posted on Jan, 2 2007 @ 03:25 PM
Originally posted by Griff
I agree. I thought we were having a great discussion. It is nice to hear from an ex-gay member about their experiences.
Griff, I'm not an "ex-gay". I'm a gay drop-out!
I'm still as queer as a 3 dollar bill (just like you - LOL - j/k). I just choose not to act on it anymore. I am a celibate gay man, who has come to
terms with being homosexual but hit another level and saw it for what it really was. I finally realized the "futility" of gay relationships. Not
that everything in my experience was bad. I was a happy go lucky gay guy with no hangups at all. I loved sex. I'm a wildman in the sack. I loved my
last boyfriend dearly (yeah, it went beyond lust). But when we ended (he lied and cheated after 8 years of living a double life behind my back) I
started praying (I was never really religious), and I asked God to tune me in. I picked up the Bible one night and thought, "you know, people have
spoken wonders about the power of God and this book, let's see if it's true." I was a doubter. So I started praying to the Holy Spirit (I know you
think this is probably ridiculous) for enlightenment. And I started seeing things differently (not hatefully mind you, just differently).
The weird thijng that kept dawning on me was, "He answers all my prayers....every single one (I'm not kidding)....except those that pertain to
finding happiness in a gay relationship. When it came to the gay part of my prayers God stood completely silent. This was a big clue and a turning
point for me. His not answering in this regard, became my answer.
Can you fathom that people can reach levels of human experience and become enlightened to seeing things in a different light without outside
influence? Just remember when you leave here, you will no longer have a body to sexually gratify on a constant basis......where will this leave your
soul? I decided to start preparing now for the grand exit one day......this lifetime can't compare to eternity.
And if you can't deal with God, the spirit or religion than just ignore me and move on. I'm just giving you a different point of view....one very
rare one in these times we live in.......because I'm gay and speaking from the inside-out. I'm not some crazed fundamentalist looking to exterminate
gays. It's not easy letting your sexuality go, but letting it go was my road to peace (which I had lost when actively gay). I've come full-circle. I
lived and I learned.......some need to go back and repeat it over and over and over again, and still can't figure it out. I'm not looking down my
nose at you at all. You're one of my kind, so I know where your heads at....your arguments sound like me when I was "out" and active. I
[edit on 2-1-2007 by rocknroll]