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Could you be celibate?

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posted on May, 11 2007 @ 07:43 AM
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Celibacy (choosing the single life) is an overlooked topic in many areas of conversation, here and in the outside world, and should, in my opinion, be considered alongside hetro, homo and bi-sexuality.

There are everyday rants, questions and answers on physical relationships and the pros, cons, biases and opinions associated with them, but I would like to know how many of you have chosen the single life and for what reasons?

Religous, spiritual, social and physical aspects may all be involved and also, what is the ratio of males to females?

What led you to your situation and how permenant do you see it?

Did your celibacy come about from choice or neccessity and do you feel it is a weakness or a strength?

Any sensible comments!




posted on May, 11 2007 @ 08:49 AM
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Yes. Yes I could. I am and have been for nearly two years now.

At first it was because my abusive husband decided one day he wasn't going to have marital relations anymore, claiming he was sick of my holding sex over his head, when in actuality he had a girlfriend on the side when I was pregnant with our second child.

After the baby was born, I left his sorry behind. That was a year ago next Tuesday.

It is my intention to never get involved in a relationship again. I have two small children who deserve all their mother's attention. I have never had a relationship with a man who has NOT been abusive in one way or another. I clearly do not know how to choose someone who will be good to me. My children do not deserve to be dragged through what I've put myself through for my entire life. I have a responsibility to THEM to protect them from the abuse I've unconsciously sought for myself all my life.

Unless I meet a man-saint, rich, handsome, and with the temperament of Buddha, there will never be another in my life.

I remain celibate for my kids, and my own sanity.



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 12:14 PM
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I'm willing to bet that msot people unwillingly spend larg chunks of their life celibate. Or at least need to get used to the idea of going a year or two between things, cuase thats just life. Even wild animals go through long streaches of no sex from time to time. PArt of life I guess.

THe hard part is to not let the idea that life is slipping by and your missing it just cause your celibate cement it's self.



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 12:19 PM
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Hi, thanks for your reply "major". Interesting stuff.



It is my intention to never get involved in a relationship again.


This was said in reference to "physical" relationships I imagine? You still have regular friends I'm sure!



Unless I meet a man-saint, rich, handsome, and with the temperament of Buddha, there will never be another in my life.


No such thing as a man-saint I think, and would money make you happy? (Check my signature) I've never met a person who's loaded I truly like. And as for handsome....well...beauty's skin deep in my opinion. Ugly people try harder and good lookers quite often need constant confirmation.

The "temprament of Buddha" sounds like the best option to me.

So nice to hear you talk about your kids Rrrrrrespect.
Too little attention is given to them when these kind of topics come up for discussion. I have none of my own but I used to be one!

nice one ;-)



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 12:32 PM
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I chose to be with one person and never really felt the need to be with another. When she left that turn my world upsidedown. I dated an old girlfriend of mine afterwards, but it just didn't seem right. I've been celibate the complete time and God has rewarded me for it. I can not say how because that is between me and my savior. I feel the need to have friends that are female but not in a sexual manner. That makes it difficult because most want sex eventually. My loyalty has remained to this woman and will remain until she passes. I spent $40.00 to get information on her and the phone number was wrong. I don't have the money to waiste like that. I have hard enough time saving up to insure and register my van. If you really are on this forum, please come and find me, my post say where I am. I'm not concern about my past and you should not either. I'm a part of you and weather you realize it or not, noone can harm you. You just have to believe it. We are protected and if we are harmed than everyone will know.

I said we would get back together when I'm 40 years old. The problem is that you have to find me, because the people in the bay area have found out and are keeping me poor and homeless to prevent me from doing so.

Happy Mothers Day

I hope Pamela and Debbie are doing well. One secret. I had a big crush on Debbie, but I loved you. She was like a flower child and that was so cool. I like the picture you showed me when you were younger and in the field of daisies. You always were so beautiful, even amoungst the wild flowers.



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 12:34 PM
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From bassplyr:


THe hard part is to not let the idea that life is slipping by and your missing it just cause your celibate cement it's self.


Good point.
To understand that it is a natural thing to spend time single would eliminate some of the problems and miss-matches that come from peer-pressures and conformity. :bash:

Celibacy doesn't have to be permanent, it's a state of mind maybe, or a time of chosen independance for reflection and finding of that elusive "even-keel" to avoid getting "burned" again?



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 12:44 PM
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MrMysticism.....you obviously have big things going on there, could you please clarify who you are trying to talk to, maybe U2U me, and also....do you have further views on "celibacy"?



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 02:17 PM
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Not only could I, I have been for quite some time now.



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 03:19 PM
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Could you be celibate?


As was mentioned previously, most people are celibate at times, albeit temporarily.

But for me to go the rest of my life being celibate, it wouldn't be by choice. Even though many painful relationships and breakups, etc., make me think about it sometimes.

But at the end of the day I know that it wouldn't work out for me. (to be completely or permanently celibate)



[edit on 5/11/2007 by Mechanic 32]



posted on May, 11 2007 @ 08:49 PM
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I am. It's not as hard as you think. Can you stop smoking? I liken it that way.



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 02:56 AM
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First, I think you have to define what you mean by celibate. Which of the following fits?
a) No orgasms by choice
b) No orgasms by age or prostate surgery
c) Orgasms only from nocturnal emissions
d) Orgasms self-induced, but without another person present
e) A close, loving relationship with someone but without orgasms
f) A close, loving relationship with someone with sexual contact, but without orgasms.

Others could probably define additional choices.

I fit both subcategories of b) above, and now live alone. I enjoy people but am quite happy not being in a strong relationship.

Of course, there's the old joke about the monk who is asked if they are sure they haven't made any errors in the copies of copies of the manuscripts they've based all of their work on over for hundreds of years. He goes back in the vault to check the originals. Later he is seen pounding his head against the wall. When asked what's wrong, he says, "We missed the 'r', we missed the 'r.' "

Occam



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 04:55 AM
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From SteveR:



I am. It's not as hard as you think. Can you stop smoking? I liken it that way.


Yeah, I sure would have a hard time stopping smoking! Good reply

And Occam:




First, I think you have to define what you mean by celibate. Which of the following fits?
a) No orgasms by choice
b) No orgasms by age or prostate surgery
c) Orgasms only from nocturnal emissions
d) Orgasms self-induced, but without another person present
e) A close, loving relationship with someone but without orgasms
f) A close, loving relationship with someone with sexual contact, but without orgasms.


What's with all the orgasms?
I think you may be a little confused at the real meaning of "celibacy!"

From Dictionary.com:


celibate: 1. a person who abstains from sexual relations.
2. a person who remains unmarried, esp. for religious reasons.
3. observing or pertaining to sexual abstention or a religious vow not to marry.
4. not married.

Usage Note: Historically, celibate means only "unmarried"; its use to mean "abstaining from sexual intercourse" is a 20th-century development. But the new sense of the word seems to have displaced the old, and the use of celibate to mean "unmarried" is now almost sure to invite misinterpretation in other than narrowly ecclesiastical contexts. Sixty-eight percent of the Usage Panel rejected the older use in the sentence He remained celibate [unmarried], although he engaged in sexual intercourse.


Also Occam, could you clarify your joke. ??

Thanks for your input.

[edit on 12-5-2007 by nerbot]



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 09:38 AM
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I can clarify the joke: celibate with an r is celibrate, a misspelling of celebrate.

But I'm confused, Occam, didn't you have a wife?



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 09:59 AM
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Thanks "Major", now I get it



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 03:00 PM
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My understanding of celibate is someone who isn't currently having sexual relations with another. Generally, you have to be in this situation for an x amount of time. It doesn't mean that you are virgin, like someone on here implied. It means that you have refrained from having sexual relations for an extended period of time.

[edit on 12-5-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 03:18 PM
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What led you to your situation


Marriage


and how permenant do you see it?


Until pay day probably



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 03:43 PM
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Originally posted by MajorMalfunction
I have a responsibility to THEM to protect them from the abuse I've unconsciously sought for myself all my life.

Unless I meet a man-saint, rich, handsome, and with the temperament of Buddha, there will never be another in my life.

I remain celibate for my kids, and my own sanity.


I really admire your candour MajorMalfunction and your self-determination, I wish you well. You mention your unconscious and I think you're on to something. I think that over time you will become a better judge of character. In the meantime indulge yourself and get to know what you really want from life. While your children grow ensure that you have a plan for your continuing life once they are adults. Remember that not all men are bad just the ones that have seen their victim in you.

All the very best



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 03:46 PM
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Thank you, Kilgore. It's hard enough raising kids without throwing in a new affair on top of it. They'd lose out if I did that. I'm not exactly what you'd call a prize catch or a trophy wife, so I will probably always be suspicious of any male's attentions from now on.

C'mon what sincere and good hearted guy would go for a 42.5 year old, HIV+ single mother of two? Nutcases are usually all that apply for my attention.



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 04:00 PM
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Hey you get good hearted nut cases too!!!

For me far more important than sex is companionship. Finding someone in who's company you are most comfortable and stimulated. Sex can be bought and sold on a street corner - it isn't difficult to obtain, it is not the be all and end all, a pleasure but not the only pleasure.



posted on May, 12 2007 @ 04:26 PM
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I see in here that some may be choosing celibacy for their failures in their past relationships. In my opinion celibacy cannot be all that good. Let me ask those who are celibate. Do you masturbate?

Sex is a primitive instinct that is not that easy to ignore. It has been said that women that do not have sex after sometime, or that have unsatisfactory sex, become, in a sense, sexually dormant. I'm not sure if it is the same for men. As for my self, I would not choose celibacy by choice. Sex is an essential part of my life despite past relationships. In fact, you can still be single and have as much sex as you want with as many women(men for the ladies) as you want without being in a formal relationship.






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