Khalid Sheikh Mohammed Confesses: “I Killed Jesus!”

Ok so this is a kind of tongue in cheek humor, which is why i put it in Skunk Works.
Seeing how KSM has been in the "confessing" mood they can now blame him for just about every crime in history lol

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By Gary Corseri

3/17/07

Faux Fair-and-Balanced News Flash:

The confessed “mastermind” of the 9/11 attacks—“from A to Zed”—Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (KSM) has now confessed to scores of other crimes committed over the past two millennia.

Appearing distraught, head bloody and bowed, wearing the same t-shirt he has worn since his capture in Pakistan four years ago, with disgusting back and body hair even more unkempt than before, KSM’s new confessions have come fast and furious during a special hearing to determine the Sheik’s status as an “enemy combatant.”

In a shocking revelation, KSM described how, in a previous lifetime, incarnated in the body of Judas, he betrayed Jesus with a kiss on the cheek in the Garden of Gethsemane. “I knew what I was doing,” the Sheikh admitted. “You think I did it for 30 pieces of silver?” he spat contemptuously. “I knew what would happen. I had bigger objectives!”

Skipping through time, and rambling, the Sheikh admitted being Jack the Ripper in the 19th Century. “I got carried away,” he said sheepishly. “I really like women, and afterwards I felt sorry about it, and tried to stop. But it was like Al Pacino said in that bad Godfather movie: Everytime I tried to get out of it, they kept pulling me back!” (Here the Sheikh rendered a rather poor imitation of Mr. Pacino.)

I forget if it was Leno or Letterman but one of them showed his confession and said that somewhere, around number 28 or 29, he says "Who Let The Dog's Out? I did"

Funny stuff


this guy has taken the blame for a hell of a lot of things and some of the things he claims they worked on were way too close to home. Literally.

holy filthy felchers batman! That's a good one.

From the beginning of the release of the KSM "confessions", I haven't boughten into any of it, and the lunacy of this ranting really shines the spotlight on the credibility of the "Mastermind".

What a tool.

[edit on 3/17/2007 by Infoholic]

LMAO, i wish i wouldve seen that

Originally posted by Crakeur
I forget if it was Leno or Letterman but one of them showed his confession and said that somewhere, around number 28 or 29, he says "Who Let The Dog's Out? I did"