How you can tell if you are a victim of abduction.

Sorry for interfering with your thread.

[edit on 25-2-2007 by LoneGunMan]

DISCUSSION MOVED TO PRIVATE FORUM. RESULTS TO BE DISPLAYED PUBLICLY WITH EVIDENCE OF DECISION.

[edit on 25/202/07 by Southpaw11]

All done.

Nothing to see here, move along

[edit on 25-2-2007 by LoneGunMan]

DISCUSSION MOVED TO PRIVATE FORUM.

PLEASE KEEP POSTING YOUR ANSWERS. LONEGUNMAN AND I HAVE A FUN AND INTERESTING DISCUSSION TO PURSUE... WE'LL REPORT BACK HERE WITH OUR FINDINGS.

SP

[edit on 25/202/07 by Southpaw11]

OKay, I am stepping in here to add my peice to the pie.

I received and email in error from Derrel Sims mail address to someone else. I wasn't going to post it or share it publicly because I just choose to back off with it.

But since this push and interest is getting so strong and widespread and since it is getting ugly between two of my friends on this thread I am going to copy and paste the email I received in error.

My name is not Jolene, I do not know who she is and I do not use Earthlink as my email provider. How this came to my email I don't know.

Take it to mean what you like, but it turned me off.

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To: "'Jolene'"
Subject: THE SHOOT
Date: Thu, 22 Feb 2007 13:18:15 -0800
Here is what it really is.
Wow.
I do the quick promo...but..then I sit in a directors chair at some auspicous locale, and act like the alien hunter...in my long black sleek coat, with a dark blue shirt, and answer questions on a feed to at least 20 other tv shows...on this market.
This interview style show will go on from midnight till 7 am...

You couldnt pay for a better advertising.

They gave me a bunch of questions off the cuff, to see how I would deal with it..
The director loved it...and Michael was glowing.

HHHHEHEHEHEHEH


Jo, you may want to market this to "others" in the UFO and radio tv area....let then know what is happening...
?
your call

Hawk

I did edit Jolene's email address name so she wouldn't be vulnerable. I did not edit Derrel Sims address out as his has already been posted here.



[edit on 25-2-2007 by interestedalways]

All I can say is WOW!

Have you considered that this email message could have been sent out intentionally to you so as to IMPRESS you and anyone else who sends a message to Sim's? Maybe they want everyone to think that they are movers and shakers BIG TIME in the world of public broadcasting so as to entice the gullible's out there to jump onto their bandwagon. I don't know, but am I misreading this? I don't think so. It's sort of like a 'Hollywood, here I Come' message and a totally contrived one at that! It's so transparent, it's laughable!

Whatever the case may be, these people must be totally removed from reality to intentionally send off such a message if that's what they are doing. I'm telling ya, nothing amazes me anymore.


[edit on 25-2-2007 by Palasheea]

Originally posted by interestedalways
OKay, I am stepping in here to add my peice to the pie.

I received and email in error from Derrel Sims mail address to someone else. I wasn't going to post it or share it publicly because I just choose to back off with it.

But since this push and interest is getting so strong and widespread and since it is getting ugly between two of my friends on this thread I am going to copy and paste the email I received in error.

My name is not Jolene, I do not know who she is and I do not use Earthlink as my email provider. How this came to my email I don't know.

Take it to mean what you like, but it turned me off.

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From: Send an Instant Message "DerrelWSims" View Contact Details View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
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To: "'Jolene'"
Subject: THE SHOOT
Date: Thu, 22 Feb 2007 13:18:15 -0800
Here is what it really is.
Wow.
I do the quick promo...but..then I sit in a directors chair at some auspicous locale, and act like the alien hunter...in my long black sleek coat, with a dark blue shirt, and answer questions on a feed to at least 20 other tv shows...on this market.
This interview style show will go on from midnight till 7 am...

You couldnt pay for a better advertising.

They gave me a bunch of questions off the cuff, to see how I would deal with it..
The director loved it...and Michael was glowing.

HHHHEHEHEHEHEH


Jo, you may want to market this to "others" in the UFO and radio tv area....let then know what is happening...
?
your call

Hawk

I did edit Jolene's email address name so she wouldn't be vulnerable. I did not edit Derrel Sims address out as his has already been posted here.



[edit on 25-2-2007 by interestedalways]

JOLENE's addy is posted too.

Folks. I know Derrel. Is THIS what this is all about? Do you understand what kind of opportunity he has right now to get his message out? People are FINALLY starting to take the blinders OFF and realize just WHO knows the MOST about this CHAOS that IS going on.

THIS email that everyone is now marvelling at... Is nothing more than a VERY good example of Derrel being excited about something REALLY EXCITING! You do realize he has NO corporate sponsors... pays for EVERYTHING HIMSELF... INCLUDING THE SURGERIES of the VICTIMS with whom he works.

And IA... I am soooo glad you posted this... but am COMPLETELY surprised that you did NOT ask me about it. In the future... KNOW that you can. LINES OF COMMUNICATION ARE OPEN.

If you have questions about Derrel Sims... about THAT specific email in fact.

Here...

281.893.1666. CALL HIM. Ask HIM about it. Instead of spreading rumors and scaring people... I think we can find a MORE PRODUCTIVE method of handling our fears. I for one, will help however I can... ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK.

Again, thanks for posting that. It's really NOT appropriate... but is actually a GREAT example of the simple sincerity these guys have demonstrated since the first day I met them. *sheesh*

The guy is PSYCHED b/c he's going to FINALLY be on TV... THE RIGHT WAY... and even THAT gets turned into a conspiracy AGAINST HIM.

And You guys REALLY think I'm NUTS about the Book of Job?

In THIS Matrix?

JOB = DERREL SIMS

Get BEHIND HIM. He has ANSWERS that are CRUCIAL to ALL OF YOU. I really hope against hope that you will see that light... He's done NOTHING but act genuinely... for FORTY YEARS NOW.

Also... go track down the "X Files" organization and ask THEM who THEY think the REAL "FOX MULDER" is. Want me to get all "psychic" on you?

They WILL tell you that DERREL SIMS IS THE MAN! PERIOD. I KNOW that because I've SEEN IT. So go do your homework. Heck, CALL THEM UP. I think his interview with the xfiles staff may even be on the new versions of the DVD... not sure about that though....

Folks... we are in a VERY dangerous time. Whether people want to know or admit it. It is TRUE. We need be VERY careful about "slingin' mud". Especially NOW. And especially from people who have ALREADY told me how much they thought of Derrel Sims... yikes. Let's communicate. Gotta help each other out here folks, or else we simply are NOT getting through.

Thanks.

Southpaw.

[edit on 25/202/07 by Southpaw11]

I've been reading your posts with some interest for the last day or so. I was actually prepared to enter into your research but a couple of things bother me.

1) That email for a start.
2) Your constant reference to the book of Job, and how you seem to think that anyone who is questioned closely and scrutinised is Job. Derrel Sims is the second person I've seen you put the name of Job on. Is that just some defence mechanism you've devised to stop people from wanting to investigate these people under close scrutiny? Frozenthought was questioned quite closely, and in the end it was shown to be justified. In the face of evidence against his claims, evidence in fact that supports that he is/was a hoaxer, you put the tag of Job on him, as if it was a bad thing to root these people out.

It seems to me, that you use the term Job as a defence mechanism, to make it look like a person is a victim, just because they are being scrutinised. That stops people from asking questions and is'nt helpful.

People who make extraordinary claims and seek attention on a large scale for whatever purpose, should expect to be scrutinised, and trying to label people as Job, just because they are having questions asked of them, and having their validity checked, is making me very skeptical about your cause.

My BS METER is rock-solidly PEGGED on the LOOK HOW DEEP ITS GETTING end of the scale.

In the following quoted post you CLEARLY present your MAD SKILLS as a MARKETER. You also point out your BUSINESS INVOLVEMENT with Saber Enterprises.

Posted by Southpaw11, on February 23, 2007 at 03:06 GMT

I recently left an exectutive post where I was responsible for increasing a company's gross revenue (via marketing) by MORE THAN $10,000,000.00 in ONE YEAR.[...]we have a Tactical Division that will be assisting Saber Enterprises (D. Sims) in their pioneering expedition work.

However in this quoted post, you state that you HOPE to be the security CONTRACTOR for Sims and his team. Sniff, sniff...what's that SMELL? Not SULPHUR, maybe quid pro quo?

Posted by Southpaw11, on 25-2-2007 at 01:08 AM

My Company is COMPLETELY autonomous of Saber. We do, however, hope to be the security contractor that escorts Sims and his Research Team on the expeditions they have planned for the ensuing year.

This thread is nearly nothing more than PRESS RELEASES.

I read your posts and their CALCULATED nature SCREAMS at me. I feel like I'm reading the back of a CEREAL BOX. Right down to the

careful

format

of

the

CLOSER.

DESPITE the wild HYPERBOLE you have provided nothing CONCRETE regarding the abduction experience. The HILARIOUSLY SLANTED survey questions don't count. You have relied on a tremendous amount oF INSINUATION, GOSSIP, HYPE, and frankly HYSTERIA, to generate some...FRENZY?

Repeatedly, you have stressed the importance of looking at all of the evidence, from all of the sources, rejecting no idea as bizarre...yet your aim is at odds with that philosophy.

Call Derrel Sims.

Email Derrel Sims.

Derrel Sims is the only one who can help.

The alienhunter is the guy.

You've totally rejected the work of all of the available researchers in this phenomenon? Isn't that in conflict with your advice to the readers here?

Disclaimer: The preceding is not the result of a "Screensaver" or "Programmed Memory" or any other such ho-hum.

Originally posted by Southpaw11
In response to survey

quote: Have you ever seen a "man in black"?

No, not really.

I've always really like this answer especially... "Not really". WHAT does that mean? It means YES, right? It may even be something you are NOT supposed to talk about... (meaning THEY may have given you a "suggestion" to NOT talk about it)

Couldn't it just be that the question invites one to 'have seen' MiB in the presumptive sense? ie. of course we have literally seen men in black clothes (dark suits etc) but do not think they were 'men in black' in the 'paranormal' sense. Hence : 'not really'. This may mean 'I can't say fror sure but probably not'.

Obviously, it's all further 'evidence' of abduction to you though (without, and this is important, any real critical analysis of the 'evidence').


Maybe the people who are telling you that you're too quick to jump to conclusions on this stuff are the 'real' 'Jobs'?



[edit on 26-2-2007 by granny smith]

So let me get this straight...

You really think that comparing similarities and differences in a dataset is revolutionary?

What do you think scientists do for a living?

Go market something else. All you're doing is hurting a cause that is quite important to many of us.

[edit on 26-2-2007 by seenitall]

Originally posted by seenitall
So let me get this straight...

You really think that comparing similarities and differences in a dataset is revolutionary?

NEGATIVE. I think THIS dataset that is BASED ON 40 YEARS OF RESEARCH is VALID. Have you reviewed his book? His site? Have you spoken for more than probably 100 WHOLE hours regarding Abduction, the individual cases, the TRAUMA these people have experienced, the FEAR that they live with daily?

Just to make sure we've seen the same evidence, and are on the same page.

SP

We are on the same page but you're ignoring the point.

I don't need to read anyones book.

You said yourself that youre doing something revolutionary by comparing simmilarities and differences in these accounts. I can't be bothered quoting. You're not worth the effort. It is what you said though, in your ever so CAPITALISED manner of discussion which IMO is completely one sided. You have already made up your mind.

WHAT DO YOU THINK SCIENTISTS DO WITH DATA SETS THROUGHOUT THEIR ENTIRE LIVES?

I don't care about this Simms guy or whoever the hell he is.

All I want is for people to make some damn sense. Sensationalism is a crock.

Originally posted by Blayde
I've been reading your posts with some interest for the last day or so. I was actually prepared to enter into your research but a couple of things bother me.

1) That email for a start.

What does that mean? Help me out here, bro... I listed an email so that people with QUESTIONS can talk to somebody with more answers than I've heard in HERE or ANYWHERE on the internet... How is this a worry? And I ask sincerely.

2) Your constant reference to the book of Job, and how you seem to think that anyone who is questioned closely and scrutinised is Job. Derrel Sims is the second person I've seen you put the name of Job on. Is that just some defence mechanism you've devised to stop people from wanting to investigate these people under close scrutiny?

NEGATIVE. And I understand your concern. I would probably think EXACTLY the same thing. It's not that "everybody" is JOB. It's more along the lines of: we live in a society that has an INTENSE aversion to looking at a "religious document" for ANY REASON. When someone brings the Bible up as a "scientific reference" people in here LAUGH. I advise you go "chat" with most cutting edge Quantum Physicists... HARDCORE SCIENTISTS... and ask THEM if it is really such a preposterous notion to consider the Bible a "scientif document". You MIGHT just be surprised with their response...

For instance... When I first met Derrel Sims, it SHOCKED ME when the guy who was clearing up ALL these CRAZY things from my youth and beyond... and I mean CLEARING THEM UP for me.... AND THOUSANDS OF OTHERS... NOTE: "clearing them up" does NOT imply a "happy ending" either... just so you are aware. It would be like remembering you were gangraped, in many cases. NOT KEWL.... anyway... it SHOCKED ME when he bowed his head and began to pray when we ate dinner together... THAT was MESSED UP. I asked about it. He suggested the Book of Job.

I read it. FOR THE FIRST TIME in my life... completely read it. Could not BELIEVE what I was reading.

See... this conversation is ONLY going to end in ME being CRUCIFIED by YOU b/c "Faith" has been tossed aside... exactly as it was fortold. If I am one that stands WITH FAITH... I am now considered to be the "weird one" b/c you ALL have become accustomed to ORGANIZED RELIGION = GOD... when... if you read Revelation... you even see Christ condemning organized religion USING THE SAME WORDS YOU DO. HMMMMMMMM....

See? We cannot reach resolution. Our core beliefs DIFFER. Not saying YOU in particular, because I have no idea what your faith is... but I can say this much: If I am in a place where merely referencing a biblical text in hope that people will STUDY IT IN CONTEXT ONLY.... is considered "bible beating"... then we are simply NOT going to make any progress b/c the "bible" is looked at as "skewed" and so, is tossed aside.

It would be the same thing if ANY of you brought ANY text in here that DID have evidence of UFOs or Grays or MIBs.... we'd have to consider it.

See... ATS is looking for the "smoking gun". I've got news for you folks. You KNOW UFOs are here. You KNOW Grays and Shadow People have been seen. You MUST complrehend that if YOU say "they are nuts"... that YOU are literally alligning YOURSELF... ALONE... with about 100,000 other people here on ATS... and THAT is ONLY if they ALL concur with you...

Those 100,000 are alligning themselves against LITERALLY MILLIONS... TENS OF MILLIONS of people around the globe who SINCERELY BELIEVE they are abductees.

Now... I imagine ATS folk are pretty compentent at math, right? Well... look at that... Statistics ALONE has to tell you that we are being "too picky" in here...

Look... don't believe little old ME:

100,000 ATS members TOGETHER say "NO... you are no abductee, those questions are stupid, Derrel could not have POSSIBLY INFILTRATED THEM...

yet...

20,000,000 AMERICANS ALONE according to a BBC Study MAINTAIN that they have been victims of abduction OR are "contactees" - those with the "warm fuzzy feeling" about ET.

100,000 at 100% conviction saying NO. IT IS NOT THERE

20,000,000 saying OH YES IT IS! YOU ARE BLIND!

HMMMMM.... And even though ATS is NOT the only place "Nonbelievers" congregate... TONS of believers are here too, no? Go figure.

Anything you can boil down to simple math is going to be found to be TRUE. VERY simple rule. VERY wise man told it to me a VERY long time ago.

Simple Math.

RESERVE JUDGEMENT

Frozenthought was questioned quite closely, and in the end it was shown to be justified. In the face of evidence against his claims, evidence in fact that supports that he is/was a hoaxer, you put the tag of Job on him, as if it was a bad thing to root these people out.

NO. What in the world are you talking about? YOU guys fire up yer fancy picture tweekin' software... produce some simply INCREDIBLE... truly... results... chit chat... test his mental state and claim he is FAKE b/c he's all aggitated?

You ever been a victim of VIOLENT CRIME you WILL admit exists? Do you KNOW the mental and emotional effects of this type of thing? And if NOT, then what the hell makes YOU or any else qualified to say ANYTHING other than

"As far as we can tell... this video appears to be a HOAX..." NOT finitely CALLING SOMEONE A LIAR. Do you NOT see this? Is this how you operate AT HOME? I doubt it. You all seem to be VERY GOOD PEOPLE with a COMMON INTEREST... TRUTH. HMMMMM.... go figure...

It seems to me, that you use the term Job as a defence mechanism, to make it look like a person is a victim, just because they are being scrutinised. That stops people from asking questions and is'nt helpful.

NO. PEOPLE stop THEMSELVES. NOT ME. I am NOT there moving arms and feet... It is merely a CHOICE that people are scared to make. NO WORRIES! I understand it.

People who make extraordinary claims and seek attention on a large scale for whatever purpose, should expect to be scrutinised, and trying to label people as Job, just because they are having questions asked of them, and having their validity checked, is making me very skeptical about your cause.

SCRUTINIZED. NOT CRUCIFIED. There is a distinct difference, my friend.

NO PROBLEM WITH VALIDITY DUDE. WOW. THAT is why the info is HERE for you to see. Get it?

[edit on 26/202/07 by Southpaw11]

All due respect...

I've done NOTHING but offer honesty in here. Did you call Derrel Sims and confirm anything I've posed here?

See I don't understand that.

FIRST... people say "give me information"

THEN... they say "NO. ONLY HYPERLINKS"

THEN... "YOU SMELL LIKE DOODOO"

This does NOT make any sense. Okay. Everybody throw down their resumes... bank statements.... credit limits... and all that crap. Isn't that what you are REALLY saying? How big is your truck?

Well... I drive 2006 Toyota Tundra... FOUR DOOR...

AND

I OWN IT. MINE. Which means PAID FOR. Just as an example.

WHO CARES! START GIVING A DAMN ABOUT EACH OTHER AND STOP PLAYING THESE STUPID GAMES OF CRUCIFIXION.

It looks REALLY terrible all over all of you.... And it's awful to see.

Statements about our "security" company? Gimme a break. WHO are YOU Mr Wizard? Step on out into the light...

See... this is what happens here... someone posts something legititmate. Then the vultures move in. You effectively create a MOB mentality... and you don't even KNOW that YOU are the reason these people get so defensive... perhaps they are "lying" or "hoaxing"... whatever you wanna call it

But YOU will never know... because of THIS. I don't have a damn thing to prove to ANYONE in here. Neither do YOU. Perhaps if we all realized THAT we'd start reviewing the EVIDENCE TOGETHER. Like investigators. NOT like a MOB trying to stone some poor person to death.

I suppose the the 3 M4s, Remington 870, the 12 SigSauer pistols, all the FUGITIVE RECOVERY badges, and gear that the guys grab outta MY house when we go to work is all in my imagination too, right?

How bout the roster of 2000 hardcore adjusters that my DCO (Director of Catastrophe Operations) has as his FORCE? THAT imagination TOO? Is the USMC Det in Mobile a DREAM? And the unit CO there is NOT really my business partner?

WOW.

THANKS MAN. YOU ARE SOOOOO SMART. I would not have figured out that my whole life is a DILLUSION if not for some presumptuous, internet "voice" from thousands of miles away that I can't see, smell, touch, or hear... BUT... THAT person MUST KNOW.... because THAT makes WAY MORE SENSE.

Man. I should just go jump off a bridge or somethin' cuz YOU GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT, DONCHA, MR WIZARD?

HA!

This is stupid.

Things move quickly when you're not around for a few days.

Anyway, i replied to the questionnaire thingy just for grins since I knew I'd not be within the parameters of a possible abductee and one of the questions I replied "not sure" to related to ancestry. I wanted to go back and find a link or two to back up my response and here's what I've come up with-

resourcesforhistory.com...

Pretty interesting interactive map. You can click on a couple of different icons and see based upon a timeline what constituted Celtic areas.

Looks like for all intents and purposes, if you can claim any Northern European ancestry at all, you could likely be of Celtic stock.

Italy and Spain look to be excluded, but what with wandering and plundering tribes, who knows at this point who crawled into whose hut 2000 years ago?

I'm a mongrel. I'm highly confident of that. And I'm even more confident I've never been abducted. And maybe that just further builds the case.

Or not.

Originally posted by yeahright
Things move quickly when you're not around for a few days.

Anyway, i replied to the questionnaire thingy just for grins since I knew I'd not be within the parameters of a possible abductee and one of the questions I replied "not sure" to related to ancestry. I wanted to go back and find a link or two to back up my response and here's what I've come up with-

resourcesforhistory.com...

Pretty interesting interactive map. You can click on a couple of different icons and see based upon a timeline what constituted Celtic areas.

Looks like for all intents and purposes, if you can claim any Northern European ancestry at all, you could likely be of Celtic stock.

Italy and Spain look to be excluded, but what with wandering and plundering tribes, who knows at this point who crawled into whose hut 2000 years ago?

I'm a mongrel. I'm highly confident of that. And I'm even more confident I've never been abducted. And maybe that just further builds the case.

Or not.

OUTSTANDING!

NOW THAT is how we ALL need to start looking at this.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE.
Do you really think it's just going to come and "show itself" to you, me, or anybody?

QUESTION EVERYTHING
Do you really believe this is just a "kewl bumpersticker", or could there be a deeper meaning, rooted within your GENETICS perhaps... that is simply CRYING OUT?

THIS IS THE OPEN MIND.
THIS IS RESERVATION OF JUDGEMENT
THIS IS WHAT IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE!

OUTSTANDING JOB! Looks like you're a brother of mine afterall, eh?

Yeah... it COULD BE just that easy...

THIS IS THE OPEN MIND.
THIS IS RESERVATION OF JUDGEMENT
THIS IS WHAT IT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE!

nice advice but do you honestly think that your approach in this and other threads really represents the embodiment of such values? (genuine question)

It seems that you demand from others what you are unwilling to deliver yourself. If I was to storm around the board shouting "ALIENS ARE NOT HERE AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE FAILS TO REALISE THAT i AM jOB - OR CASSANDRA OR SPARTACUS OR WHATEVER ....." you would rightly castigate me for closed mindedness, not reserving judgement etc.. What's the difference when the shoe is on the other foot?. Is 'keeping an open mind' the same thing as 'accepting everything Southpaw says is true' in your book?


[edit on 26-2-2007 by granny smith]

Are you of Irish, Celtic, or Native American descent? YES

Are you adopted? NO

What "monsters" were in your room as a kid? USED TO SEE SMALL CHILDREN A LOT; USED TO TELL MY PARENTS I'D SEEN ALIENS

Have you ever seen a "bigfoot"? NEVER

Have you ever seen a "man in black"? NO

Have you ever seen an "alien"? I BELIEVE I HAVE

Have you ever seen a "red eyed guy with a black cloak"? NO

Have you ever seen "shadow people" or "watchers"? NO

Have you ever seen a "Nordic"? I BELIEVE THAT THE ALIENS I'VE HAD CONTACT WITH HAVE HAD HUMAN APPEARANCE BUT ONLY AS A DISGUISE.

Do you have an unusual affinity with animals? DEPENDENT ON SPECIES

Have you ever noted unexplained puncture wounds on your body? YES

Have you ever noted unexplained red splotches or spots on your body? YES CONSTANTLY

Have you ever noted unexplained "scoops" out of your skin anywhere on your body? NO

Do you have a neck injury at the T3 or immediate surrounding area? NO

Do you have a back injury at the L5/S1 or immediate surrounding area? NO

Do you ever see owls? NO

Have you ever seen pink phorphorescent lights? NO

Have you ever seen a UFO? YES BUT ONLY TWICE

Whether you've seen a UFO or not, do you feel "aliens" are here to "help us"? Why? IN SOME WAYS YES, I BELEIVE THERE ARE SEVERAL RACES WITH SEPERATE AGENDAS. POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE.

Have you ever detected the scent or odor of SULFUR or BURNT MATCHES, SOGGY CARDBOARD, MOLDY LEATHER in your home? YES

Have you ever detected unexplained bruising on your body? NO BUT MY GIRLFRIEND DOES, FREQUENTLY. THEY ONLY SEEM TO MATERIALISE AT NIGHT. SHE OFTEN REPORTS THAT SHE CAN REMEMBER 'FIGHTING' WITH SOMETHING TO TRY AND PROTECT ME IN HER DREAMS.

Have you ever experienced "missing time"? YES ONCE

Are you unusually empathetic and/or compassionate? ECCESSIVELY

Do you ever get the feeling there is "someone there"? CONSTANTLY

Have you ever noted things out place, when you KNOW they were "placed correctly"? OCCASIONALLY ALTHOUGH I'D OFTEN PUT THIS DOWN TO ME BEING SOMEWHAT SCATTERBRAINED!

Ever wake up with your clothes on backward? NO I SLEEP 'NEKKID'

With your shoes on the wrong feet? NOPE

In the wrong bed? YES BUT THIS CAN BE ATTRIBUTED SOLELY TO ALCOHOL!

In the wrong house? SEE ABOVE

Ever develop a pattern of waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning? USED TO, NOT SO MUCH NOW AS I'M USUALLY TOO APPRENHENSIVE TO GO TO BED BEFORE THOSE HOURS ANYWAY. I CAN ONLY SLEEP WHEN I CAN'T PHYSICALLY STAY AWAKE FOR LONG>

Ever have dreams so vivid you wonder if they were real? YES BUT SURELY EVERYBODY HAS

Ever recall scents or odors from "dreams"? NOT THAT I REMEMBER

Do your Parents or Grandparents have UFO stories to tell? NO

Do you ever have "endtimes" visions, many times with the wrong scenario, wrong dates, etc? YES

Do you have strange or unwarranted fear or phobia of Clowns, Racoons, Midgets, Children? CHILDREN

Do you ever hear noises on your roof in the middle of the night? MY GOD YES

Have you ever seen ghosts of loved ones? NO NOBODY CLOSE TO ME HAS EVER DIED

Men
Have you ever detected a "lumplike" object attached to your right testicle? OR lacerations or bleeding on the scrotum AFTER the event? YES

Women
Have you ever been pregnant and had the fetus simply disappear?

Last night I threw two socks in the dryer along with a few shirts. Today when I woke up there was only one sock in there. ETs playing pranks on me crap