The Killing of Hearts and Minds

The following is a true story, something I am thinking of filling out into a book if you like it feel free to u2u me with any questions or comments.

The plan was supposed to be simple, it was supposed to work. He thought back on the preparation, the hours researching every aspect of what was supposed to happen. Looking up from his hands to the mirror he thought to himself looking into his tear filled eyes "How could I loose? I was right dammit, how could I possibly loose?"

The papers signed by the judge spelled it out for him, what he was to do and what his life was going to be for the next 15 years. He felt defeated, the only thing he could think of doing was to wash away this horrible feeling with a lot of alcohol.

He missed his son desperately, his son, the only person that mattered to him in this entire disgusting putrid little universe. His son, the one he fought so hard for in that courtroom. The one person the only person that mattered in this entire divorce. The little version of himself that made his life worthwhile and made everything right in the world. Missing from his life for these last four months because of a decision by his now sworn enemy, his ex wife.

He had been in a sort of time warp for these last four months. Before this he was confident jubilant about the impending divorce to rid himself of the cancer that was this woman from the both of their lives. He thought about the weeks leading up to her departure from his home.

She had called him up at work, he worked evenings doing a job that was both easy and enjoyable to him. "We need to talk about something" She said. He knew what was coming, it was pretty obvious lately that something wasn't right in the house. Something certainly was not right with her in particular. She had been cutting herself lately, not a sign of a rational mind. He worried about her, a part of him still loved her, but he was disgusted by what she had become.

She used to be a large woman, even prior to their son coming along she was heavy. That didn't matter to him, he had fallen in love with her not her body. As long as she was happy he could really care less about how much she weighed.

One day though she decided to do something about her weight. He supported her in this decision as he supported her in all the decisions that she had made during the course of their marriage. She wanted this for herself, he thought it would make her happy so he went along with the idea, even though he knew that the way she was planning to do it wasn't the best idea.

She planned to cut back her caloric intake to below 1000 calories per day, it was an anorexia diet that she assured him that she would be able to control. He told her "I'm worried" which meant that he did not approve of the idea. She reassured him that once she reached her ideal goal weight she would stop. At this point he backed off and decided that he would support his wife in this plan and help her.

Sure enough the weight began to drop daily, she was encouraged by the results on the scale every day. The weight was dropping sure enough. She was happy with herself but some things were changing besides her physical appearance. He had been working as a painter for two high rise condo buildings they were constructing. Every day in the hot Florida sun, he was out there sweating away getting covered in paint and hauling equipment and gallons of paint through the building. The money was good enough for them. She was apparently happy with him, she would be quite supportive of his hard work and would shower him with affection. Meanwhile every day she was logging her progress and divulging her true feelings to the world on a blog that she had set up on a Pro-Mia site. He discovered this one day when they arrived at her office early one morning, tired little boy in tow. He was intrigued by this and decided to create a blog of his own to try and express his contempt at the world that he was in and share some humor with the world.
Their son was going through trouble of his own, only two years old he was now going to day care, which they rationalized as being the best for him because it would help build social skills and increase his vocabulary. However what he was learning was how to hurt other children. It started with another child biting him repeatedly so hard that he would bleed. The man after hearing of this confronted the day care administrator about the problem, apparently the care givers did not notice the attacks because the boy would not cry. He was a rather tough child having had so much fun every day wrestling with his old man. They assured him that the biting would stop and it was rather common for children to do to each other.

The young man finally would have no more of this abuse and started biting the other child back. the day care decided that this behavior would not stop unless the boy was removed from the environment and de conditioned to using that form of self expression. Discussing it between them the man and his wife decided that it would be best if the man stay home with the boy because he hated his job and she already made more money at her job than he did. They were doing alright on one salary so it wasn't too much of a hit to their budget for him to do so.

Although the man was very happy to stay at home cleaning the house and taking care of his son, his wife became resentful in quick order, and started to inquire when he would go back to work. He agreed to seek employment as soon as possible and a week latter he found a great position working at one of the very condo buildings he previously sweated and toiled in painting. His position paid exactly the same as he was making painting however he had to work evenings and on Saturdays which his wife was none too thrilled about. As it turned out accepting this position was the death sentence to their marriage.

Working evenings meant that the wife was left alone with their son to raise by herself at night. They had just moved to a townhouse in a rather shady area and she did not feel safe without her man beside her. she had tried several solutions, she got a dog, he was adamantly against having a dog but she insisted. Rationalizing that in such a de-reputable neighborhood without a man around that it would be the best for them. Seeing that she would not take no for an answer he reluctantly agreed to the pet.

Unbeknownst to the man she also had started to look for other companionship online using a free dating site. Overtly she was only looking for feminine companionship, friends, someone to come over to hang out with. Being bisexual it also meant that she would also have someone to appease other appetites that she was longing for. It wasn't long before she was spending weekends out of town, she would leave Saturday evenings and not return until Monday morning.

Her weight was dropping left and right, she had begun to only eat about 300 calories per day. On her blog she was also getting quite a following of young women that worshiped her. But her attitude towards him was deteriorating at as a rapid pace as her weight loss. Also unbeknownst to him she slid from anorexia into bulimia. Starting to not only starve herself but any nourishment that she did receive she would purge from herself in an attempt to curb calories. She also began to bad mouth him to her coworkers and their friends.

He instinctively knew something was wrong in the marriage, he withdrew from her more and more, resenting her both for her treatment of him and the person that she had become. He thought to himself "This isn't working, maybe I am wrong, I have to do something to make this marriage work before its too late." He was only fooling himself, the marriage was dead, it only hadn't been discovered yet.

That night when he crawled into their bed he reached over and held her close, she winced, and he kissed her on the cheek and held her closer which made her gasp "ouch" he looked up and said "whats wrong? Are you ok?"

"I have a cut" she said.

He turned on the light to look at the wound to find several thin slices across her legs. He was shocked, "Why did you do this to yourself?"

"I needed to feel something." she responded.

The next day he hid every sharp utensil in the house, in a vain attempt to keep his wife safe from herself. he also began to really study her blog in the hope of understanding where she was coming from and to try and salvage the train wreck his relationship with her had become. What he read made his heart sink.

"The first coherent thought to enter my head this morning was where are the goddamned razors ###hole!?!?!"

He wanted to make her safe, he wanted to make her happy only to enrage her even more. He had to do something to make this work. They had a child together after all he had to do it for him. His son deserved to be in a home of love and have a whole family. He decided that she needed help and she would get that help one way or another.

Two police officers came into his building to check out the new place on their coffee break, after letting them into the elevator he asked them "Is there any way I can commit my wife?" jokingly They said, "What you want to get rid of your wife for a while?" He responded, "well she is cutting herself, I am worried."

One officer replied seriously "Well if your serious, call your local sheriffs office, cutting yourself sure is enough to have her held for evaluation. Trust us son, this doesn't end pretty, be sure this is what you want to happen if you want something done about it."

He thought about it, "should I lock up the woman I love? I can't betray her like this, can I?"

It ended up being too little too late, he got the call "We need to talk about something" and she explained to him what she was feeling. She reiterated it in her blog the next day.

The marriage had ended, but the battle had just begun. It would become the most important battle in the mans life...