Death Star conspiracy theory

@ Mods (and others) : this is a mail i got from a work coleague , i posted this here as a "tension easer", not as some sort of provocation or lack of respect to any group/victims to other similar incidents in real life, feel free to move/delete (even if i'm perfectly aware you do not need my permission for it ) , still i personally found it to funny to not share it :

We’ve all heard the “official conspiracy theory” of the Death Star attack. We all know about Luke Skywalker and his ragtag bunch of rebels, how they mounted a foolhardy attack on the most powerful, well-defended battle station ever built. And we’ve all seen the video over, and over, and over, of the one-in-a-million shot that resulted in a massive chain reaction that not just damaged, but completely obliterated that massive technological wonder.

Like many Americans, I was fed this story when I was growing up. But as I watched the video, I began to realize that all was not as it seemed. And the more I questioned the official story, the deeper into the rabbit hole I went.

Presented here are some of the results of my soul-searching regarding this painful event. Like many citizens, I have many questions that I would like answered: was the mighty Imperial government really too incompetent to prevent a handful of untrained nerf-herders from destroying one of their most prized assets? Or are they hiding something from us? Who was really behind the attack? Why did they want the Death Star destroyed? No matter what the answers, we have a problem.

1) Why were a handful of rebel fighters able to penetrate the defenses of a battle station that had the capability of destroying an entire planet and the defenses to ward off several fleets of battle ships?

2) Why did Grand Moff Tarkin refuse to deploy the station’s large fleet of TIE Fighters until it was too late? Was he acting on orders from somebody to not shoot down the rebel attack force? If so, who, and why?

3) Why was the rebel pilot who supposedly destroyed the Death Star reported to be on the Death Star days, maybe hours, prior to its destruction? Why was he allowed to escape, and why were several individuals dressed in Stormtrooper uniforms seen helping him?

4) Why has there not been an investigation into allegations that Darth Vader, the second-ranking member of the Imperial Government, is in fact the father of the pilot who allegedly destroyed the Death Star?

5) Why did Lord Vader decide to break all protocols and personally pilot a lightly armored TIE Fighter? Conveniently, this placed Lord Vader outside of the Death Star when it was destroyed, where he was also conveniently able to escape from a large-sized rebel fleet that had just routed the Imperial forces. Why would Lord Vader, one of the highest ranking members of the Imperial Government, suddenly decide to fly away from the Death Star in the middle of a battle? Did he know something that the rest of the Imperial Navy didn’t?

6) How could any pilot shoot a missile into a 2 meter-wide exhaust port, let alone a pilot with no formal training, whose only claim to fame was his ability to “bullseye womprats” on Tatooine? This shot, according to one pilot, would be “impossible, even for a computer.” Yet, according to additional evidence, the pilot who allegedly fired the missile turned off his targeting computer when he was supposedly firing the shot that destroyed the Death Star. Why have these discrepancies never been investigated, let alone explained?

7) Why has their been no investigation into evidence that the droids who provided the rebels with the Death Star plans were once owned by none other than Lord Vader himself, and were found, conveniently, by the pilot who destroyed the Death Star, and who is also believed to be Lord Vader’s son? Evidence also shows that the droids were brought to one Ben Kenobi, who, records indicate, was Darth Vader’s teacher many years earlier! Are all these personal connections between the conspirators and a key figure in the Imperial government supposed to be coincidences?

8) How could a single missile destroy a battle station the size of a moon? No records, anywhere, show that any battle station or capital ship has ever been destroyed by a single missile. Furthermore, analysis of the tape of the last moments of the Death Star show numerous small explosions along its surface, prior to it exploding completely! Why does all evidence indicate that strategically placed explosives, not a single missile, is what destroyed the Death Star?


QUOTE (xxxxxx @ Mar 2 2007, 11:46 AM)
What I never understood was how did the Death Start get made? Looking at the flaws etc, it should never have been able to get past Audit checks. The number of lapses and operational flaws should have raised certain issues for amendment.


Correct - The 2 Henchmen in the Blast Tunnel were centainly not wearing the proper safety equipment when the "Death Beam" was fired at the peaceful plant of Dantooine. I did not see any eye protection or a harness of any kind. In fact the point of them being there in the first place baffles me!

QUOTE (xxxxx@ Mar 2 2007, 12:03 PM)
What about the canteen workers, the doctors and nurses, or IT support in their wee room downstairs? They all perished.

no need, any deaths or sickness were not tolerated and staff instantly dismissed using ray guns...

IT support was offshored to another planet "Plant Bangalore" or somewhere...

Canteen ladies? Huh!! Lunch is for wimps!!!



QUOTE (xxxxxx @ Mar 2 2007, 04:29 AM)
As brought up in a film once it's a bit sick that they were all cheering the destruction of the Death Star when as it was still in the construction and commissioning phase it must have been packed with contractors, plumbers, joiners, sparks etc just trying to make a bit of coin.

Do you realise how many sub-contractors were at work that day? Hardly any. Most of them mysteriously had other jobs on or called in sick.

And so on....

tbh, I hate forwarded crap.

However I think the best place to post this such thing would be in; www.belowtopsecret.com...

Apparently, this is the original source:

websurdity.com

Ever seen clerks? I thought it was humorous but it pisses me off it gets no credit. Needs to be in BTS anyway

Here is a humorous movie where Alex Jones compares 9/11 and the aftermath fall out to star wars.

video.google.com...

Personally I believe that the death star was blown up to destroy the evidance of the empire's plans to conquer the universe.

As was noted, in your post Hvitserk, Lord Vader escaped the destruction and is rebuilding his head quarters at an unknown location somewhere in the universe.


[edit on 6-3-2007 by In nothing we trust]

LMAO -- and Vader just happened to be out in a TIE fighter as the whole damned thing exploded from a single shot. I never realized it before, but you got me man.

Didn't they put Darth in charge of the 2nd Death Star attempt? HMMMMM!

thank you for your wise judgement

may i quote myself : this is a mail i got from a work coleague.
this is the point you should have stopped reading my forwarded crap and spent your precious time doing something else
as father Jack would say *bows down* " i'm soooo soooo sorry"

have a wonderful day

Originally posted by Hvitserk
thank you for your wise judgement

may i quote myself : this is a mail i got from a work coleague.
this is the point you should have stopped reading my forwarded crap and spent your precious time doing something else
as father Jack would say *bows down* " i'm soooo soooo sorry"

have a wonderful day

Father Jack! Isn't he a friend of Father Ted Crilly?

I hate that man! I should have won Priest of the Year Award.