I find it easy to forgive but hard to forget

If the one you love cheated you, and you have forgiven. The the next step is to forget. Now, that, I find so hard. I keep remembering every minute of betrayal. The pain, it's like a monster that consumes my mind & my body. It's alwasy there, teasing. It can drive someone crazy. It's torture.

I need kind advice to forget painful memories so that I can go with my life. Free of guilt, regret and keep thinking what could I have done to prevent it from happening.

Peace.

Friend, there's probably nothing that you could have done to keep it from happening. If someone is wanting to cheat, they're going to find a way to do it, no matter what. If you try to always "be there" then you run the risk of smothering them and they'll get tired of that too...

I don't know what encouraging words I can offer other than what I live by...


When I first met my wife, I was a little worried about cheating. We'd both come out of long relationships and wanted to be together, but at the same time wanted a little freedom.

Up until meeting her I had always been a very jealous person, since I was a teenager, most of my girlfriends cheated on me and I think that my first wife thought about it. Now you may ask, well why did that happen, was it my fault? I don't think so. I'm a very nice guy, I treat women very well. Some times too well, but thats another discussion.

It was very hard for me to trust Jen when I first met her, 9 years ago. She was a very independent person. I had to learn to love and trust her at the same time.

I did this by telling myself, I'm going to put myself out there and love her and trust her, if she does something then it's not my fault. I did the right things, treated her right and gave her my love, if she messed up then it's on her and I must choose to get over it or move on.

Well we're still together, I trust her completely to this day as she does me. I still feel the same way, if she cheated, yes it would hurt, but it wouldn't be my fault, I would have to move on.

You'll probably never be able to forget what happened, I know that I wouldn't. You just have to learn to accept if as a fact and maybe a lesson in life and go forward.

I don't know if that helps, just keep your head up and try to move forward.

Good Luck.

[edit on 3-4-2007 by elevatedone]

Ya, ia lso many times forgive. Actually, i almost always forget. But i often hold a grudge about a certain thing. SOmething that waz hurtful is very hard to forgit even if u are talking to that person like every thing is fine.