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"We don't know how He does it," said Landover Junior High School teacher, Mrs Doris Whitaker, "but Jesus changes the colors of the leaves on the trees during the Fall (a season named after the fall of man from Eden, which had no autumn colors). No science book will tell you that. But it is clear that Jesus is behind the pretty colored leaves that drop off the trees as piles of trash on your lawn! Why else are only the Christmas trees left green? So they can be decorated on His birthday, that's why! Praise!"
These sweaty men in tight women’s underwear who can’t keep their hands off each other may be fooling the unsaved world, but they're not fooling Jesus. For nearly 50 years, Satan and The World Wrestling Federation have been conditioning the human race to think nothing of a ringside seat to gawk at perversion. Before lustful, screaming fans, depraved sissies on steroids flirt with each other, taunt each other, play hard to get, and ultimately allow themselves to be touched in places unthinkable to Christian men.
Is it the fictional Moslem god called "Allah" or the real Christian God of the Holy Bible? Answer questions correctly to prove you know whose God is more vicious. After taking the quiz, you can find explanations of the correct answers by clicking here
Originally posted by Nygdan
That site is just so wrong. It needs to be shut down.
Objective:Shutdown Landover Baptist!
Originally posted by wellwhatnow
This is the funniest spoof I have ever seen. I don't mean to be insensitive to Christians, it's just that this website is so far out that I don't see how anyone could possibly think it represents anything real, and therefore I don't see how it could actually threaten any Christians.
Check this article out:
Caring staff of Landover
It's a real hoot!
[edit on 1/31/07 by wellwhatnow]
Freehold, Iowa - In an act that can only be described as pure evil, a rabid young Wiccan girl wearing a black cape burst into the Landover Baptist 11 a.m. Sunday morning church service and flung the bloody carcass of a headless black cat across 297 pews. Pastor Deacon Fred ducked just in time as the abomination splashed into the baptismal pool, spattering chunks of animal flesh and water over the white robes of a horrified Christian Seniors Choir visiting from Des Moines. Pushing a frenzied crowd of screaming parishioners aside, Church ushers acted quickly and detained the Devil's harlot for questioning in the sanctuary basement before taking her to the furnace room.
Originally posted by Rasobasi420
How many discussions have we had in the F&S forum or the Creationsism forum where one side of the debate sounds just like the stuff from Landover Baptist, except they're being absolutely serious.
Like the ever arguments put forth in this thread
Top Ten Scientific Facts : Evolution is False and Impossible.