My Aunt Looney!

The way you nutballs attempt to connect the dots from the neocons to government sponsored conspiracy to 911 to Afghanistan/Iraq invasion goes beyond wacky, it’s delusional. You all remind me of my Aunt Luanne, we all called her Aunt “Looney”, because…well….let’s just say she was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. She used similar reasoning when she noticed her peanut butter was missing. Story....


My Aunt Luanne was in her late 60’s when she came to live with us when I was a young boy. Mom and Dad warned me and my sister that Aunty was not quite right. We had no idea. One day, Aunt Looney could not find her last jar of peanut butter she ordered special from England. It was a special brand she really loved. No one was allowed to touch her peanut butter but her. After pondering things for a while, she said….. “I know what happened to my peanut butter! The neighbor across the street broke in the house and stole it!” I asked her how in the world she came up with that idea? She said, “I was at the supermarket, ran into our neighbor and struck up a friendly chat. Then I noticed she had several jars of peanut butter in her basket. She mentioned that her kids loved peanut butter and Jif was their favorite brand. Then I told her about my special peanut butter and our neighbor became fascinated about my peanut butter. She wanted to know where to buy it. I said she couldn’t buy it. I told her I get it special from overseas. She wanted to know all about my peanut butter. I finally had to cut the conversation short and get on my way. Then I asked my aunt, “well if she did steal your peanut butter, how did she do it?” She’s never been inside of our house and there’s no evidence of a break in. My aunt began to explain that the neighbor put her husband up to it, he's a locksmith. He picked our lock. She continued, “the husband went along with it”, she surmised, “he was black-mailed!” “They’re going through a nasty divorce and he’s afraid that she’ll really make his life hell, if he doesn’t do what she says.” Anyway, my sister finally admitted to eating the rest of the peanut butter. My aunt didn’t believe her! Said she checked the trash and there was no empty jar. In addition, there had been no bread in the house for a week, so what would my sister have eaten it with? Also, she never saw my sister eat peanut butter, ever. Therefore, the neighbors must have broken in and stolen it. She accused my sister as being “in on it”, because she was friends with the neighbor’s children. Then after she found out the neighbor’s husband was my Little League coach two years ago and I would occasionally get a ride home from school from the neighbor, “boom”…..she accused me on being part of the conspiracy!

So here’s the parallel that shows the neocons are like the neighbors in my story.

1) Motive - The neocons want oil and influence in the Middle East, much like the neighbor wanted my aunt’s peanut butter.
2) Opportunity/Reason – The neocons knew US had the means to get the oil and establish a middle east presence and the only way to get them to do it was to blow up the WTC and Pentagon and blame it on Osama Bin Laden. Just like our neighbor knew her husband had the means to pick our lock and get the peanut butter, and the only way to get it get him to do it was to black-mail him during their divorce.
3) Proof – The government caused 911 because burning airplane fuel can’t melt buildings , there’s no death records on the plane passengers, people reported a missile flying into the the Pentagon. The neighbor’s husband stole the peanut butter, because there was no empty jar in the trash can, no bread in the house, and my sister was never ate peanut butter.
4) Cover-up – Media people and politicians are in on the 911 cover-up because they have connections with the neocons. My sister and I were in on the stolen butter cover-up because we had connections with the neighbors.

Eventually my Aunt Looney was committed. You guys are next!

Mod Edit: All Caps – Please Review This Link.

[edit on 11/5/2007 by Mirthful Me]

Lack Of Commitment

Originally posted by iandavis
Eventually my Aunt Looney was committed. You guys are next!

Ironically enough, anyone committed to actually reading what people post on ATS would realize that lumping all of us together like this would be... well, looney.

Instead of launching into a questionable tirade directed at fictional straw men, why not take some time to learn that our tens of thousands of members have different opinions about pretty much every topic that's discussed here?

Not that there aren't plenty of paranoid ATSers (this *IS* a conspiracy site, after all), but if you should choose to learn more about what this community is really all about, I'm confident you'll come to see how absurd it would be to post as if everyone here has the same point of view.

Our motto is "Deny Ignorance", and there's no better way to do that than by denying the ignorance that exists within each of us by replacing it with wisdom.

A broad brush paints a crude picture.

You're only paranoid if they aren't out to get you. Where there's smoke there's fire. If it looks like a duck.....

(Help, I'm stuck in a loop of old 'sayings'.)

The truth is, do some investigating. That's a lot different than assuming, or taking someone else's word for it. Look at the evidence and then see where the truth is.

I personally don't think that the official story is the truth. That doesn't mean that I think the Illuminatti used Jewish money to buy fake planes, then switched them with the real 9/11 flights, and remotely flew them into the WTC, and are still holding all the passengers to trade with the EBEs who will need their blood for some arcane purpose.

It does mean that I think my government lied about what happened then, because I find too many inconsistencies in the official version. Do I have to wade through a lot of crap to seek answers? Sure, but thats the price I pay to know who is doing what.

Just go look.

Originally posted by iandavis
The way you nutballs...

Great way to start a thread. Here's what I think of your thread, and your aunt....

This aunt of yours sounds exactly like my mother.

Just last week she was accusing my of sneaking through the kitchen window and re arranging her spice shelf just to confuse her

Lord help me.

Originally posted by theRiverGoddess
This aunt of yours sounds exactly like my mother.

Just last week she was accusing my of sneaking through the kitchen window and re arranging her spice shelf just to confuse her

Lord help me.

It was me.
We were out of "terrorgon", sorry!

To the original Poster.

When I read your story that supposedly parallels us "inside job" deniers.
I had a whole different take on it.
That the simplest explanation was most logical.
A terrorism attack. Plain, and simple.
Funny huh?

fudge you too, darling.

And why weren't the short-sells on the airlines in the weeks leading up to 9/11 ever adequately investigated?

Most people go their whole lives not looking past their nose let alone over their shoulder. I would have to say you are not one of those people because you would have to crawl out from under your rock, take off the blinkers and remove your tunnel vision spectacles to even have a chance of knowing whats going on.

Did George Bush say Saddam had Weapons of Mass Destruction or not ??? Did Donald Rumsfeld say they "knew" were they were or not ??
So if these statements were not correct then they must be lies....lies to cover up something perhaps ??? or perhaps thats a conspiracy ???

Its a conspiracy that they never said those things ?? hehehe see what im going ?. Mate get real, WTC7 is the only evidence you need to say something is wrong with this picture. It is the first building to free fall collapse after not getting hit by a plane ?.

Are you saying that a building can collapse on its own with a small fire in it ??? thats a f!@#$%^ conspiracy you freak!.

Decorum my friends. We're not going to curse out or insult people just because they don't believe any of the alternative theories on 9/11, nor are we going to allow polite answers to be answered with insults.

iandavis, a few barbs aside, has presented a logical challenge to those of us who believe. So lets do it. The side which has the facts on its side, assuming it has a mastery of the relevant data, should be the side that prevails in a calm, reasoned discussion, no?

I've got paperwork to fill out for my new job in about an hour so I'll have to postpone my entry into that fray, but I'll be around. I hope I come back to a good discussion.

what's most disturbing is a mod edited the original post when a mod should have deleted it. sounds like our government friends are back...

Originally posted by The Vagabond
Decorum my friends.

His whole post is an insult, nothing more, nothing less, it deserves no decorum. It doesn't even deserve comment.