 |
|
Topic started on 5-7-2007 @ 06:16 PM by ExquisitExamplE
|
The big inning of the end.
when all illusion comes to a head
when all confusion is left for dead
in my stead i leave a shattered man carcass
where all roads lead i walk the farthest
i felt like a broken man chained to a table
where did i go what happened to my fable
scrape with a razorblade maniac example
jump up to jump down and trample madness
spit sadness into the sky highlight the science
every time i cry defiant noncompliance
arise against the tyrants lies and bile
high profile zodiac rapper clapping hands badly
i felt like a tectonic plate shifting
upliftings souls and spirits
listen can you hear the spherical miracle
im a cleric sent to heal the active masses
fractal sabbatical vacate the nation
placate sensationalist journalist vermin
im yearning for the turning of crops to stop the robbery
drop the conquest and start seeking equality
meet the shoddy doctrine head on collossus collision
leviathan lazarus zombie man spasm amplitude
bad aptitude tested in order to make a better investment
my chessmen do as i tell them i dont dwell on it
i sell myself short reportedly
im not a normal bee
i buzz myself fuzzy destructive
i rupture honeycomb in my home hive
my bones thrive on dissident pissieness
my political approach is minimalist
i dont vote because theres no hope in it
so lets just mope and bitch pitiful
if i could vivisect my own reflection
each impression left would be hesitant at best
penantant priest reaps his seeds feebly
fall to your knees easily in the new spring season
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 18-7-2007 @ 04:23 AM by Averysmallfoxx
|
the mighty unsetelex flexes his power of articulation and creativity at last. you know i had an ongoing bet with my self (dont laugh [mod edit]) that
you would do something to this end. I wondered how long it would be before i found you on some web site flexing your quite adept muscles in the
proverbial sense. since we both know where your strength lies friend.
you know, you should reveiw some of my posts on the caret forums and the 9/11 ones aswell, id like a familiar face to consider my thoughts and
critique accordingly
``````````````````
Edited out questionable word
[edit on 18/7/07 by masqua]
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 18-7-2007 @ 06:37 AM by masqua
|
Very creative, ExquisitExamplE
In particular, I enjoyed the cohesiveness of word choices;
spherical miracle
defiant noncompliance
dissident pissieness
vivisect my own reflection
That type of word-play doesn't just walk and stroll, it rocks and rolls...

|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 18-7-2007 @ 06:42 AM by NJE777
|
Originally posted by masqua
Very creative, ExquisitExamplE
... it rocks and rolls...

I agree. I read it and *sighed cos I just don't have the time to write but certainly liked what you wrote. My poems suck... I think I won a coffee
on ATS for my poems
lol great stuff!
I really liked this bit:
 i sell myself short reportedly
im not a normal bee
i buzz myself fuzzy destructive
i rupture honeycomb in my home hive 
Not sure why, but just felt a pang of grief... your creativity definitely hit a nerve with me. Writing is such a great outlet and when I read it,
felt really *urgh cos all work, no time and I really think, for me I need to be uninterrupted to be able to write creatively. It isn't something you
can put down and then pick up. Maybe thats just me, but thanks for sharing your literary skills.
[edit on 18-7-2007 by NJE777]
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 18-7-2007 @ 01:09 PM by ExquisitExamplE
|
Many thanks my friends, your positive energies energize my science.
May peace and light be unto you my brethren.
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 19-7-2007 @ 06:09 AM by Averysmallfoxx
|
so yes i was testing the waters dear friend, you are still my favorite girl dog though
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 19-7-2007 @ 06:32 AM by masqua
|
Staying on topic is a requirement here in the Short Stories forum since this is not a BTS 3-word thread.
Are you going to post any more tests like the above?
Please concentrate on expressing an opinion and leave the tresting for the lab.
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 19-7-2007 @ 12:43 PM by ExquisitExamplE
|
my thesis has a thousand different pieces of our species
locked within the cataclysmic mission and signing contracts for higher soul position
my physician my friend my self my wealth is greater than the state i want to reach
i teach myself the language of tangled conscience constance
all of of my fragments draw closer together to sever the vector electric
desperate men have no choices but listen to the voices poignant
anointed creatures see lights in the skies climate, alight defiant science
not so reliant on the tyrants treasures i don't revel in hateful pleasures
my triangle is spangled with angels from the heavens
i drive the seventh level particle generator
i commemorate my essence in an incandescent reference
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 28-7-2007 @ 03:09 PM by Averysmallfoxx
|
If i was a very small fox, id dig a hole from which id hide from the world. Id come out at night and only then just to scrounge food, because this
world scares me.
If i was a very small fox, id quietly contemplate the things i heard, from my little hole, id wonder but never wander.
If i was a very small fox, id shy away from the sounds of my brethren, for i am small, for i am careful.
If i was a very small fox, id take caution among people, because i know our kind to be cruel and irrational beings, even to a very small fox.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i thought if anyone would appreciate that, it would be you most of all primo.
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 3-8-2007 @ 02:41 AM by ExquisitExamplE
|
i sit on this hilltop watching a faded array of complacent ancients
i blanket statement destiny for the massive passion sentiment
to my detriment only, noah's apparition is real but mine is phony
blow me down or suck it up corrupted
i fluctuate just to watch facades rupture
puncuate statement
.
i lie among them, holding my breath and wings
stand with a planned manifesto famine
the lamentations of man seen in the sands of time
seen through this looking glass of mine
eyes watch careful
scarcity
scar city
pitiful recipient implicate
predicate prediction
replicate religion
inveterate system
decimate millions
exclamate
!
dante knew
dante knew
Edit: My name is noah.
[edit on 8/3/2007 by ExquisitExamplE]
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 3-8-2007 @ 04:14 AM by mojo4sale
|
Originally posted by ExquisitExamplE
i sit on this hilltop watching a faded array of complacent ancients
i blanket statement destiny for the massive passion sentiment
to my detriment only, noah's apparition is real but mine is phony
blow me down or suck it up corrupted
i fluctuate just to watch facades rupture
puncuate statement 
Nice.  may i add.
and from the craft, the ancients step,
one to the right and one to the left.
on that world they watch them build,
then they leave a hegemonic guild.
what did they build,
a dam
eve n
though the waters do not flow.
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 5-8-2007 @ 08:45 AM by ExquisitExamplE
|
Originally posted by mojo4sale
and from the craft, the ancients step,
one to the right and one to the left.
on that world they watch them build,
then they leave a hegemonic guild.
what did they build,
a dam
eve n
though the waters do not flow.

Well done friend, I really like your play on adam and eve juxtaposed against water, the fluid of life.
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |
reply posted on 6-6-2008 @ 11:18 AM by depth om
|
reply to post by ExquisitExamplE
I liked that! Got some Kool Keith (doc octagon) type flows.
|
reply to this post:
copyright & usage
|
 |