Well I must say, I'm grateful for everyone's responses here. I never imagined there would be so much positive feedback to this thread.
I see in here that some may be choosing celibacy for their failures in their past relationships.
You may be right there, however, for me, it wasn't a concious choice made because of the failures, but a slow evolution following a time of extremely
deep emotional stress. Staring into the abyss night after night and asking things like "why me?" and "where do I belong?". There was far more to
it than just sex.
Thankfully, I got through those dark times after much "incubation" and self healing. I chose life rather than suicide and had found a clarity in my
life I never imagined I could experience.
With this new clarity, I knew that if I had another physical relationship, I would be a more complete person with eyes wide open, not some troubled
soul looking for affection at any opportunity.
I have decided to leave myself open, knowing that lightening can strike, but open for the right person. And being more "me" if that was to happen.
(I didn't give up completely you see). With that on the back-burner,(six years now) I am free to get on with living my life, without the normal
physical ego controlling my encounters.
Some people may call this selfish or egotistycal, but for me, it is essential
. I could not survive another trip into that abyss.
So...in response to the comment by "souls", my celibacy was the result of success rather that failure. A necessary evil!
btw: the best book I ever, ever, ever read "In the Dark Places of
Quote from "In the Dark Places of Wisdom", Peter Kingsley:
We want healing from illness, but it's through illness that we grow and are healed of our complacency. We're afraid of loss, and yet it's through
what we lose that we're able to find what nothing can take away from us.We run from sadness and depression. But if we really face our sadness we find
it speaks with the voice of our deepest longing; and if we face it a little longer we find that it teaches us the way to attain what we long for. And
what is it we long for? That's what this story is about...........................................
[edit on 12-5-2007 by nerbot]