I'm Gettin' Hungry And Stuff!

So I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'........ So I says to myself, Self? I think I'm gettin' hungry and stuff........Hmmmm, yep, I hear lotsa gurglin' and stuff from my belly. I must be gettin' hungry. Hmmmmmm............. What should I be eatin' and stuff? Hmmmmmmm, there's not much in the fridge. Lots of beer though.............Mmmmmmmmmm sweeeet beer....... What else have we got? Hmmmmmm. Some cheese....... Funny I don't remember that cheese bein' green and stuff. I thought it was yellow. I must've been doin' some deep thinkin' when I bought that green cheese. Nah, I don't feel like eatin' any cheese right now. What else? Nothin' really. I guess I have to go out and get somethin'. Now that Paris Hilton has shown us that it's ok to drink and drive and stuff, I think I might grab a couple of beers and go for a ride. Allright Paris! Yeah!
Hmmmmmmm............... I think I might go out and get a nice cheesburger and some fries. Yep. That's what I'm gonna do and stuff.
Where are my car keys? Like I can't find them. I wonder if my dog Yabaastad took them again. "Get over here Yabaastad! Where are my keys?" So Yabaastad comes walkin' over lookin' all sad and stuff. Yep he's got those keys in his mouth. "Give me those keys Yabaastad". So like he drops them and runs up the stairs.
Allrighty, got a couple cold ones and my keys. All set and stuff. Yeah!
So I climb into my fancy 1969 Plymouth Belvedere Station Wagon and start it up. Turn on that fancy AM radio, and here we go. Man! Like I can't wait to get that tasty burger and stuff!
Man, like I can't believe I'm at a red light - I really want that burger and stuff. So the light turns green, and I give it some gas. My fancy 1969 Plymouth Belvedere Station Wagon always sprays this really cool big cloud of white smoke every time I hit the gas. So I look in the rear view mirror - Ahhhhhhhh, yep, there's that nice cloud and stuff. That motorcycle rider behind me looks so surprised!
Ahhhhhh, here we go, pullin' into the burger joint. Yeah!
Let's go through that drive through........
So I pull up to that drive through.

"W--c-m- t- Burg-- Lan- May I ta-- yo-- --der?"

"What?"

"W-lc-m- t- Burg-- Land Ma I ta-e yo-r --der?"

"What? Can you hear me?"

That static is hurtin' my ears and stuff!

"W--ld y-- l-k- to ord--?"

"Can I order?"

"Y-s y-- c-n."

Man! I'm really gettin hungry and stuff. I wish this guy knew how to talk and stuff! Forget this - I'm goin' in!

So I pull into a parkin' spot and get out. Man! That is one really nice and big white cloud of smoke!

Allright I walk in and go up to the counter and I'm only behind one person. The person in front of me is like a hundred years old and stuff. Man I'm really gettin' hungry, I might get 2 burgers! A couple of cops eatin' tasty burgers and stuff. Cool! At least I know I'm safe here and stuff. What's she doin' up there? She's goin' through her purse and pullin' out nickles and pennies and stuff.
Finally! She's done! It's my turn! Yeah!
I go up to the counter. The kid looks at me. He's got quite a nice display of acne. Hmmmmm....maybe I'll have pizza for supper........

"Can I help you"

"Yep! I'd like 2 tasty burgers!"

"Would you like anything on them Sir?"

"Huh?"

"Would you like anything on them?"

(This kids not so bright.)

"Uhm yeah, meat."

"Any lettuce or tomato?"

(This stupid kid thinks I'm a frekin' vegetarian and stuff!)

"No, just meat."

"Would you like to super size them"

"No. I just want two tasty burgers. And some fries"

"Want to supersize the fries."

(Jeez, does this stupid kid want my Social security number too?)

"No. Just 2 tasty burgers and fries."

"Would you like anything to drink with that?"

(I'd hit this stupid kid in the head if I didn't think I'd get pimple juice all over my hand and stuff. He thinks he's so cool. With that fancy uniform, and that cool hat and stuff. And like he has a real fancy badge that has his name on it. I hate this kid.)

"No. I have beer in the car."

(That cop is lookin' at me. So I look back and pump my fist in the air.)

"Paris rocks, Paris rocks, Paris rocks!"

" Sir, would you like any dessert?"

(Stupid Kid!)

"I want 2 tasty burgers, and some fries - that's it."

"Anything else?"

(He's soooo lucky that those cops are here.........)

"NO!"

"Total comes to $5.99."

(So, like I hand this stupid kid a $20.00 bill.)

"Do you have anything smaller sir?"

"What?"

"Do you have anything smaller? We're low on change."

"No. I don't."

"Here's your change sir."

(He hands me my fancy bag of burgers.)

"Thank you Sir. Have a nice day."

(If he only knew!)

"Yeah you too."



So I get to my fancy 1969 Plymouth Belvedere Station Wagon. Ahhhhhh....... yep, I open up one of those tasty burgers, pop open a beer, and turn my fancy AM radio up...........Ahhhhhhh this is livin.!

That stupid kid! Interrogatin' me and stuff. I don't think my day could have been worse..............

Huh! What's that tappin'. It's that cop.

"Excuse me Sir, may I see some ID?"

I hope you started your engine and blew a cloud of white smoke all over that cop and got away. Cops think they're so smart, asking for people's ID and stuff when they're just trying to enjoy their burger and a beer.

Maybe only Paris can get away with drinking and driving. Maybe you need a blonde wig and some $2300 makeup and a trust fund before you can have a beer behind the wheel.

Can I have a burger? I'm hungry too.

Dude to be completely honest with ya.

Most people here could do with getting out more (me included)

You on the other hand should not be allowed out, you are a danger to yourself with all your thinkin' and stuff.

How about you do some thinking about not thinking, yeah that would be good, thinking about meditating and not thinking and stuff, think real hard about how you could spend the whole day not thinking and stuff by thinking about not thinking and stuff.

You just keep on thinkin. Love your posts, allways puts a smile on my face.
Cheers
jon

hilarious...

Cops and burger joints.. don't get it, they are supposed to be in top phyiscal condition and they are eating greesy fast food burgers at the burger shop and living at the donut shop... Go out and start catching real criminals and stuffing your face every chance you get. lol