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Anna Nicole Smith Awarded Sainthood By SubGenius UFO Cult

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posted on Feb, 16 2007 @ 12:19 PM
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(OPENPRESS) February 16, 2007 -- The Church of the SubGenius has awarded posthumous Sainthood to late performer and actress Anna Nicole Smith.

The Church acknowledged Miss Smith's fey, outrageous lifestyle and agreed that it meets its standards for Sainthood. Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs laid down a set of rules for members of the Church to live their lives, and Miss Smith's life has met the following criteria:

1. She spent her life Slacking Off, and did not conform to the expectations of others.
2. She achieved fame and fortune not through hard work or intelligence, but basically through dumb holy luck.
3. As seen from her many photos and TV appearances, she ate the hell out of her fair share of cheeseburgers. This meets the definition of a SubGenius commandment: "Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it!"
4. She was martyred by the "Pinks" (a SubGenius term referring to "normal people"), after being crucified in the press.
5. Like Saint Mary Magdalene of the Catholic Church, her child is a "Son of Man". Unlike Mary, who claimed that no mortal was the father of her child, it seems as though every male (and perhaps a few female) mortals are claiming to be the father of her child. The Church uses this as the basis for its prediction that Miss Smith's child shall be a prophet of the SubGenius.
6. The Church of the SubGenius encourages wholesome sexuality, which Miss Smith exuded to excess (at least during her prime years).


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Added 'ex' tags for external material and shortened cut/paste

[edit on 16/2/07 by masqua]




posted on Feb, 16 2007 @ 03:18 PM
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Frank Zappa's dead? Man, I missed that....

But, his legacy of hilarious child names will live on...(Dweezil, Moon Unit, Motorhead? LOL)

Today's celbs can only come up with "Apple", "Scout", or other such nonsense, but Frank....well, he was sheer SubGenius...



posted on Feb, 16 2007 @ 03:38 PM
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Alright everyone, this is getting a little out of hand.

Sainthood?

This is bordering on 'the rediculous' to 'frig sakes'.

I feel bad for her young baby left behind.

It will be some time before her child grows up and will have to sift through all the media crap to get to know her 'real mom'.

Hopefully there'll be a half-decent relative/friend that will have the REAL inside scoop about Anna, to PROPERLY convey her life.

Unfortuneatly, for the next while, everyone and their dog will $capitalize$ on her death/life.

Such is the way of hollywood and some media.



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