Just Leave the Kid Alone!!!

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
Lombozo, in one thread you make me laugh like a loon, and in others you bring a tear to my eye.

If you weren't married I'd say I think I love you -- but I don't want to hurt your wife's feelings. She's one of the lucky ones that got a good man.

Somehow in my life, I learned that love = pain. And that to love someone you have to be hurt by them. I've gone to therapy on and off for over 16 years (about 7 years total psychological work) and I have yet to be able to break this cycle for myself.

That's why I say I'm done. I don't trust other people (read: men) no. But I don't trust myself more.

I can't trust myself to pick a decent guy. Something in myself is attracted to pain. Something in me so hungers for attention that I accept the first person willing to give me some. And every guy I've ever chosen to be with has been an abuser in one way or another.

My kids need me, all of me. Not me when I'm not being distracted by trying to build a relationship with another person. If a man can hurt his own kids the way my ex is hurting my daughter, how on earth can I trust someone not related by blood to treat them well?

Anyway, I'm getting older and older, have a once-terminal communicable disease and two small kids. I don't exactly have a lot to offer as a life-partner -- other than a sense of humor and wounded pride.

Maybe you guys are right, maybe someday some guy that is decent and will treat me and my kids well will come along. But I don't trust myself so I don't see how I'll ever be able to trust anyone else.

Anyway, who needs a man? I have ATS.

Aww MM I'm gonna cry-You have courage and you hang in there ok? You let that x have it I mean slam it to him hard in court. Anytime you want to talk u2u me or even call my cell.