Advice Please, I need Advice

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posted on Apr, 26 2007 @ 12:26 AM
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Shar,

I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through. Please consider counseling go by yourself if he refuses. Also, you might consider going back to school. You can get your degree online through many different schools. Suceeding in school will give you a sense of confidence as well as job skills. When you feel confident it will show and can only help your marriage. He will have to take action if he wishes to regain your trust but you also have to be willing to let him earn it. Saying I'm sorry only counts if you avoid committing the same offense over and over again. Be very very clear to him that you will not tolerate any further cheating or lying and make the consequences of those actions clear and be ready to follow through.

Most important however, remember you have the right to be happy but only you can make you happy. Your husband is not responsible for your happiness you are.

Best of luck. I'll pray for you.




posted on Apr, 26 2007 @ 12:40 AM
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Well right now were together. As if nothing ever happen. I'm pretty easy to get along with.

I ask two things of him. Don't cheat on me and don't lie to me if you do.

If he can't respect that then were not meant to be together. This last time I couldn't prove he did anything wrong. It was my suspicion. I don’t want to leave over something that isn’t real. Not the way I love him anyways. And of course he says and acts like he loves me.

At the same time I will not blind my self to any thing he does. I will not say he didn’t do something when I know he did.

Just give me the respect that I deserve and in return he’ll get respect from me. Honor our marriage vows that we took.

If he can’t he knows how to tell me. There’s always a court that will honor divorce. More than anything from him. I hate being lied too. Lying to me, is taking me for a fool. Talk to me straight up is what I ask for. That shouldn’t be too hard, for anyone.

I am just hoping it will work out. I don’t think my heart can go through it again. He has crushed my heart into a million pieces too many times. I don’t want to go through it again. I have to say though if I catch him cheating he’s the one in trouble not the woman. Most men who cheat tells the other women he’s divorce or something like that she’s an innocent stupid partaker.

I told my mother years ago I was scared of marrying him cause he was a child without a dad. His mother slept with a married man and had that relationship with this married man forever. I believe they still talk even. His wife knows nothing about it. My husband hasn’t even met his half brothers and sisters.

No my mom told me he wouldn’t cheat. He’s lived through it and won’t don’t it. *laugh* yeah right. He has cheated and lied to me. He just best not do it again. Not if he wants to stay married to me anyways.

Yeah it will hurt to divorce him. It will hurt like no other pain. At the same time though I can’t allow him to go sleep around with whom ever he wants to and bring home whatever he wants to me. No I am with one man and I expect him to be with one woman. This is what he promised in the beginning.

He swears he hasn’t cheated on me since that one time and he swears it was an accident. It didn’t mean anything and he loves me. Well this time he better be telling the truth. Cause I am about out of tears.



posted on Apr, 26 2007 @ 12:49 AM
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Well spoken Shar


Assuming you will not let this go in circles again, the only problem I forsee is another case where you have concerns but no 'evidence'. That's going to take its toll on you, too. How many of those are you willing to overlook?



posted on Apr, 26 2007 @ 01:05 AM
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Well, if he was talking to me correctly and telling me things up front then I shouldn’t have suspicion. Don’t put the spirit of jealously upon me and there won’t be any. Communicate with me.

It’s when he say’s one thing and dang-gone-it you know he’s lying to you. There’s where the trouble will come in at. It starts with a lie. I still though to this day can’t figure out why he told me he’s was at Wal-Mart when he was having lunch with two co-workers. I just can’t figure out why he lied. I’m willing to let it go though. I’m trying here. I only hope he is.

The last time was Feb 13. If he’s cheating and lying he’ll stumble again. I’ll probably be back on here crying all over again. Although I hope not.

Honestly, if he does cheat it tells me one thing. Our marriage is over and time for me to move on. I want to say I’ll move on to another man. Find someone else I can love and loves me. But in all honesty I don’t think I would. I don’t see my self with any other man period. I just couldn’t image it. I don’t even want to think about that.





 
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