War Of Terror D&D

Ok, really bored in chat, so this question came about:

What If the War Of Terror, and all surrounding conspiracies was actually played out in Dungeons and Dragons? Would it go something like this:

Terran Blue: I use Micronuke +5!

Zaphod58: I use my Micronuke +6 shield!

Zap: Ha! AND I rolled a natural 20!

Terran: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Terran: I cast Air of Disbelief, and you are elected as President!

Terran: Ah damn! My half elf CIA agent is cursed

Terran: i must go to a temple of Bohemia to get a healing spell form a big owl

Zap: I cast "Hide healing" so you can't find a temple

Terran: I cast the tenth level mage spell All Seeing Weapons Inspectors, and find the temple

Zap: I cast my 15th level Destroy Bohemia spell, and wipe all the temples off the map

Terran: I travel to the Skull and Bones Temple in the lost city of Washington DC, and am healed by Condoleeza Rice in a kimono

Terran: I return and attack with my deadly Iran Strike critical hit, causing Level drain to your Delta Force team.

Terran: I then cast Fatwah, rendering you ineffective in combat.

As you can see, we have too much time on our hands....

You cheater! You're not allowed to cast spells when I'm not aware of them!

I cast my +20 Protection Spell that protects me from everything!

I cast Remove Weapons Embargoes, rendering your protections useless!

I Attack using Sub Orbital Plane +7 with a x78 Backtab multiplier!

I use my +3 Missile Defense to shoot down your Sub Orbital Plane (rolled another natural 20, so it does double damage).

I cast the Sixth level Priest Spell "Summon Neocons", and you are overwhelmed by biting midget-clones of Dick Cheney

Casts a 5th level Turn Neocon and banishes the Neocons back to the undead realm.

Then I cast a 12th level Orbital Bombardment spell, and blast your castle back to the stone age.

I cast the 2nd level Priest Spell "Tony Blair Tour Of Africa," and sap your team's morale.... the I travel to the John Lear Moon Base, and attack using Depleted Uranium Dust Storm

I cast Summon Reptilian and attack your moon base using +12 Nazi UFOs. Then I use the Soul Collector to suck your soul out of your body, preventing you from using resurrection.

I become a 20th level Wraith Dictator, and utilising a Spell Trigger, simultaneously cast Fatwah, Time Travel Black Op, and Halliburton Inspired Executive Decision.

You are destroyed, and banished to the nether regions, from where not even John Lear can Save you.

Terran Wins

[edit on 7-6-2007 by Terran Blue]

*popping in through the door of my ready room*

Ha! I summon the elder god Hastur, who eats Terran and his mighty forces.

Who's the winner now?

I use my Magic Missile to cause a false flag terror up, then use my +2 Mass Media Enchantment to blame it on Terran and use the momentum to justify a war with him.

I use my Controlled Demolition strike and burst forth from Hastur's stomach, showering my enemies with gastric juices. I cast Regime Change on Major Malfunction, turning her into a puppet regime. I then use her to help me cast 'Ritual Of The Proxy War', and she does battle with Wolfofwar on my behalf.

I cast the Tenth Level Mage spell Insurgency on WoW, confusing him and causing constant harrassing damage.

I attack using my +10 MOAB and my +8 Shield Of Unnaccountability. I have an AC Class of -15, and I roll a 20

All enemies take 2 points Acid damage thanks to Hastur's spilled guts per round.

No! I made my saving throw because of my +15 Cloak of Deniability.

Hastur, when hit, splits into two giant shoggoth like creatures that ingest WoW's missle base.

I then summon the Hounds of Tindalos to bear Terran away to the angles of time and seal myself in a sphere so they can't see me.

The sphere disappears in a puff of logic leaving me invisible ...

reply to post by Terran Blue


I'm dieing here laughing at this as if it wasn't sad enough that the War on Terror was happening to begin with, this is actually a funny way to bring to the light of day some of the asinine things within Politics.

I throw the red 18 sided dice : The Seven World Bankers make a move to adjust the war front from overseas to on American soil.

You throw the blue 12 sided dice : Osama bin Laden is found by a CNN Reporter accidently, while hiding in the White House roses in the Rose Garden.

I counter the World Bankers with the spell Fatwah, and I attack the CNN reporter using summoned SAS Dressed As Iraqis +12, which I then use as an excuse to unleash the spell Patriot Act on SKL rendering him confused about his rights to retalliate, hence he misses a round while he sifts through the legal implications.

I cast the Cleric spell Propaganda Campaign to heal my image after the finding of Osama.

reply to post by Terran Blue


I cast the red 6 sided dice : Terran Blue now gets hauled away to a Top Secret C.I.A. Black Site in Albania

Terran Blue casts the 14 sided yellow dice : Nothing happens, as Tony Blair laughs in the background, and the Queen Mother snickers quietly.

I cast the blue 8 sided dice : Princess Diana and Dodi Al Fayed are found to have been taken out by the Queen of England due to Fayed having ties to militant extremist Muslim's.

Terran Blue attempts to cast a die, finding out the Albanian torturers have stripped him down, and next is water-boarding with electric cables attached to his extremities.


[edit on 26-7-2008 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

I cast the spell British Army Rescue and a +15 Tank breaks me out of the Albanian secret prison, amidst much protest from the Albanian Government.

I cast False Flag on SKL, and he starts hitting himself with his own sword.

[edit on 26-7-2008 by Terran Blue]

I cast my +12 spell of Plausible Deniability. Therefore I am invisible to and immune from spells due to the fact that I'm not there (officially). I then proceed to cast Haste upon myself getting the initiative for the next round. I then cast "Summon Shadow Government ". The Shadow Government then proceeds to Invoke the Patriot Act and allows me to tap into both SKL's and TB's private communications array. Lemme see, according to the "Concordance of Evil" Manual this will allow me to see all moves that both of them are doing. BLAST IT!! According to the table on Page 332 there is a chance to roll a savings throw on 3 D6 (6 or less to save vs spell). Roll your dice you two.

I cast the red 12 sided die and get an 11, giving the spell of a "Pissed Off Public" over Deson's "Plausible Deniability" when he was spotted by Paris Hilton as she was tramping herself out at Watergate Hotel where he was hiding. This enacts the U.S. Constitution to be upheld and throws Deson into the Impeachment process, but he eludes this process by moving to Paraguay where there is no Interdiction Treaty, and Hugo Chavez enacts FARC to move against Deson at his holiday home of 100,000 acres where Blackwater has to assist the Secret Service.

I get a secondary roll due to the third person interacting with TB and My match, and roll the blue 8 sided die, enabling the spell of H.A.A.R.P. to be fired up causing Hurricane Jorge to be drafted into existence, and the Alaskan facility simultaneously enacts the Verichip/Digital Angel biochip program to be kick started through the REAL ID Act and the collapse of America's borders.


[edit on 26-7-2008 by SpartanKingLeonidas]

I attack Deson with my Surgical Strike + 10. I miss and hit a hospital. I cast the Cleric spell Propaganda Campaign to Heal my Image. I cast Summon Documentary Maker, and Deson is attacked by a rabid clone of Michael Moore

I cast Missle Shield, giving me a defence and attack bonus against SKL, and I then attack with +6 IED