man. i mean, why didnt they say anything to me at all??
how do i know what just happened here and whos blood that is??
ok. so i went home.
i told you that i´m learning the turkish language currently.
and i told you that i have this imagination of one chestnut tree always covering and
the reason why i wanted to learn that language was because i have a strong allurement to
the turkish - lets just use the term - race.
maybe you heard of this tale: en.wikipedia.org...
and i have a strong emotional connection to dogs.
i also use to look a lot at trees. i like them or i think, they are actually beings.
today i looked at one, too and i "found" the word "nese" (speak nesche) in myself.
i looked it up and it appeared to be a turkish word, meaning vitality.
strange, isnt it?
my grandpa is actually in hospital and he´s in a real bad condition.
at around 3 / 4 pm an extraordinary strange feeling overcame, that he´s dying.
its 6:37 pm now and i still dont know if he´s alive or not, because at my home noone
would answer the phone.
ok, gotta go on.
somehow i like classical music, like mozart.
and because i did not wanted to go wild about on wether he just died or not, i further
chilled out and listened to classical music.
i was alone. and it appeared to me as if the music i was accidentaly listening to, because
i dont use to listen to that kind of music, is being played for a certain purpose.
i was on a real mind flow this time, i feeled like i have contact and i have to focus on
it. so they were talking to me. lots of conversation, i cant be specific. it was about our
human lives. one time i was in the city i feelt like someone was helping me to walk, like
some kind of assistance, it was just a feeling i had.
some parts of our conversation.
i feeled like i was talking to a "race", a group of beings and that there is one of them
being a "guide" or "helper" for me.
the last three or four years in my life were a little catastrophe for me, but nothing huge.
but i was just not "with me", maybe you know what i mean.
so they wanted to know where i have been the last time.
and i said i wouldnt know this, too.
and then they said, they missed me. and today i feeled like everything is just ok, as it
was all the years before, when i was young "and saw ufos" - being just with them.
with them as a guide, as a inner voice. as someone you can always hold on to.
ok, so i was still listening to that music and realized a lot of "things in and about
live". and for everything they "taught" me, there was the conformable music, sequences of
music, causing my moods, feelings and emotions that would teach me about live.
and i noticed their humor, you mentioned pretty much. it is extremely enjoingly.
i´d call their "humor" just brilliant and genius, somewhat perfect.
it so funny because i knew that they influence our all lives and "control" them.
i noticed the beauty in life, you can find if you just are sensitive enough.
our live is happy.
and our live is sad.
but our live is also very wonderful, full of wonders.
they see us as little ones and they know how it is for us, if we´re really in business with
our very own concerns.
i asked one question: what do i wait for in live?
but they "said" they would not answer it to me, as long as i would not no the reason, why i
can think or what is it good for.
do you remember, that i told you, they were asking me this and i didnt have a clue or #?
i still dont have it.
so they were keeping on letting me know how live works, how i think, how i feel and to that
moment i really considered my grandpa to be dead, because the feeling was so strange.
and as they mentioned the death of him - yes, THEY mentioned it. - i started to cry, as if
i would be on his funeral.