Could you be celibate?

Russian Soldier, it means you're a book with a glossy cover but nothing inside worth reading.

Hey Major Mal, sorry to hear your story. Life can get awful lonely as we get older. I hope and pray life will surprise you one day.

Some people find real love. Others find a pale imitation.

RS, I know you're young, and I like you, I really do, but I'm really disturbed by your constant referrals to yourself as a 'pimp.'

It denigrates you and the women you are with. The definition of pimp is:

One who finds customers for a prostitute; a procurer.

www.answers.com...

It's nothing to be proud of. A pimp is not a good person, he is an exploiter of women and in essence, most of them are sex slavers because their "girls" don't have the freedom to leave when they want and have to turn their earnings over to their pimp or face beatings or even death.

No offense, my young friend, but show some respect for women AND yourself and please stop referring to yourself as a pimp.

***

Sy, thanks very much. But I've had enough surprises of the negative variety in my love life, and I'd rather be bored and lonely. :bnghd:


[edit to add last sentences]

[edit on 25-6-2007 by MajorMalfunction]

I meant a nice surprise which overcomes your negativity and restores your faith in human nature. Don't wall yourself into that closet.

Be careful what you wish for about being lonely and bored... You might just get your wish come true.

Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
RS, I know you're young, and I like you, I really do, but I'm really disturbed by your constant referrals to yourself as a 'pimp.'

It denigrates you and the women you are with. The definition of pimp is:

One who finds customers for a prostitute; a procurer.

www.answers.com...

It's nothing to be proud of. A pimp is not a good person, he is an exploiter of women and in essence, most of them are sex slavers because their "girls" don't have the freedom to leave when they want and have to turn their earnings over to their pimp or face beatings or even death.

No offense, my young friend, but show some respect for women AND yourself and please stop referring to yourself as a pimp.

***

Sy, thanks very much. But I've had enough surprises of the negative variety in my love life, and I'd rather be bored and lonely. :bnghd:


[edit to add last sentences]

[edit on 25-6-2007 by MajorMalfunction]

SOrry for the misunderstanding, but I was raised in an area where I was taught to use it to mean someone who gets sex, not someone who sells prostitutes, goodness no. I couldn't find any other words, and I was so used to this, I mean, I've been saying it all my life...but I'll find a replacement word, gonna check the dictionary, no offense meant

And I DO respect the women, that's why they're all on me, well actually, I deal with mostly sexual women, don't know about the innocent women, I don't really hang with them much, except maybe some friends. Ooh, I got a new name, instead of pimp, I'll say "Playa". Yeah, and I'm got it "playin"

Originally posted by thehumbleone

Originally posted by Russian soldier

What does that mean?

It basically means you got some issues you need to take care of.

What issues? I ain't got no issues.

You know I only said it because I think you're all right and I think talking about yourself like that is beneath you. "Playah" isn't the best, but it certainly beats "pimp." "Casanova" isn't bad, either. Maybe you can bring that word back to popularity.

Originally posted by sy.gunson
Russian Soldier, it means you're a book with a glossy cover but nothing inside worth reading.

Depends who's reading it. Everyone except lovegirls will find something interesting to read, trust me

Being celibate (by choice) for over 6 years now has been a challenge. Another poster said that women that don't have sex for long periods of time become sexually "dormant". I'd like to dispel that myth. Just because I chose not to have sex doesn't mean I don't want it or think about it.
As far as being lonely, I've never felt more alone in all my life than when I was lying in the arms of some man who didn't really care about me at all. THAT'S lonely. I'd rather do without a man's "entertainment" than to be treated like a disposable commodity. Besides, I'm somebody's moma so I can't be messin' around with someone who's messin' around. Unless you drag them to the health department and both of you get tested for the multitude of communicable diseases that are going around, you have only their hormonally driven promise that they're clean.
I've had plenty of offers and there are times I'm tempted but I've found that if you can just hold out for at least 4 dates, they'll usually quit calling you if all they wanted was sex. Needless to say, I haven't been on a 5th date in years.

Originally posted by souls
Well, you said your celibacy is based on.. hold on...let me get the quote.

originally posted by SpeakerofTruth
I choose to be celibate because I have some psychological issues that inhibits my degree of confidence. I am very insecure and don't really feel comfortable taking the initiative to approach women. I mean, that's on me.

To me this says that your lack of confidence is attributing to your celibacy. True, confidence really is all in the mind, but you are not choosing to be insecure, that is how you have been shaped. So, I felt safe to assume it was not necessarily your choice in the first place.


[edit on 15-5-2007 by souls]

Well, while there is truth to what you are saying, I have to say that I don't know how old you are, but I am thirty years old and I have come to the conclusion that we alone are responsible for how we feel about ourself.

Yeah, I could say that this, that and the other contributed to my feelings of insecurity, but the bottom line is, I really can't blame anyone but myself for the way that I feel. Hell, I can't even tell you what lead to me developing insecurity issues, to be quite honest.



[edit on 1-7-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

I like to be celibate, well not all the time. I have been for almost 4 years now. I do not even know how it happened, but I was sick of giving myself to all the wrong guys. I just closed myself off to that part of my life for awhile. It gave me some time to think about what I really want and who I am. I am glad I am not the only one out there, and glad to see some of you out there put your kids first. Life is short and do not want to be with someone for wrong reasons, that is why people should find out what they really want. Just some thoughts..

double post

[edit on 2-7-2007 by paigcal]

Thanks for all the replies people......

I never realised there would be so many single and celibate peeps here on ATS/BTS.

Nice to know there is so much understanding here too and many different perspectives. Were not all mad, lonely, anti-socials (except when it suits us!), who regularly masterbate ourselves into a "stupor" , although I've always said.......

"It's mine and I'll wash it as fast as I like"!

[edit on 2/7/2007 by nerbot]

I've been celibate for a few years now.

*takes out pipe*

It all started back a few years when I was in late school/early college. Something snapped inside me and I just stopped chasing girls. Before I used to go out and kiss a few now and then, maybe more sometimes, but I just stopped. And even now I just can't be bothered with a lot of the hassle women bring and so I avoid them.

And yet at the same time I want to meet someone and start settling down (at 19!). I want to meet the perfect woman, move out and get a flat or house with her and just be together. Its something I've never down but has always appealed to me.
I think my celibacy was actually me growing up and growing out of the whole skirt chasing thing.

Originally posted by JackofBlades

I think my celibacy was actually me growing up and growing out of the whole skirt chasing thing.

Most guys, if they ever stop, don't stop "chasing skirts" until their mid 30s to early 40s.. I have never really been a girl chaser. Yeah, I have had a few girlfriends here and there, but generally, any relationship I have ever been in, the woman usually had to initiate it. As you know, the girls that will actually initiate anything are few and far in between, so, I had to try to make what relationships I had last for a while... Knowing that it might be a while before another one came along.

Now, I am getting older and women aren't exactly being too initiative towards me anymore, so, I have been single and celibate for quite some time now.

[edit on 27-7-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

People become obsessed sometimes with peoples sexuality. I am glad others are celebate too, so i do not feel like a freak.

I always think that living in the west you have to be doing certain things, and being celebate is not one of them. Being celibate is not hard, its people that find it a problem. You see all people in the west think everyone has to be obsessed with sex, but they cannot understand why someone would not want to go with the opp gender.

Being celebate was the best decision of my life, and i will be that way to the day i die.

[edit on 7/27/2007 by andy1033]

Originally posted by andy1033
People become obsessed sometimes with peoples sexuality. I am glad others are celebate too, so i do not feel like a freak.
[edit on 7/27/2007 by andy1033]

You should never think of celibacy as "freakish", or anything like it.

Anyone that does, just doesn't understand and/or accept the persons "lack" of interest or desire for the socially acceptable norm.

And yeah, it's great.

I was celibate for three years until quite recently.

For me it was more a rejection of the idea that having sex is necessary. I began around age 17, and, being a gay person, it was odd for my perceived niche. I figured that since the majority of people are obsessed with sex, escaping it could provide great enlightenment. It's helped me become who I am today, and find myself far from distracted by sexual thought. Don't get me wrong, it's fun to fool around every now and then, but my libido has become so calm that I am very able to go months without sex.

I just hate people defining a person because of their declared sexuality. That was one of my reasons. Being gay is just a part of who I am, not "who I am" or what I am.

[edit on 10-8-2007 by iceofspades]