The Perfect Person To Identify UFO Abductees!!!!

So I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'...............
So I says to myself, Self? Who would be the perfect person to ask about identifyin' a UFO abduction victim.

Hmmmm, the perfect person to identify a UFO victim......the perfect person.......

C'mon brain, let's do some good thinkin' and stuff.......

Hmmmmm..............

That homeless guy on the corner who's always yellin' and stuff for no reason? He's always screamin' that the end is near, and that he sees UFO's. I bet he could do some good identifyin'! Yeah, but he always calls everybody Satan, and all that chewed up food stuck in his beard is kinda funky...... Nope not perfect.

Richard Dreyfuss? Yeah! Like all those aliens came out and pulled him into that really cool UFO. I bet he could do some good identifyin'! Wait.....if he kept drawin those pictures of Devils Tower, or built a huge one in my livin' room out of a big pile of mud, I'd want to kill him. No way, not perfect.

Hmmmmm..................c'mon brain.................There's gotta be somebody..........


Hold on! I got it! Oh brain this is some really good thinkin'!!!!

The perfect person to identify a UFO abduction victim is a Proctologist!!!

Yep, I bet when those sneaky aliens do that probin' and stuff, that it would make you have to go to the Proctologist. Wait! I bet those Proctologists are actually 33rd Degree Mason, Illuminati! I bet they're all in cahoots with the government! Yep, I'm onto a big time conspiracy here! Proctologist? C'mon, it has to be a conspiracy! Out of every job in the world, who would want to specialize, well you know, "there". Eeeeewwww.
Oh brain, you're doin' some overtime thinkin' here!
Yep, it's all comin' together now....... Those proctologists get to see who was abducted, then tell the government about it!

Oh man, I gotta do some more thinkin' about this..............