If Reporters had Balls!

TOP TEN QUESTIONS REPORTERS SHOULD HAVE ASKED DUBYA DURING HIS FIRST PRESS CONFERENCE IN MONTHS, BUT DIDN'T!

11. On a scale of one to ten, exactly how high are you right now, and which drugs did you take to get that high?

10. Are you f***ng everything up on purpose? Or is this never-ending shiiiitstorm simply the end result of your stunning incompetence?

9. In recent comments, you have implied that the Pope is less qualified to comment on what GOD thinks about our coming war on Iraq than YOU are. Where do you get the balls, sir?

8. When you run out of nations to turn against us, are you going to shift your attention to the domestic side by pitting state against state?

7. Do you ever get Jungle Fever and play 'Hide the Texas Long Horn' with Dr. Condoleezza Rice?

6. Did the participating "journalists" have to submit their questions to you beforehand, or did Karl Rove just write their questions for them?

5. Mister Preznit, this press conference is pre-empting the highly popular Survivor: Amazon television series. Is this some kind of petty revenge against CBS for airing Dan Rather's interview with Saddam Hussein against your wishes?

4. Can you produce any concrete, empirical evidence that Dick Cheney is still alive?

3. When you used to call yourself a "reformer with results," a "compassionate conservative" and a "uniter, not a divider," you were being sarcastic, right?

2. What the hell did you mean when you said "this is a scripted..." just now?

1. Who are you trying to kid with this bullshiiiiiiit fakey press conference?