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Everything I Believed is a Lie, Please Help Me

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posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 08:08 PM
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I can’t take it anymore, I need to get this off my chest and I don’t think people will understand me anywhere else. The more I research everything, the more I read and the more I learn, the less I can believe in anything. I had so many theories, so many ideas on how the world works. I had beliefs about politics, religion, humanity, everything. I had a thirst for knowledge, I have an inherent need to learn more, to know everything I can. I try to base everything I believe and all the ideas I follow off of knowledge and not ignorance. I’ve eaten from the Tree of Knowledge and I can never go back to the blissful dreamlike ignorance enjoyed by the rest of the world.

I thought education would teach me the answers I hoped to find. I thought I would expand my knowledge of the world and be able to change it for the better. But even from a young age I realized I was being fed politically corrected tripe. All the history I was taught was a lie, the ethics I was taught were just wishful thinking. The future I was promised was a fantasy.

I was recently baptized, I finally joined a church after years of individual spirituality that was generally Christian based. I thought I should study the Bible and increase my knowledge of my new found religion, I thought it would bring me closer to God. However, the more I studied the more I realized the church taught lies. I realized their dogma and traditional doctrines were not based off the Bible at all but politics and carefully administered ignorance on the part of the followers. Now I can’t help but deny the singularity of the Trinity, a fundamental Christian belief. There is no way I can accept the one baptism spoken of in the Nicene Creed. I thought I would find comfort and possibly salvation in religion and all I found was more darkness and deceit.

I once understood my stance on politics, I was a die hard patriotic American. I loved the country my family had helped build. I defended the country my fore fathers had spilt their blood for. But the more I read, the more I learned and understood about what really goes on, the less I can believe in what I previously believed in. The more I know, the more I feel as though my fore fathers suffered and killed for nothing, they were deceived and fought the wrong enemy.

I thought there was good in people. I thought that deep down inside everyone was good, they wanted peace and love for the human species. I was wrong. Deep down inside, everyone is motivated by hatred, greed and fear. From the playground to the grave we are scratching and gnawing at each other like rats, trampling over those around us to get ahead. We see innocence and lust for it’s corruption. We instill hatred and fear in our children and then exploit them whenever possible. We throw our parents into homes and await their death to claim their possessions as our own. The exploitation of weakness is the greatest rule of mankind.

I once thought that good people shine like stars in the darkness of hatred and corruption that is life on this God forsaken planet. The more I embraced these good people, the more I sought to learn from them, the more I realized they are ignorant and self deluded, always striving to protect their delicate hold on reality. The more I tried to do good, to help others, the more I was taken advantage of and the worse my life got.

I thought that if I worked hard, was honest and minded my own business I would get ahead. People sought to get one over on me every chance they got. I thought that your position in life and the money you were paid was based on your talent and knowledge but everyone I have worked for has been completely incompetent and foolish. I thought I could save my money and make a nice life for myself but I learned that the true purpose of money was to keep us all in servitude to the elite few.

I thought our leaders were our leaders because they represented our desires, because they were qualified to lead. Nothing can be farther from the truth. All our leaders, from our teachers to our president are fools who lord their power over us and keep us in ignorant darkness to secure their position of power.

I had once thought that we, as a species, would overcome our hatred and violence. That one day we would unite together in peace and leave this planet to do good in unity with the rest of the species in our universe. I was wrong. Humans are a brutal, sadistic, warlike race of conquerors and the universe would be better off without us. We do nothing but kill and destroy. We trample on the weak and poison the planet all in the name of progress. We will unite, one day, under an iron fist of control and venture forth into the darkness of space to conquer, kill and poison.

The world is a dark, brutal place completely lacking in love and compassion. We love only violence, power and money. We spit on the poor, sick and helpless. We idolize the greedy and insane. We seek to emulate only the worst of human traits and reward those that are best at it. We fear anything that is different and seek it’s destruction. Kind words of love and compassion warm our hearts but vicious words of hatred and violence move us to action.

I can no longer believe in anything. All my endeavors, everything I have done in my life is completely futile. We are nothing in the macrocosm, an individual human can have no impact on the reality around them. We struggle, fight and strive for something better but in the end all we have to show for it is a stone with our name on it placed over our rotting corpse. The greatest hindrance to mankind is man itself. From the time that man learned to make and use tools we have been using it to crush the skull of our neighbor.

I don’t know what to do anymore, everything I have thought or believed in was a lie. Any place I hope to find answers proves to yield nothing but darkness and deceit. Every word of encouragement or hope has been hollow and without foundation. Everyday I look for something to prove that I’m wrong and everyday these feelings are strengthened. Everywhere I turn I’m reminded that I was wrong all along and was foolish to believe the way I had. The world I live in is one of eternal emotional winter and solitude and all I can do is await Ragnarok and hope for freedom.

I’m posting this here because I don’t know who else to talk to anymore. This community is the only one that will understand the way I see the world and if there is someone with the honesty and brain power to prove to me that I’m wrong I will find them here. This is the only place I can find people not blinded by the dogma and superstition of this planet. I would give almost anything to dwell in the ignorance and self delusion of those I see around me but I know I can never go back. Where do you turn when you’ve lost your faith in everything, when you’ve become almost completely nihilistic? What do you do when there’s no reason to try and live and succeed in this world anymore? When you feel as though everything you do is in vain and there is no hope in changing this world? What am I supposed to do when all I want is to burn it all to the ground?

I had to get that all off my chest, I had to know someone knew how I truly felt about everything. If I try and talk to friends or family I only succeed in depressing them. Please feel free to share your thoughts with me, I won’t criticize any viewpoint but I will speak my mind. I just don’t know what to do anymore.




posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 08:20 PM
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Sounds like you have come to terms with the reality of the world, ive had similar thoughts as of late, you should give yourself a pat on the back most people go through their entire lives not learning as much about the truth as you have.

i guess the only thing possitive humanity has collectively is love for each other, and the instinctual protection of our own blood, allthough we have a funny way of showing it, i would expect the only thing we have ourselves in life is the hope that our words thoughts and feelings can inspire hope and progress into creating a world that was better than the reality we had to live in.

but dont fret about it pal, put your feelings down, i wouldnt think you are alone in your sentiments at all, i feel the same on alot of similar issues.

as i said, pat yourself on the back most people live for alot longer than i would guess you have and dont develop half as many conclusions.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 08:21 PM
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Have you tried looking at the spiritual warfare side of things?
www.spirithome.com...

I am not saying this is the answer but if elements are there you may see how they fit into your state of mind and maybe events in your life that led you to this show patterns to why you doubt everything. It's a struggle we all step off the mark. Also if you believed in religion try and disprove your religion, i know people who try do end up having faith, look at historical evidence side of things or the spiritual side and prophesy. Look at all prophecies of all religions and do they fit in which is more accurate and why?

We all doubt and I have been down that path. If God exists ask him tell him to show even a little sign so that you can not prove to anyone that it worked so in a way it does effect history unless God inspires you to see.

Instead of feeling dragged down use it, ok religion and man's nature has been a lie, ok channel that use knowledge to help prove the world is a stupid place but you will find many roads ahead but don't stop here take another turn even the roads up mountians the awkward ones.

[edit on 12-2-2007 by The time lord]



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 08:35 PM
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Welcome to the real world my friend. Glad to see another soul has made the journey.

Now that you realize that everyone and every thing around you is pretty much what they want you to see, instead of reality, you can start dealing with the really important issues, such as yourself.

These are just a few words from a fellow travelor so take them or leave them as you must.

Your life really is all about you. No one else is going to lose sleep over your happiness, even though many will lie and say they do. They're just trying to guilt trip you back into the fold.

Happiness is a choice. Thats all it is. Choose to be happy and have a positive outlook on life and things will begin to make more sense as you go.

Don't allow hate to be a part of your life. If you can avoid it, don't even allow it to be a part of your vocabulary. Hate is the thief of time, it steals from you the moments you could be making your life a better place.

Accept that the world is not the place you were raised to believe it is, but do not turn your back on what beauty is present in the day to day world we live in. It is a beautiful world, full of heroism and charm, if only you will look for it and not dwell on the negative.

Your life is a reflection of your perspective on it. If you go around seeing things as being terrible then they inherently will be.

Choose to be happy and I promise, The path you have taken will lead to more wonder and excitement than I can tell.

[edit on 12-2-2007 by mrwupy]



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 08:43 PM
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It's quite a shock to see you post this tonight, I have been having the same feelings and have discussed this with my lovely wife.

It is understandably (is that a word?) upsetting to start asking questions and finding answers you didn't expect to find.

I have experienced the same, but isn't it funny that as soon as you do a little digging, how many of your firmly held beliefs get challenged.

It is mindboggling to say the least, but I think of it as catching up on reality.

Remember one thing, you are an individual and you have one mind, and you are now using it to absorb the information at hand, and you will formulate your own (now more enlightened) opinions in your response to your research.

Don't checkout because your old sense of the world is gone, and never stop thinking there is GOOD in most people, because you are correct in that assessment, they are everywhere, just not where you believed they were.

Hang in there, take a break and try to learn one thing at a time and if you get to feelin this way again just remember, JacKatMtn is going through the same and still gettin "bug eyed", trying to learn more.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 08:52 PM
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I feel exactly as you do.
I have no idea anymore on what I should do.
I really dont care anymore about anything, everything seems so unimportant and ppl do not seem to realize what is going on around them.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:00 PM
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Some people go the opposite way where they feel cheated in life; it's pointless we are just microbes evolved and no love to be found in mankind or no need to care about anything what is the point? But you can break things up mathematically ask things on a psychological level or in patterns of order of this universe or earth. Does this universe have laws? If so why, who says what is wrong and what is right what are laws? Why does something that looks wrong translate, as something that is not right why does something look beautiful looks nice there must be an order to it?

Or you could be say well religion does not allows you to not take indivual responsibility of your actions as you are forgiven and that shows you have no control over your thoughts or guilt. That can be the case but we all need a guide to point us up when we grow up and there is no shame and people read magazines for help or the Internet to find some morality. These days it seems the smarter people in this world who know about science or history end up believing because to them they have found the unexpected proof enough to change their minds how ever the never believed. But on the otherhand priests have failed due to not going deep enough and decided it's all wrong.

The choice is yours which path to take maybe take elements of the good things in life and defeat the negatives. People who have been victims of injustice try and make use of that experience rather than be defeated. Use it as a weapon make a discussion, you prove to the believers they are wrong challenge it and fight in the ring otherwise you may getting your self-beat up. It’s good to let it out but explain why so people see they are not arguments for the sake of being spiteful.


[edit on 12-2-2007 by The time lord]



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:01 PM
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Although Mr. Wupy, you have answered in such an elegant manner I wish to leave the OP with only these words:

"We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spirits having a human experience."

We must first unlearn before we can ever truly learn. There is the greatest difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Welcome to your journey.

AAC



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:02 PM
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Yep welcome to the real world, the truth is that everyone one is looking out for themselves and every now and then you will meet people who are an exception to the rule but eventually everyone must look for their own benefit. just remember that if you have kids they come before you



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:05 PM
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^^^ Deeper.

Reread entire thread. Over & over. Emerson says, "My words will itch in your ear until you're ready to hear them."

AAC



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:17 PM
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So Holden Caufield has realized that he can't be the catcher...the conflict between moral man and immoral society, the corruption of innocence. Then comes the realization that you really can't save the world or find truth, you can only try to do what's right for you and a small group of family and friends...live life, do things that make you happy, and stop worrying.

With your current views, you might want to look into Buddhism if you want a religion that is more about life and philosophy than politics, and one that seems to agree with some of the things you are saying...but above all, maybe take a break from the conspiracy theory boards, be skeptical of everything you are reading, don't take life too seriously, and try to have some fun while you're around.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:23 PM
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I hope you can reply even to tell me to shut up or say ok thanks for your help or update how you feel. Just wondering what the effect of our input is.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:45 PM
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May God help your soul (and anyone else's) when he returns...



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:47 PM
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Shadowflux,

Get away from the city for a while. Get away from people for a while. Go out into the country and surround yourself with the beauty of nature. Drink it in, in silence. Sometimes we need time alone with the real...the natural. Begin there to seek the truth.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:47 PM
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hey shadowflux....everything you have said describes what i have been thinking for a few years now. everyone i work with and my family and friends are completely caught in this matrix we live in. i feel totally alone in the things i know about what is going on in the world. but i am slowly trying to let them in on this. if i tell them everything all at once they would have me committed. but plant a seed here and there and let it grow. if it is meant to be they will also be free of these chains. but i believe that i have been given a gift. just know that what you see and hear in this world is physical. you are spiritual. you spirit is awake now and is beginning to understand it is in a physical realm. you are not alone. people just like the ones here on ats are realizing this. some may not understand this at first but learn that this is our spirit that is trying to deal with this new birth. you are no longer seeing with physical eyes. others that are with us are the children because the lie has not gotten its fingers into their minds yet. but these days the youngest ones are the main target. i think we now have to choose which side of the fence we want to be on. its a battle. if we try to hang on to both worlds we will lose both. believe this that christ came to warn us of this lie that has decieved the world. do not put your faith in religion because that is one of the things that he warned against. there are people all around me that call themselves christians but are not. i believe that they are part of the anitchrist. decieved. you have been given a chance to escape this prison. if you ever need anything ill be around.



[edit on 12-2-2007 by Funkydung]



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:53 PM
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Originally posted by Funkydung
plant a seed here and there and let it grow. if it is meant to be they will also be free of these chains.


Plant those seeds, plant them with abandon. For once a seed takes root, nothing, not even a slab of concrete, can stop it from reaching for the light.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 09:58 PM
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Wow. It's really nice to see that so many people here agree with you shadowflux. I am on their side as well, welcome to the club
. That being said, it seems you are looking for advice mostly, as well as finding a group of like-minded individuals.
When the reality of things really sat in for me, I was highly suicidal. But somewhere in me something clicked, and I thought to myself "If I do anything to myself, it's one less person on the planet wanting things to change." So how do I do it?
In my pursuit of knowledge of how to change things, I've encountered a few select books that have "lifted me out of my darkness". Daniel Quinn, Derrik Jensen, Thom Hartmann. Good books, but even reading them, there were still points where I came to the conclusion that "we're #ed". It's very distressing and depressing.
When I get to feeling like that though, I've trained myself to "fall back" into myself, and think "hey, this isn't making me happy. I should quit thinking about this" and I try to find something else to think about. It took me about 3 years, but now I can shut that feeling down almost instantly.
My secret?
I ran across a cd. It's by a band called CKY. The title gave me a motto for ever situation I have a hard time with when it comes to dealing with the world.

Infiltrate. Destroy. Rebuild.

It's all I can do. Any of us can do I guess. It doesn't matter if we are high up in a company, working on our own land, or just flipping burgers. We have children and give our ideas to them, and stay true to what we believe regardless of how bad it seems. Eventually, we be able to make a difference.
Can you imagine what the world right now would be like if the "hippies" wouldn't have given up? You could add thier numbers to the current opposition of the wrongs of the world, instead of subtract them. We might even be in a better place.

You just gotta hold on to what you KNOW is right in your heart. WE may never see the results of our "faith", but our grandchildren will have a better chance than us.

I hope this helps you heal your mind at least a little shadowflux. Hopefully something I say touches more than just you


Peace.



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 10:03 PM
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Welcome to the journey my friend.

It is people waking up like yourself that gives me hope for us all.

You can only find the answers from within, you have them all.

Forgiveness and unconditional love for all is where you need to direct your journey. mr wupy has beat me to the best points, the only thing I would like to add is.

Namaste


P.S. There is a book titled "The disappearance of the Universe" by Gary Renard that can point you in the right direction. Another is "A Course in Miracles" I forgot the names of the authors of that one, but its published by Hay house and can be found anywhere.

[edit on 12-2-2007 by LoneGunMan]



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 10:10 PM
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Shadowflux,
I dont know what to tell you, but what you experienced is the real world.
Don't be so depressing, and life is not all that bad. Relax for a while and be ready to deal with whatever to come.
Good luck to you.
And yeah, you should talk to us whenever you want, because here is the community that will always support you. Cheers



posted on Feb, 12 2007 @ 10:13 PM
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Sounds as if you're experiencing sensory overload — you're wasting your mental bandwidth on mundane conspiracies, gossip and bogus "issues," feeding too much BS into your mind, and now it's regurgitating the putrid mess as unacceptable. And it is unacceptable. Your false perception of the world has finally offended your common sense, and it's time for a showdown.

Fortunately, the remedy is simple and it's free, in the truest sense of the word. Just stop watching TV, stop listening to radio, and stop surfing the myriad outlets of disinformation on the Web. These are the primary sources of The Big Lie that your mind is rejecting.

Vomit up all the hokum that is polluting your mind, and refuse to participate in the game anymore. Take your camping gear and go backpacking for a few weeks (months) without the deluge of disinformation — take yourself off the grid and engage in living, rather than thinking about living.

You'll be amazed at how your optimism and lust for life is rejuvenated.

— Doc Velocity




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