Got a situation....

So not sure if you guys care or can help me out but here is the story.

I started dating this really cool punk rock girl about oh four months ago...everything went really cool for almost two months and then out of no where she said she wanted space. So I give her the space she wants and I figure well if she wants to see me she will call and if she doesn't she won't call.

I was a little upset about it I'll admit it, she is a cool girl. I mean our second date was spent searching for this urban legend tree in our town where supposedly devil worshippers meet on the weekend and where three girls were strangled and killed ritualistically....cool right?

Oh our third date was watching Star Wars a New Hope.....does it get better? I say no.


So anyways about a week ago she contacts me online out of no where, then she calls me and acts like nothing happened. Not only that she then proceeds to say "Why have you been avoiding me?"....yeah like that makes sense?

I tell her I was giving her the space she asked for and if she wanted to see me she would call....well two months later she did. Anyways so she wants to hang and stuff and I am ok with that but what should I think ? Try and not get attached again and not get my hopes up?

First I must say I am no professional when it comes to relationship advice. With that said, seems to me like she wanted toi "play the field" without letting you go so she would have someone to come back to if she couldn't find anything better. I would see if she would tell you what she has been doing the past couple of months and if she wont tell you, then you should have at least some sort of idea of what went on. It is possible that she wanted space to herself, but I doubt it.


Any ladies have any input on this?

Originally posted by secret titan
First I must say I am no professional when it comes to relationship advice. With that said, seems to me like she wanted toi "play the field" without letting you go so she would have someone to come back to if she couldn't find anything better. I would see if she would tell you what she has been doing the past couple of months and if she wont tell you, then you should have at least some sort of idea of what went on. It is possible that she wanted space to herself, but I doubt it.


Any ladies have any input on this?

Yeah here is the deal. I asked her straight up what happened tonight when she called me and here are her answers.

1. She had some one come back into her life that she had to deal with and was too emotionally unstable to give me her time.

2. I called her too much and she wasn't sure if she was ready for something really serious.


Those are some straight forward answers....well except the first one is sorta cryptic.

She said she was surprised I didn't call her for two months and she said she missed me more and more until she had to call me.....


So yeah it seems it was a combination of space and a guy she used to date came back to her and she wasn't sure what to do.

So I think I am just gonna take things slow, I just don't wanna get burned again.

Thanks for your reply.

Originally posted by SaucyRossy
So anyways about a week ago she contacts me online out of no where, then she calls me and acts like nothing happened. Not only that she then proceeds to say "Why have you been avoiding me?"....yeah like that makes sense?

that bit right there caught my attention.

are you certain it was her that "contacted you online"??

It almost sounds to me like maybe that wasn't the case, but someone impersonating her.

Originally posted by Mechanic 32

Originally posted by SaucyRossy
So anyways about a week ago she contacts me online out of no where, then she calls me and acts like nothing happened. Not only that she then proceeds to say "Why have you been avoiding me?"....yeah like that makes sense?

that bit right there caught my attention.

are you certain it was her that "contacted you online"??

It almost sounds to me like maybe that wasn't the case, but someone impersonating her.

haha yeah I am positive. No conspiracy here. You missed the part where I said she called me on the phone right after messaging me online.....literally a minute or two into our conversation online she was like "You know let me just call you" and she did.

Ok so here is my opinion as a female.She is definitely toying with you.I assume when she said she needed space she still expected you to follow here around like a lost puppy or something.I do agree with secret titan also.She is a player and has invited you back into her life because she hasn't found anyone else to play her games with.I would keep my distance.Nothing good can come of this.She just wants to hang with you till she gets bored or someone else comes along that she can mess with and she will ask for some space again.Sorry if this seems harsh, just trying to save you more heartache in the long run.

Originally posted by SaucyRossy

You missed the part where I said she called me on the phone right after messaging me online.....literally a minute or two into our conversation online she was like "You know let me just call you" and she did.

If that is the case, then seriously...Lose her. And don't look back.

She doesnt want anything serious. she jkust sees you as someone to play with. Sorry! But do you really wanna be with a girl who ditched you for two months like nothing? You obviously not "#1" in her book. Its cool if you wanna hang out with her, but be weary. Dont expect anything more then like a "friends with benefits" situation. This girl is a heartbreaker! You deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them.

Originally posted by nisurastar
She doesnt want anything serious. she jkust sees you as someone to play with. Sorry! But do you really wanna be with a girl who ditched you for two months like nothing? You obviously not "#1" in her book. Its cool if you wanna hang out with her, but be weary. Dont expect anything more then like a "friends with benefits" situation. This girl is a heartbreaker! You deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them.

Alright thanks for all the advice. It's always better to hear stuff from other people. Makes it easier. I think I am just gonna try not to get attached and have fun....

Originally posted by SaucyRossy
I think I am just gonna try not to get attached and have fun....

Easier said than done, my friend. Be very careful. Thus speaks the voice of long experience doing exactly the opposite.

Use her for a booty call. Do her like a porn star! Make her call you daddy. Sounds like a little freak. Enjoy it for what it is. Have fun, Amigo. She sounds like she wants it!

it depends on what you want, and what your dating mentality is

if you can just have a girl and know how to play the game with her, she will be fun but don't expect this to go long term, and know that if you play the game right, you must have the cajones to cut her loose, when it gets old probably more than a few months, since there are other cool things you guys share, but don't let that fool you into thinking she is worth keeping , and on the flip side just because a girl plays games doesn't mean she is crazy, she is probably just smarter in relationships and when she finds a guy that can "tame" her she may settle down. but there is only one way to figure that out, communicate with her try to figure out her goals and views in life and figure out the *degree* to which she is aloof, usually depends on her baggage

keep her attracted to you. that is the key. make fun of her in a joking way(especially if she is "hot") this will be something she isn't used to and will see you are not just another moron who try's to buy her attention. see her a day and then stay away so she will miss you, dont ever be MEAN, but give her the gift of missing you, this is something girls go crazy for.

if this is not your dating style you need to remind yourself that just because you have these things in common with her and you had fun, this will be SHORT LIVED unless you know how to play the game, and your feelings will be confused and don't fall into the TRAP that this fun will continue forever because it is not her style.

if you wish this was your style call a time out step away from relationships, and re-group and then go back out with a more versatile attitude but don't try to pick up the game during a relationship, you'll be calling "audibles" all day and get beat up pretty bad, especially if she see's what you are trying to do, and that you have no clue. she may teach you a lesson

[edit on 15-7-2007 by cpdaman]

[edit on 15-7-2007 by cpdaman]