In 2001, George W. Bush was diagnosed with "cranial rectalosis". Doctors define this as "the state or condition of having your head up your ***". Speculation is that he got it from Ann Coulter while taping an episode of Fox News but reports are still unconfirmed.
Miss Coulter, though she keeps herself slim and trim, is well-known as a lover of pie. It pains her so much to restrict her pie intake that, when she permits herself to eat pie, she ensures it is a grand occasion. Typically, she goes to a college, invites people to watch, and has the pie brought to her mouth via an overhand throw delivered by one of the local students. Historically the students have had terrible aim, which completely ruins it for everyone.