free association drawing

Something odd has been occurring to me for a couple of years.
When I was a child i used to have strong premonition, displaying as a single sentence command in my head kind of "Something bad is gonna happen.". Usual it was referring to life risking situation such as a car crash.

Lately is different. I simply start drawing some odd figures, symbols. I don't know why, or even their meaning, but its if I could not stop myself from drawing them whenever I get distracted, having a pencil and a piece of paper by the hand.

The first time it occurred, I started drawing spirals, compulsively. Or I just drew spiral like figures, like a snail... a couple of days later a dear friend died. We had a deep connection. The drawing impulse for spirals dropped. Later, I found out spirals where the symbol of ever flowing life, cycle of death and rebirth, transmutation and continuation...

The second time that impulse came to me, I was just drawing the infinite symbol (the horizontal "eight")... I still don't know what that meant. It ceased.

I am writing this because, now it came again. First the spiral again, for a couple of days, which scared me off a lot. But now is a "8 outward-pointing arrows" symbol.

My professional life is quite messy and undefined at the moment... I am a last year law student and it has been quite difficult to find a placement so far, lots of interviews and lots and lots of uncertainty. I am not sure where to turn within so much confusion.

Why am I telling this? I just googled for the eight arrows symbol meaning... guess what, it is suppose to represent the "chaos"; they are called "the arrows of Chaos" or "the order of chaos".

My question is: how come those symbols appear before me, in my mind, representing the reality around me, since I don't know them, I don't know their meaning. Where are they coming from? What am I suppose to do with them? Are they just for comfort, or am I suppose to do something with this "information"?

Any thoughts are welcome...

[edit on 18-4-2007 by Falkner]

Show us some of your drawings if you don't mind. I for one would be interested in seing some of the drawings and possible interpretations.

its like sketchs. i'll take a photo of those I made today while I was taking a boring class...