posted on Sep, 21 2007 @ 04:43 PM
I like your opening line, it's simple but very effective, got a ring to it and sounds good to say. 'under footsteps light' - nice work with words
there, and the way that some of the lines can be read to run into one another is a nice touch.
Subject matter gives this poem quite a hard bite and the structure breaks this down adding a softening touch. The closing imagery is great:
'Hatchet in hand
Death in my eyes
Watching him bleed
In the moonlight.'
For me theres an air of tranquility captured in this picture, maybe not the kind of tranquility suited to a postcard or anything
but it leaves a