Newz Forum: OTHER: Dean's List: Boston Massacre: Celtics Cashed out

BOSTON - The least you expect when you buy a ticket to an NBA Game 7 is a game. But I expect a little more...

I expect at least two points on the dollar from the home team. Problem is, I paid $42 to watch the Celtics score 70 points and lose to the Pacers by 27. I can only imagine how the guy who paid a cool $400 for his courtside seat must have felt. He didn't even get a fifth of a point on the buck. As for the good people watching at home on TNT, they should get a refund from the cable company, or at the very least a credit on next month's bill...

Add Antoine Walker to growing list of guaranteed floppers in the NBA. And I'm not talking about his sure-fire ability to take a charge. I'm talking about his empty guarantee that flopped right on its ass in game seven. "Nobody gave us a chance," vowed the schizophrenic power forward after Boston's Game 6 victory in Indiana. "I think Reggie [Miller] might have just played his last game...in this building." You want to impress us, Antoine? You want to shock the world? Guarantee your sanity. And guarantee a consistent effort on the basketball court. Because it says here that your rebirth in Boston is dead...

Remember when Dwayne Rudd "lost his helmet" in the opening week of the 2002 season, costing the Browns a win against the Chiefs? And remember the Webber "timeout" that blew the 1993 national title game for Michigan? Or later in the year, when Leon Lett slid his way into infamy on "Turkey Day" in Dallas? Well it's a good thing the Celtics pulled out Game 6 in overtime. Because the memory of Paul Pierce's careless ejection at the end of regulation wouldn't be fading away...

Still, the Celtics never would have forced a seventh game if not for the heroism of two young soldiers named Al and Ricky. And against all odds, the city of Boston rallied around the "confederacy" of Jefferson-Davis in Game 6...

Detroit has a Prince, who plays in the Palace with the reigning kings of the NBA, who - thanks to two warriors named Wallace - are going medieval on the opposition to defend their crown. I guess some headlines just write themselves...

Assuming he gets drafted next month, former Illini guard Dee Brown stands to become the first player in the NBA named Dee Brown since - you guessed it - Dee Brown, last seen with the Orlando Magic in 2002...

Commissioner Bud Selig's "three strikes and you're out" steroid proposal for MLB is sending shockwaves throughout the sports world. And while an equally clever, yet simpler "three and out" plan has yet to be proposed by NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue, that hasn't stopped insiders from giving it a nickname: The Bledsoe Special...

Thus far, five players have been nabbed under the current steroid policy. Yet none of them have gone so far as to admit guilt, never mind express an ounce of remorse. And if no-namers like Jorge Piedra and Jamal Strong won't fess up, don't expect aspiring Hall of Famers like Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire to come out of the closet anytime soon. I know, I know, people are talking. And sure, progress is being made on the legal level. The Congressional Puppet Formerly Known as Selig will make sure of that. But judging by the example the "role models" are setting, the real dialogue is far from underway...

A "quality start" is defined as six or more innings of work. Thing is, a starter can earn a win without necessarily giving a "quality" effort (by pitching between five and six innings). But the closer? He gets off scot-free. He shows up for one measly out and gets the same credit as the guy who retires six batters over two innings of relief. Something isn't right here...

My solution? The quality save, which would separate the boys from the men, the mop-up jobs from the old-school efforts that actually "saved" the day. It's about quantity. The quality save requires a minimum of an inning of relief. A third of an inning is joke. Two-thirds doesn't cut it. An inning of work? Now that spells relief. And that's saving the day...

Bostonians aren't the only ones cursing his name. Aaron "Bleepin'" Boone is hitting .118 through 92 at-bats in Cleveland. I'm Dean Christopher...

Deans-List.net

[Edited on 5/8/05 by deanchristopher]