Someone Else's Fault

It always is isn't it?

Just read some of the recent threads and you get a wonderful psychological look into the complete lack of personal responsibility that infects our world. Blame blame blame, always blame someone else and jump on whatever band wagon is waving the highest flag at the time.

Stupid Cops arresting those innocent people. So what if they had dope, so what if they fought the police, so what if they just killed their spouse,the police are suppose to be kind and gentile, no matter the person was trying to kick his head in. Can't be there fault, has to be someone else's.

I'm Black and I'm poor. Not because I spent my entire Junior and Senior year on the Corner with my "boys", NO, because my ancestors were slaves. Not because I wont keep a job and have 7 children with 4 women, nope, it has to be....
Someone Else's Fault

I'm homeless with no money. So what if I spent my mortgage money on new pants and a new car, the only reason I wasn't working was because the only job I am suited for is CEO of IBM, but they never called. Now the Government wont build me another home to run down.... Can't be me, must be....
Someone Else's Fault

Even with the advanced intellect one comes to expect here on ATS, the number of threads and replies that fit into this category is astounding. Just when you begin to think that someone has finally grown up and accepted their ridiculous attitude for what it truly is, there they go and post another flaming pile of rhetoric, unsubstantiated and with no intellectual merit.

This happens time and time again, and causes one to speculate upon the closed mind and it's apparent inability to learn basic conceptual principles.

Don't get me wrong, they are entertaining, much like a train wreck without the tragedy, one can watch and laugh without guilt. However the student of psychology can only be saddened by the obvious continuance of this destructive behavior.

Perhaps it is the lack of "effective" formal education. Not just school, any moron can claim they go to school and many a moron has attended the required classes; I speak of effective formal education here. The type of education that teaches one the value of an open mind and eliminates preconceptions and reduces the instances of psychological prejudices. This education requires of the student a level of commitment one does not easily find in those that refuse to accept responsibility for their own actions. Thereby the "catch 22" falls into place. Those that would benefit the most from this enlightenment, are the ones least likely to obtain it. Why? Because the way they are can't be their fault.. Nope...
Must be Someone Else's Fault...

Semper

semperfortis,

I think it all comes down to people not wanting to admit they have a flaw or a personal problem to solve. It is so much easier to blame someone, or group and shift the blame somehow. taking personal responsibility comes with a lot of unknowns for most people, thus creating that fear factor response.

I completely understand your logic and comments here. I often get heated thinking about this issue. It's so easy to point a finger, toss a "Red Herring", that people will do this first instead of facing problems head on.

If everyone took personal responsibility for themselves, just think about how our world would be. And on that note........


RT



[edit on 26-4-2007 by Realtruth]

[edit on 26-4-2007 by seagull]

Well said Semper, well said.

Here in the UK, we recently saw a young lady (?) jailled for 4 months for having falsely accused a taxi driver of rapeing her.

This guy is now an outcast from the Muslim community, has lost his house, his job, his reputation and almost lost his family.

Yet it is not this girl's fault - she was so drunk that she could not really remember what happened.

Neither was it her elder sister's fault for abandoning her in the taxi, despite the fact that her sister kept throwing up!

Shamefull!

You said it!! There is a severe lack of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY in America and on this entire planet.

Always blame everyone else and never take a look in the mirror.

There is a thread here that someone speculated that people are getting dumber. I agree. They are dumber because they dont' take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and they expect a nanny-state to take care of them.

(a nanny-state that interrupts natural selection btw - harsh but true)

Wait. Now I'm confused.

I thought it was all Bush's fault.

Originally posted by jsobecky
Wait. Now I'm confused.

I thought it was all Bush's fault.

Well, he'll be out of office soon so we'll see a window where we dont know who's fault anything is until 2008. Then if an R wins it'll all be his fault and if a D wins it'll all go back to being Bush's fault and all of the troubles will be the D's struggling to undo the terrible state left by Bush.

From top to bottom it's always somebody else's fault.

The times where I clearly dropped the ball and have admitted my screw up have left people lost and confused. They dont know what to do when you admit fault so they start telling you, "oh, its not your fault" and if you refuse to make excuses they will make them for you.

Its really really REALLY sick and I have no idea where it comes from or how it became such a reflex for people to keep passing the buck.

I agree that there's a lack of self-accountability and responsibility of late and it's getting worse and worse. And it's almost like it's expected. This is a concern of mine, socially and globally (I'm sure most of you know about my "victim mindset" thread on this subject). What concerns me is that it spreads like a disease.

Here's a sensitive subject:
I was watching a show the other night and they were in one of the "temporary" Katrina FEMA trailer parks talking to one of the residents there. She was a fairly young woman (35 maybe?) living with her 6 children in one of the small trailers! Of course it was heartbreaking to see all those small kids smushed into one bedroom. But as they talked, I realized that 2 of her kids were clearly under 2 years old...

We're coming up on the 2 year anniversary of Katrina, so AT LEAST one of these babies was conceived well after Katrina AND with the full knowledge that she already had 5 mouths to feed, without a home or income or husband/father in the picture... What made this woman think that it was safe to bring another child into her family? What thought (or lack thereof) made her take the chance of having sex without contraception when she already had 4 or 5 kids??? How completely selfish and self-centered does a grown woman have to be to disregard the health and well-being of her current children for a moment's pleasure? Where were her mental faculties???

I am just dumbfounded by the arrogance and ignorance of people who act in such irresponsible ways, thinking that someone else will take care of them or that it's Someone Else's Fault. Go ahead and tell me I have no empathy or understanding, because I know that's simply not true. I do have empathy for this woman. But I'm not going to support her in her self destruction and lack of responsibility for the very lives she brings into this world. I'm sorry. I'm not an enabler. When I see someone bent on self-destruction, not caring at all about the babies that she's taking down with her, I will not support her irresponsibility...

Sorry if I got off on a tangent, but when I read this thread, I was just reminded of that story.

Originally posted by jsobecky
Wait. Now I'm confused.

I thought it was all Bush's fault.

If people give their power away easily by not taking personal responsibility, it will always be someone else's fault. Sad.

Personal responsibility? What's that?

Why should I have enought self respect to own up to my problems, when there are so many out there just waiting to say to me, "It's not your fault, it's the fault of (insert group here, all flavors available)."

Benevolent Heretic. I don't know whether it was the same program or not, I watched ust recently concerning Katrina refugees, one of them was absolutely enraged because the gov't. had cancelled his gov't. funded debit card because he'd abused it. Turns out he was buying stereos and other assorted things instead of food. Doesn't want to work because he wants the gov't money.

Personal responsibility seems to be going the way of the dinosaur.

Right on!! That's what I say over and over and over again. If it's not someone else's fault it's some THING'S fault.

[edit on 27-4-2007 by SpeakerofTruth]

I'll agree Semper, I'm always saying the same thing.


McDonalds didn't get you fat! You chose to eat their 4 times a day.

Video games and movies didn't make you do stupid things, you did them yourself.

YOU are the only one that controls what YOU do. Not anyone else, YOU are to blame.

Originally posted by enjoies05
YOU are the only one that controls what YOU do. Not anyone else, YOU are to blame.

You're quite right, of course, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept.

Maybe we can create a trade in "guilt credits", much like Al Gore's "carbon credits".

I'm sorry enjoies05, but that's just plain wrong. My dear departed mother always brought me up to believe in US! That is US - as in WE.

But if anything went wrong and it often did, it was never OUR fault, and WE were not to blame. I'm joking of course.

In life you must always take responsibility for your actions, be they right or wrong, good or bad.

Parents have much responsibility but their main responsibility is to ensure that their children are brought up safely, with love and affection, to become law abiding citizens, and to teach them right from wrong.

Semper do you not think though that the examples you give go right across society and not just in the social group you mentioned. I mean whilst some one is claiming welfare a corrupt business man is putting a thousand on welfareand blaming some one/thing else for it.

In the US you have the I'll sue you culture, that when something goes wrong there has to be some body to blame and claim from. Do you not think that society as a whole has bred this culture, that in reality thats what the money men want, people who are inacapable of standing on their own 2 feet and being strong and independant.

If think we are in an age were it is almost expected that this is the norm, the status quo, is it because we have too many liberties is it too much PC that has created a vaccum into which a thousand and one excuses have been sucked into?

Yes, yes, yes, and let's blame them.....

This happens time and time again, and causes one to speculate upon the closed mind and it's apparent inability to learn basic conceptual principles.


Oh, not their faults then??!!

From what I've read in the above posts, the operative/main-theme words are:

PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY

PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY

Why do people shy away from this?

Fear?... Apprehension?... Closed Mindedness? Who knows.

IMO, people who finger the blame to others:

Examples:

1. Cannot properly retaliate one's position and direct the 'hot-seat' to a more 'viable personable aquisition'.

2. Is 'caught in the act', and places blame unto anothers, to re-direct the question, to interpret other meanings; thus re-directing the blame.

Does personal responsibility come naturally?
Or is it taught?

I believe it is something that is taught. Taught by teachers, parents, other role models. It's learned by example.

So, if that's the case. The lack of personal responsibility can VERY often be blamed on lack of guidance. Which in turn, makes it someone elses fault.

That is interesting, whether or not it's taugh or learned naturally.


I think when you're a little kid, you wouldn't really understand that something is wrong or right, but as you get older in life you should understand it yourself without anyone telling you to.

Why do people shy away from this?

I think it's because people don't want to think something is wrong with them, or they did something bad. They want to feel like they are perfect so they think "It's ok, that thing wasn't my fault, I shouldn't worry about it. Someone else made me do it. But again no one controls what you do.

Why is your post specifically targetted to certain people? Why do you not reference the pervasiveness of this mindset in the general population as a whole? So, then, is it just blacks, homeless folk, and criminals that call "someone else's fault"?

To the crux of it indeed.

Originally posted by semperfortis
Stupid Cops arresting those innocent people. So what if they had dope, so what if they fought the police, so what if they just killed their spouse,the police are suppose to be kind and gentile, no matter the person was trying to kick his head in. Can't be there fault, has to be someone else's.

This is the second thread you've made about this...


[edit on 28/4/07 by SteveR]