You probably heard reports about the football parent who went to a Texas high school and shot the football coach in the chest and then took off. As it
turns out, the shooter had been banned from the high school because he had gotten into physical confrontations with various coaches before and other
parents said he was "volatile".
During the time when he was on the lam in his truck, I read a report that said the authorities described him as "heavily armed", "suicidal" and
"intoxicated". When I heard that, my memory flashed back to Dean Wormer in Animal House and his proclamation that fat, drunk and stupid is no way to
go through life. Dean Wormer is right; that is not generally a path to success and happiness, but "fat, drunk and stupid" is a whole lot better than
"heavily armed, suicidal and intoxicated"! That is a trifecta to be avoided.
While trying to stay abreast of the developments in that story yesterday, I ran across another unusual story that has to have more behind it than was
contained in the report I read. According to WRAL Channel 5 in Raleigh NC, the student government election at NC State will need to go to a run-off
because no one received a majority of the votes. The leading vote getter is someone known only as "The Pirate Captain" who goes around campus dressed
as a pirate [duh!] and the basis of his campaign, which he calls his "plank", is that he will "holdin' meetin's open to all ye landlubbers" and a
pledge to "rid the campus of scurvy dogs". Remember, "The Pirate Captain" was the leading vote getter with 44% of the vote. If he wins, do not be
surprised if someone tries to run for governor or state senator in that area in the persona of "The Farmer's Daughter" or "Your Friendly Neighborhood
Some folks seem genuinely upset and offended that Dominique Wilkens was not elected to the basketball Hall of Fame last week. I can't get myself to
the point where a Hall of Fame vote is worth generating stomach acid over; these votes are never a tragedy of tsunamic proportion; they are not evilly
exclusionary as were professional sports prior to 1947. Hall of Fame votes are quantified opinions at their best and paybacks for previous affronts at
their worst. So, I don't really care if Wilkens is elected to the Hall of Fame this year or next year or on the Twelfth of Never; but here is one
observation from a basketball fan with no axe to grind:
Maybe if Dominique Wilkens had made it look as if he actually considered it worthwhile to play some defense in about a quarter of his games even if he
didn't actually play any defense, then he might have gotten a few more votes.
To all the Dominique Wilkens Fan Club members, please notice that I said, "Maybe..."
Thinking about Dominique Wilkens naturally leads one to think of the Atlanta Hawks. The Hawks have won 11 games this year. Let me put that in
perspective for you; last season the Atlanta Falcons won 11 games. The Hawks are four full games behind the Charlotte Bobcats, an expansion franchise
made up of the league's flotsam and jetsam. The Hawks have lost ten games in a row. Now you get one guess as to what is happening in Atlanta. That's
right; the Atlanta Hawks are going to raise ticket prices. Their games already sound like an echo chamber so that ought to be a way to regain whatever
passes for a home-court advantage in Atlanta.
And recalling Dominique Wilkens' aversion to playing defense reminds me to alert you to the fact that the San Antonio Spurs have signed Glenn "Big
Dog" Robinson to a free agent contract. The Sixers put Robinson on the DL back in November with "ankle tendonitis"; you have to understand that in the
NBA "tendonitis" comes and goes miraculously in phase with roster moves that teams want to make. The Sixers never activated him because he will not
play any defense and Jim O'Brien - for all his flaws - does demand effort on the defensive end of the floor. When traded to New Orleans, Robinson was
quickly released. Now the Spurs - a team also with a commitment to defense - will take him on. I think this will not be pretty.
There was a rain delay at The Masters. In an interview some time ago, Eldrick Woods explained that rain delays can be a problem if golfers don't know
about them early enough to stay in their hotels. He said there was a big difference between waiting out the rain in a hotel suite with a TV and
hanging around in a clubhouse with a bunch of other golfers. And you thought that this man had no way to empathize with people who are suffering...
The man accused of stalking Anna Kournikova in Florida was ruled incompetent to stand trial and ordered into a mental health facility for treatment
for 6 months. There were some courtroom incidents where he was disruptive and all that, but for the moment he is going to be treated and presumably
given some medications. One of the psychologists who testified at the hearing said that the defendant sees himself as a victim here and that
"everything is part of a conspiracy where he's been wronged". Reading about this hearing got me thinking about stalkers who are standing trial for
their behaviors. Can any of them really be categorized as "normal" or "sane" or "mainstream"? If so, then stalking would not be something to hold a
trial over. We don't put people on trial and in jail for shoveling their neighbor's driveway or canvassing an area to collect money for a charitable
cause. Stalkers are - by definition - people who are not quite like the majority of other folks, no?
Colin Powell has been invited to drive the pace car at this year's Indianapolis 500. I understand that the race organizers always get someone with
celebrity status to perform this task and that the "job" is completely ceremonial. Nevertheless, I would think that the race organizers might want to
select someone who has some kind of linkage to auto racing or Indianapolis or sports or something like that. I have nothing but admiration for
Secretary/General Powell but if he fits my description of what I would think the pace car driver ought to be, then I can only assume that Ashlee
Simpson was busy that day.
Finally, a question posed by Mike Bianchi in the Orlando Sentinel based on the news that South Carolina's spring football game will be telecast on
ESPN1 and ESPNU:
"Will Steve Spurrier run up the score on his own team?"
But don't get me wrong, I love sports...
Copyright The Sports Curmudgeon