Keeping An Eye Open...

I just wanted to share this with you all.

I have a 15 yr old daughter. She really is a good kid. Grades are okay, never been in trouble at school, doesn't give her mom or anyone problems. Seems to be a happy, boy crazy 15 year old girl.

She lives 5 hours away from me with her mom, so I only get to see her a few times a year.

A couple of weeks ago, she came up for the summer visit we always have. She used to stay for 2 weeks, but this year I could only get one week out of her and expect that to go down as she gets older.

Anyway, while here she asked if she could go check her email. I asked her what email address she was checking, I knew that she had a yahoo email, but she said on her myspace. I didn't know she had a myspace.

I immediately asked her how long she's had it, as it turns out only about a month or so. She said that her mom is aware of it and ok'd it. She also said that about every couple of days or so, her mom logs in and checks it out.

I told my current wife about the myspace and she seemed a little more upset about it that I was. She thoguht that it might be a good idea if we checked it out too. So I asked my daughter to log in and let me see it.

She didn't hesitate and pulled it right up. I was actually impressed with her site, the layout and colors. Kind of cool.

So I start looking around, she has a few friends on there and they are all from her hometown and she goes to school with them. We started reading some of the comments that were left and they all were girlish related and innocent.

However my wife stumbled up on something under the blog section. It was one post, that my daughter claims that she had cut and paste, because her friends did it.

It was an article or story if you will about having friends with benefits.

I was a little shocked so I asked her if she knew what it meant. At first she said no, and then said isn't it like a boyfriend that you kiss?

I asked her if her mom had talked to her about sex, and it turned out that she has ( boy I really didn't want to have that one, but would have ). My wife and I explained a little about friends with benefits and feel comfortable that we got the message across and that she really didn't know what it was all about.

I then went on to talk to her about the dangers of being online and posting personal info. I think she got it. I called her mom the next day and we discussed it again and she had a talk with my daughter when she got home.

So, after all that, I still have a pretty good kid, this is just one thing that came up and I'm glad that I was doing my job as a parent and keeping an eye on her.

Please watch out for your children, they really are special and need our guidance and help in growing up.

I have four daughters, the oldest is 10, the twins 6 and the youngest 2. I dread the next 16 years.
The kids already no more about computers than i do.
Do you think it's awful of me to even think adout locking them in the shed until they turn 21?

:shk:

She probably more than likely knew what it meant and just played dumb because she didn't want you to think bad of her. If you go to school you know just about every sexual slang.

Originally posted by mnmcandiez
She probably more than likely knew what it meant and just played dumb because she didn't want you to think bad of her. If you go to school you know just about every sexual slang.

maybe, but for now I give her the benefit of the doubt and I know that her mom has given her the talk.

I know that every parent likes to think that thier child is golden, but I do know one thing. My daughter respects me and her mom. Also when I was a kid, I was affraid of my parents, I knew better than to get into trouble, I knew right from wrong and wouldn't do it.

I actually talk to my kid, she knows what I expect from her and what she can and cannot get away with.

I'm confident that she'll be fine.

I can't protect her from everything, but I can arm her with the knowledge of what is right and wrong and expected from her.

I have to say Elevatedone that I think you sound like a cool Dad!!! You haven't gone overboard, you haven't taken away the PC, you took the time to sit down with your family and try and talk through an issue and come to an understanding with your daughter. Keep up the good work and you should have a healthy relationship with your daughter for a long time. *stands up and salutes Elevatedone!!!*

[edit on 27-7-2007 by Kurokage]

thanks kurokage, that was really nice to say and nice to hear.

I think it's okay for her to realize to that you'll be checking up on her myspace from time to time
I'm an official "Secret Myspace Spy Mom" That's how I came to have a Myspace account. It was the only way I could weasel into read their stuff, and There was some shocking naughty notes from girls to my son in his comment space! I told him to clean it up, and asked him how he would feel if his Grandma read that.
That took care of that problem, and I told his big sister to write the little tarts a message about their filthy mouths, and a possible phone call to their parents. As a result, there is one little girl (local of course) that can't even look me in the face when she runs into me in the store

Did I go over board? Do I care? No, I don't think so either way. I don't need little girls say such graphic things to my son on such a public forum!

shameless bump....

I bring this up again becuase, someone close to the family has a teenage daughter who seems to be a little lost.

We've found out there has been some drinking / smoking, etc.
hanging out with the wrong crowd type of stuff. There is more, but I can't go into it.

This girl and her mom don't have money and they need some help.

I live in Ohio, don't have the faintest idea of where to start looking for someone for them to talk to.

I know you fine members here can help me out.

Thanks.

Elevatedone..If I can be of help..just a u2u away...
When I was a teen I did all that..not so long ago either...and I have a 17 year old Daughter whom I have raised to steer clear of such things.
Just let me know what I can do...I speak from experience of both kinds.
AD

i have a little sister, 12, and i fear for the day when she will start getting online.. i can't imagine how my parents feel

it was different when i was growing up.. internet wasn't a house hold thing and when families did have it it was rarely used because it was slow and took up your phone line

also, kids are being taught how to use computers at much earlier ages now.. my sister has been playing games on the family PC since she was like 6 so she knows how to use a computer pretty well.. i didn't at her age

basically, its scary.. kids are exposed to way more these days, most of them bad and especially on the internet. even the advertisements on a site that is pretty clean or a pop-up add advertising things children just have no business seeing.

i haven't been around for a LONG time but i've been around long enough to know that times are changing and its crazy how fast it happens

[edit on 2-10-2007 by The Phantom]

Are you sure you went far enough?

Wife take daughter to the doctors for a script for BC?

If not, you might look into it.

The news story about the 13 year old girl who killed herself made me think about my daughter today, and then I remembered this thread, so I wanted to bump it.

Please, please watch your children, be involved in every part of their lives.



[edit on 19-11-2007 by elevatedone]

Definitely. I think this is a very important thread for sure.

I am raising my first child right now (she's almost 14 months old) and part of me dreads having to worry about things like this. Although I am confident that I will be able to raise her right and that she will be fine, it still worries me. I guess it wouldn't be normal if it didn't worry all parents though.

It's our jobs to protect our children no matter what. From the first time I saw my daughter, I knew right then I'd throw myself in front of a bus to keep her from harm, and that will never change.

Excellent thread!

Me again...

Lots of new members, thought this might be some "help" to some of them who have children and going through the "growing pains".

BTW.

My girl is almost 17 now, still doing well.

I'm so proud of her.