Here we go again...
Capitol Hill has finally gotten wind that the Rocky Mountain climate has been inflating offensive statistics in Colorado since the early '90s, just
like steroids. Members of Congress are furious, sources say, and they're not just going to sit by the wayside. Subpoenas will be issued, and justice
will be served cold, like Coors at a Rockies game. When asked about the impending action, the thin air said it was "blown away" by the allegations,
declining further comment...
Through four starts, Roger Clemens has an MLB-best 0.32 ERA with just one win to show for it. Amazingly, Clemens hasn't gotten one run of support in
his last 22 innings of work, all of them scoreless. But don't feel bad for the Rocket. He's gotten more than his share of support over the years, and
not just in a manner of speaking. Despite tossing no complete games with an unspectacular 3.51 ERA, Clemens won his record sixth Cy Young award in
2001 as a member of the Yankees. The reason? His spectacular 20-3 record. The reason for that? Overwhelming run support, courtesy of the Bronx
If Nomar Garciaparra's torn groin costs him the rest of the regular season, the onetime lock for the Hall of Fame will have missed a whopping 382
games over the past five seasons, "good" for a 53 percent appearance rate. Talk about a fall from grace. But for now, the Cubs shortstop isn't the
most fragile superstar of the new millennium - at least not in the physical sense. Ken Griffey Jr. has missed 332 games in the same period of time, or
about half the Reds' schedule since 2001. Still, Orlando's Grant Hill takes the cake. The former face of the NBA has played in just 114 games over the
past five seasons, "good" for a 28 percent appearance rate. Which - compounded with his seven-year, 92-million-dollar contract - has been nothing
short of crippling for the Magic franchise...
Toronto's Shea Hillenbrand is off to his best start in years, hitting a robust .370 through 81 at-bats, but I'm not impressed. Hillenbrand has walked
only once all season, meaning his chase of .400 begins - and likely ends - with on-base percentage. Still, his lack of discipline at the plate isn't
the half of it. Blue Jay Shea is nothing more than a glorified singles hitter, which is embarrassing for a corner infielder, especially one who
doesn't steal bases. Somebody should tell him that a walk's as good as a hit, particularly if you're only hitting singles. But let's give Hillenbrand
some credit. His 23 base knocks are tops in the bigs. And while Shea has a tough time getting as far as second base, at least he's enjoying the single
The NFL draft is like a horse race without the race. This is not to say that the NFL draft is like a horse. But in the absence of physical
competition, it inspires the same sort of speculative broohaha as, say, the Kentucky Derby, what with phantom analysts and fair-weather fans making
mindless predictions about "thoroughbreds" they know nothing about...
Who won the 2000 Kentucky Derby? And who was picked first in the 200 NFL draft? See what I mean? Save for a couple of human almanacs out there, nobody
has a clue...
Twelve years after President George H. Bush hired Dick Cheney as his secretary of defense, his son, President George W. Bush, brought in Cheney as his
vice president. And just when you thought things couldn't get any staler in Washington, Patrick Ewing Jr. is transferring to Georgetown to play for
John Thompson III, 24 years after his father, Patrick Ewing, signed with Georgetown to play for Thompson's father, His Holiness Coach John II. I'm