of evil and how can I reverse it??

Well, when I first read Crowley I became heavily influenced by it and began to feel as you do. I recommend that you pray to God for forgiveness. He is a just God and will forgive you. Also, you may be struggling with depression and/or anxiety as I was and you might just not know it yet. Fortunately, these are the most common mental conditions and there are a lot of treatment options. Do yourself a favor and speak to a professional.

Perhaps your fears & worries about this increased after smoking pot due to the paranoid effects, making you feel more guilt about it, it's all ok, you are not evil. But, if you are still suffering depression or anxiety about it please go talk to a dr. or counselor about it.

After the first line, I smoked some weed and felt funny
Please dont smoke any more weed. Thats your problem, stop with the refer and try to clean your mind. This should be in the help section BTS.
Good luck with that BTW, some people can smoke weed and feel fine, others get freaked out and just simply isnt good for them.
All our bodies have different chemistry, and maybe you should see a doctor. Try an NA meeting, try it out for 30 days.

I don't smoke or do any drugs any more. I do suffer from depression and anxiety and also derealization (feeling like im in a dream ).

I suffered from depression and anxiety before I smoked cannabis but I guess it just made me worst gave me panic attacks and some other disorders.

I'm not into satanic stuff, I just want to know if I'm cursed or something, I will pray for forgiveness.

Originally posted by unconscious_war

I was wondering if anyone knew anything about satanic stuff? Because me and my cousin did some stupid stuff, we drew a pentagram on a piece of paper and put our blood on the paper and then we burned it.

That's not Satanic.. in fact that's really not much of anything. The only thing it might do is attract a goth girlfriend (or boyfriend as the case my be).

Could this have something to do with my initial feeling of evil and how can I reverse it??

Odds are you just gave yourself a case of the creeps.

I'm glad it's not satanic but what do you mean the creeps? What i felt was very real, it was a powerful feeling. Scary to think about

How sure are you that it wasn't satanic? I'm just wondering cause I want to be sure

[edit on 27-7-2007 by unconscious_war]

IMO the occult is nothing to mess with, i was way into it for 5 years and then got to deep, everything left me, the spirits and gods stopped speaking with me i lost all the power that i had and became very ill. There was only one supernatural force that i called out to that helped me at all, and that was Jesus. I know it sounds corny but its the truth. It almost killed me, I couldn't eat, i couldn't sleep, nothing I was bed ridden for over a month, and nearly starved to death. I lost 20 pounds in that month, and before that i was under weight, before the incident i was 120 lbs and I'm 5'9. The only thing that would help me stop the constant panic attacks and the fear, and hallucinations was reading the Bible, and i read it constantly. After i got better my brother and his girlfriend told me that the whole time i was sick, they heard things running around in the house right infront of them when no one was there, and alot of other weird stuff. So yeah i agree with the above poster, you need to ask God for forgiveness, but not just that, if you want to be protected from, these evil forces you need a relationship with God. I'm not saying that if you don't believe in God that Evil Spirits are going to attack you, in fact quite the opposite, the seem to leave people who don't believe in god alone, because by doing so those people think they do not exist. But if you have been attacked by an evil spirit, which i'm not saying you were, because i'm just another guy like you, and i really don't know, then you should get a relationship with god, read the bible. But do not be afraid of these demons, your fear will give them window to harm you, Be Assertive and brave, and trust in God, and check out Luke 10:17-20 in the Bible. And remember everything happens for a reason, even if you have no idea why it happened, there is a plan for everything. And check out those Bible verses, i think they'll help you with this alot, if you think your being demonically attacked. And i'll keep you in my prayers.

Originally posted by unconscious_war

I'm glad it's not satanic but what do you mean the creeps? What i felt was very real, it was a powerful feeling. Scary to think about

You scared yourself. being scared is a powerful feeling.

How sure are you that it wasn't satanic? I'm just wondering cause I want to be sure

1000% sure. Look at it this way..

I'm an occultist, if I put a cross around my neck it doesn't mean I'm a Christian. If I say the Lords prayer it does not mean that was a Christian act. When my Grandmother died I went to her mass.. that does not make me a Catholic.

In any case what you did does not fit any Satanic ritual, it sounds like something from a bad horror movie.

If you want to get technical, magically speaking, by burning the pentagram you destroyed the "spell" anyway.

If you still feel you have some emotional problems or weird thoughts, talk to your doctor.

[edit on 7/27/2007 by Cug]

Originally posted by unconscious_war
I don't smoke or do any drugs any more. I do suffer from depression and anxiety and also derealization (feeling like im in a dream ).

I suffered from depression and anxiety before I smoked cannabis but I guess it just made me worst gave me panic attacks and some other disorders.

Not to scare you.....But, I have heard that smoking weed can "open" yourself up. This may have left you suseptable to negative forces. I believe what you are feeling is real. You may want to seek advice of a preist as well. They may just have to bless you with some holy water. I would just look for the positive in all things, this may help defeat what dwells within.

dude you are quite fine...seriously.
If anything, people are possessed by the 'ego', and dont realize it.
(If they did realize this, then they wouldnt really be possessed.)

So for the most part, the whole world is possessed with the mind that they identify with...and its thoughts, etc. They have no clue that the thinker is not who they are.
"I think therefore I am," is a statement full of error - and of course, created by the ego itself.

Everything in life, perspectives on life/lifes issues, are mere stories.
We choose (well most of us do not, as we are not 'conscious to make a choice as the 'ego' runs our lives along with emotion), but we do have a choice of what story we want.

emotions feed thought, thought feeds emotions, and thus you stay in a spiraling circle.
Eckhart Tolle (recommend audio book to get full gist and context) New Earth, goes a long way to explaining this stuff - far more eloquently than me. (1st chapter might start off slow for some, but then its jammed packed from there - dealing with paranoid belief systems, and basically laying out how we are all in the same ditch and this whole 'being superior' is also a lie, and that truly we have within ourselves the power in order to maintain peace in our life.)

So I wouldnt worry about opening up anything, check out the above referenced material...

Peace

Dalen

I wouldn't say that the cannabis itself is directly related to what you're feeling, it is more than likely a culmination of other issues, which may be depression

Originally posted by saintnuke
If I am being bad, please tell me. I am new to this and would wish not to get banned while still giving my opinion.

Hey Saint,
Please no bashing, play nice, just a piece of advise from a "geezer" who's been here a long time.
It will NOT be accepted.


The subject, listen to the civil advise you receive, and what appeals to your heart.

WIS

First I would like to say that I appreciate all of your replies, there seem to be some very knowledgeable people on these forums.


You sound very immature, Where exactly did I say that I cut myself? If you were referring to the part about putting blood on the paper with the pentagram, it was a simple needle poke with a drop of blood as a result. I wasn't attempting any specific spell, I just did it out of nowhere, I had no intentions of harming anyone. I just thought that by burning each others blood would some how cast out all the curses that we put upon each other. I have no knowledge on satanic stuff.

Thank you for all of the replies, didn't think I would get so many


Mod Edit: Removed quoted text.

[edit on 29-7-2007 by chissler]

Noted. I really did bash alot of beliefs in that post. Sorry.

Sorry. I re-read what I posted and found it to be offensive to pretty much anyone. I know a few people that are into cutting themselves, and they only respond to me telling them that what they do is stupid. Not that it stops them or anything, they just feel stupid when they do it now. I misplaced my insults to them upon you. I apologize.

But to answer your question as to why you felt a feeling of evil...well...in a largly christian society, anything with a pentegram is considered evil. It is common knowlege that people were once burnt on a stake for doing what you did, and by knowing that, you felt evil. Doesn't mean you are evil, unless ofcourse you are a murderer, rapist, child mollestor, or like to torture living things.

[edit on 27-7-2007 by saintnuke]

Originally posted by saintnuke
Sorry. I re-read what I posted and found it to be offensive to pretty much anyone. I know a few people that are into cutting themselves, and they only respond to me telling them that what they do is stupid. Not that it stops them or anything, they just feel stupid when they do it now. I misplaced my insults to them upon you. I apologize.

While we're at it, "telling them theyre stupid" is like throwing oil on a fire, thinking that it'll extinguish it because its liquid. A different approach, with a singe of sincerity might be beneficial for them.

While we're at it, "telling them theyre stupid" is like throwing oil on a fire, thinking that it'll extinguish it because its liquid. A different approach, with a singe of sincerity might be beneficial for them.

True, but also telling them to end their life with a deeper cut, just might whack a little sense into them.

Not a good plan, tempt someone that already has little regard for their life to push them closer to a fatal wound. Wouldn't be my first plan of attack for someone I'd call a friend..

On the other hand your reply for acknowledging your tone is cause for a few claps.

To the OP, just curious, what came into your mind that made you think that you would be dispelling the curses that you had placed on each other, and had you attempted to place curses on each other earlier? Had you dabbled in anything else that could be considered occult-ish prior to the blood and burning?

Also, some people, odd as it may be, find relief to stress or anger from cutting themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm not endorsing it, just know that some people find a release from physical pain.. Different strokes for different folks.....

*edited for easier reading*

[edit on 27-7-2007 by HaTaX]