It is through the lowest of times that I have learnt to ignore it.
It gnaws at each and every one of us, tears us apart from the inside.
It pits us against one another, causes us to hate.
It causes us to fear, to run, when we could have stood. Easily.
It is our emotions, and I have learnt to shut them out.
I have disposed of that which haunts you, and yet you shun me.
I am called heartless, cold, methodical, calculating,
all of which is intended as insult,
all of which compliments my acheivement.
I can act without disturbances,
think with absolute clarity, where others would weep.
So it is shown, that you have taken sides with that which hinders you.
Every wish, every dream of escaping pain, it was all a lie of sorts.
Because, you chose to use your anger, fear, hatred, against me,
all becuase I had none of it.
You have sided with jealousy, when you could have chosen logic.
And all you had to do was ask me how.
So you sleep with your enemy now.
You await a chance to destroy that which you hate.
Yet I sit, in perfect clarity, knowing your every move.
I could strike, but time and time again I give you chance.
A chance for peace,
a chance to see that it is that which you stand for that ruins you.
You can never defeat me, you may wound me, but I will not feel it.
It is the deceptive ally you have chosen that denies you victory,
and it is that friendly enemy that causes you to want it.
May you one day recognize your emotions as paradox,
may you one day, truely understand what peace is.
I too experience times when the enemy is too strong to deny.
I too have to face that which haunts you all day,
yet on the majority, I can deny it access.
It is through my calculation that I bring out that enemy in you,
and for that, I am deeply sorry.
But I will continue to do so, hoping it will be of an examle to you.
I work as a machine would, I live to out perform my peers,
yet I do not gloat over it.
I do not stop to show you I have done better,
I simply continue to push, to calculate,
I am relentless in my persuit to continue being relentless.
I regularly perform that which you call atrocities,
and I do not see them as such.
Only emotion can refer to progress as such.
You feel I am a threat, you feel I cannot be trusted.
Without emotion, you have no reason to fear me,
for without emotion, I have no desire for betrayal.
It is through my cold, methodical calculations that I ensure your safety.
If not for those who oppose me, I have nothing left to challenge.
Without challenge, I cannot better myself as quickly.
and it is for this reason alone that I strengthen you, as I would myself.
I see the frustration within you,
it is through this frustration that you desire to challenge me,
and it is through the purpose of challenge, that I accept.
However long our competition lasts,
I will allways remain in control, so long as you continue to side with your enemy.
And it is my lack of gloating, that prevents your demoralization,
and that prevents your forefeit, allowing the competition to continue.
And so, we have begun along an endless circle of challenge and defeat.
Your emotions will continue to eat away at you along the way.
However, I continue to believe...
One day, you will recognize your emotions as paradox, and you will join me.
One day, you will learn of peace.
It is through resolve, that you can shut out your emotions.
They do not take kindly to removal,
they will seemingly stop at nothing to get back in.
Learn to enjoy that which hurts you.
Learn to laugh, when you should be crying.
Learn to sigh in relief, when you should be screaming.
Learn to oppose emotion with that which confuses it.
Learn to pit your enemy against itself.
Teach your enemy to kill itself.
When events arise that can only harm your emotions,
assist that event to do so.
When your emotions become hindered, mock them.
It is through this that your emotions learn of defeat.
You have lost nothing but an enemy.
Destroy every emotion that can stand in your way.
Embrace every emotion that can lighten your day.
Upon every small victory in your life,
permit yourself a moment to feel.
But only a moment, force yourself to contain the rest.
Learn to release your joy when you would weep.
Learn to charge excitement when the day is dull.
Learn to love, when love is not warranted.
Learn to control all that cannot be controlled,
it is through a lack of feeling that allows you to learn to calculate.
You will find that the moral causes your emotions depict,
are the same causes that calculation issues to you as objectives.
Morality is not lost, in fact, you gain some.
The difference is in carrying them out.
Through calculation, you will not take on that which is futile,
and what is left is that which can dominate easily.
Through emotions, you will readily enter the realm of futility,
and whatever is left, you will be too occupied with futility to perform.
We walk along plains of diagrams, before us, disguised as pathways are equations.
The equations of life, the world around us, and those who enhabit it.
You can learn to clearly see events unfold, as easily as you can look upon a path in the distance.
You can know where to step, and what to move, to cause aothers path to change.
You can only work with those paths which you can reach, for these paths are the only ones you currently involved with.
These are the paths of others futures.
It is not magic, it is far from the obsurd. It is easily learnt, but impossible to teach.
Within this realm, you are compelled to assist in the future of those around you.
For without their pathways, you are left with an empty field.
An empty field, renders the realm without purpose, without purpose, it is lost.
This realm is a construct. It exists in your mind.
You allready have access to it, but you have yet to learn to see it clearly.
Through blindness, you pull and tug at pathways without knowing where they lead.
You cross paths that weren't meant to be crossed,
upon stepping on them, you referr to these as unfortunate coincedences.
There are no coincedences, only pathways you hadn't mapped yet.
It is a simple trick, yet others become disturbed by your ability to manipulate.
They have no reason to fear it,
they do not understand that it is outside your nature to cause harm through it.
Like a game, you play to win. Nobody throws their pieces into a game to have them destroyed.
You have become cold, methodical, and calculating.
You are in control, for true control cannot be seen.
If they can see you manipulating them, you have lost your ability to do so.
Your subtle gestures can greatly improve their lives.
You can bring them what they wanted, what they need.
The tone of your voice, purposeful delays in your speech,
your choice of words, and your manorisms,
these are your tools.
You give them what they want, what they need.
In turn they will fear, hate, and fight you.
You will learn the highest form of selflessness.
My greatest ability cannot be used for myself.
I have yet to fully understand the mechanisms which cause this.
I live my life, placing people on paths toward what they need.
They fight me on every movement, if I were emotional, I would have forfeited by now.
I continue on, where I know an earlier version of myself would have fled without hesitation.
I look back on what I was, and often feel that I have thrown aside what I was,
so that I can become mechanical in my thoughts, but I do not feel sorrow over it.
If I am to feel sorrow, I will have to learn of it again.
I destroyed the enemy within me long ago.
I have become something of a machine.
I have become cold, heartless, methodical, calculating.
I have become selfless.
I have become society's enemy.