Funny Spam.....

I get a load of spam in my inbox every day. It's incredible how much garbage I get for absolutly everything out there. Aparently I am a overweight, impotent, broke, balding, hermaphrodite.

This one though I thought was just too much. Let me share.

From DOX wrote:

This is Park Puzzo The HEAD OF DOX AGENT NETWORK. I
wish to let you know
that i have been paid by a client to assasinate you
at convenience,and i have signed a contract for this
yesterday. I have never met you before,but they gave
me the full description of your identity and
contact, which my boys have used to trace you.

The reason why they want you Dead is not disclosed
to me as i was not
allowed to know,but you are now not better that the
dead ok.

That is funny. So I wrote back and asked what the $%^&! and a bunch of other off color stuff I won't repeat here. So I got the same exact thing back.

So aparently someone put a "hit" out on old What U KNO

Least they could tell me why they want me dead! I mean shesh there are so many valid reasons for wanting me dead but at least tell me which one they chose!

I posted this in the jokes forrum cause it obviously has to be a prank. I mean cmon I know im an idiot and hated by some people but I am not the kind of person anyone would realy want dead!

Am i just overly sensitive or is that an incredibly creepy bit of spam? Glad you have the fortitude to just laugh it off. I'd report it. It IS a death threat after all. I will be seriously looking for your posts in the next few weeks. Don't go on vacation and quit posting, dude, or we'll have to put out an APB.

BTW, since they signed a contract, if they commit a material breech of contract by failing to assasinate you, can the client who hired them sue them in a court of law for breech of contract?
client: Your honor, I paid DOX a substantial fee to whack whatukno (see article 4 of the contract DOX signed entitled exhibit A) and whatukno is still alive and well and posting on ATS. I want a full refund!
DOX: Your honor, we have a strict "no deposit, no return" policy. *chuckles to self*. Sorry, your honor, a little hitman humor there.
Judge: Stop it, both of you! Damnit Dox! As a fellow Mason, I'm bound by the brother's oath to not sentence a fellow Mason so you slide on this one but will you quit sending notices of intent to your intended victims? *sighs* (Dox hangs head and nods imperceptibly) Now, Mr. Client, as a a consolation prize for playing in todays round of "How much justice can you afford" I'm awarding you 2 tickets to the circus and free medical care to any hospital of your choice should you decide to take up matters with Mr. DOX out in the parking lot. Case closed.

What you know, what you done?

Gone and upsett some fickle one!

He's called one in: to do a job.

Pull the trigger that'll shut your gob.

Crazy spammer wiv a hammer.

Watch ya back for a spam attack.

Just letting everyone know, that yes I am still alive and so far no one has come to do me in (yet)

I couldnt possibly take this threat seriously. I mean I know I have all my information out on the internet here and there. It's not hard to find old What U KNO, but seriously to threaten to kill me? Thats just silly

But im arround, I am just moving to michigan right at the moment so I am not going to be checking in as often as I usualy do.

No need to panic anyone

What?! You're not dead yet?! I mean...

That's some interesting spam...yeah. I think it's just someone being bored and sending random emails to random people, if not just mass mailing to a random assortment of addresses.

That is funny....








That hitman is SO fired!

Ok here's some more great stuff, those funny Nigerians!

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON DC.
WASHINGTON D.C ROOM,7367
J. EDGAR HOOVER FBI BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, DC 20535,

RE: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP THE INTERNET

We hope this notification arrives meeting your good health and mind. We
the FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) Washington, DC in
conjunction with some other relevant investigation agencies here in the United
STATES of America have recently been informed through our Global
intelligence monitoring network that you are presently have a transaction going
on with the CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN) as regards to your over-due
contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favor accordingly by
the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA.

It might interest you to know that we have taken our time in screening
through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and
have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and
hitch free from all facets and of which you have the lawful right to claim
your fund without any further delay. Having said all this, we will
further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the central bank office
accordingly as we will be monitoring all their activities with you as
well as your correspondence at all levels. We recently had a meeting with
the Executive Governor in the person of Prof. Charles Chukwuma Soludo
along with some of the top officials of the ministry regarding your case
and they made sure we understand that your file has been held in abase
depending on when you personally come for the claim. They also told us
that the only problem they are facing right now is that some criminals
are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people.

We were also informed that another person has contacted them and she
gave us proof of your claim prior to the release of your contract fund
valued at about US$10,700,000.00 (Ten million Seven Hundred Thousand
United States Dollars), but the central bank office did the right thing by
insisting on hearing from you personally before they go ahead on wiring
your fund to the bank information which was forwarded to them by the
above lady, so that was the main reason why they contacted us so as to
assist them in making the investigations.
They further advised that we should warn our dear citizens who have
contract payments which was awarded to them from the central bank of
Nigeria to be very careful prior to these irregularities so that they do not
fall victim to this ugly circumstance anymore. And should incase you
are already dealing with anybody or office claiming to be from the
central bank of Nigeria, you are to STOP further contact with them
immediately in your best interest and contact the real office of the central
bank of Nigeria (CBN) only with the below information’s accordingly:

NAME: Prof. Charles Chukwuma Soludo
(Executive Governor Central Bank
Of Nigeria)
OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria,
Tinubu Square Tinubu
Lagos - Nigeria.
TEL: +234-8054740218
Email:
[email protected]
NOTE:
In your best interest, any message that does not come from the above
official email address with phone number should be nullified and voided
immediately for security reasons. Meanwhile, we will advise that you
contact the central bank office immediately with the above email address
and request that they attend to your payment file as directed so as to
enable you receive your contract fund accordingly.

Ensure you follow all directives from CBN as this will further help
hasten up the whole payment process in regards to the transfer of your
fund to you as designated. Also have in mind that the central bank of
Nigeria equally have their own protocol of operation as stipulated on their
banking terms. All modalities has already been worked out before you
were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings
with them as you proceed so you don't have anything to worry about. All we
require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on
track with you and the Central Bank of Nigeria. Without wasting much time,
we will want you to contact them immediately with the above email
address so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any
further delay as time is already running out.

Should in case you need any more information in regards to this
notification, feel free to get back to us via email so that we can brief you
more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been
completely perfected and you have received your contract fund as
stated.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation.

Best Regards,

ROBERT SWAN MUELLER III
WASHINGTON D.C ROOM,7367
J. EDGAR HOOVER FBI BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,
NW WASHINGTON, DC 20535.

Are they getting dumber or what?

Originally posted by whatukno
Are they getting dumber or what?

They SURE are! I emailed them and pretended I was you and they fell for it! I sent them all my bank details and now that 10.7 mil is heading to MY bank account instead of yours. Ha!

reply to post by mythatsabigprobe


cool Hope that goes well for you.

I hate spams about death and dying, especially from Nygeria, CBN and Prof. Charles! The transparency of receiving these sort of spams via email is sheer rubbish! I cannot believe the email recepient(s) would actually reply to these spams.