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Newz Forum: OTHER: The Sports Curmudgeon on Mo Cheeks, Baron Davis, Tonya Harding, Mike Tyson plus m

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posted on Mar, 6 2005 @ 07:13 PM
The Portland TrailBlazers fired Mo Cheeks. Apparently, the team's promise to local fans to transform the team into one that the citizenry can be proud to have in the community will have to be put on the back burner for a while.

If Mo Cheeks is not the personification of class and dignity combined with "basketball intelligence" and his most recent tormentor, Darius Miles, is such a personification, the good people of Portland will never see a class organization. Period. Exclamation point.

Baron Davis had packed it in with the New Orleans Hornets and made it perfectly clear that he wanted out of New Orleans to play for a team with a chance of winning. The Hornets are 12-45 as of this moment and at the trading deadline, Baron Davis got his wish - sort of. The Hornets dealt him to the Golden State Warriors who are 17-40 at the moment. Neither team will make the playoffs this year; neither team is loaded with future Hall of Fame candidates. It would be unseemly for Davis to moan about the Warriors so soon after his arrival, but it will be interesting to see if he packs it in again next year as the trading deadline approaches.

Middle Tennessee State University's teams are known as the Blue Raiders; the women's teams are the Lady Raiders. A student there has proposed - and petitioned the people who run the university - to stop calling the women's teams the Lady Raiders. He says that the word "lady" in today's parlance is a sexist remark and this kind of thing should not be promulgated by the university. Notice that I used the pronoun, "he", in referring to the student making this proposal; it is indeed one of the male students. I wonder if he finds it sexist when someone refers to him as a "gentleman"? Does anyone really take offense when a speaker begins an address by saying, "Ladies and gentlemen..."?

I've talked about the ABA and the Nashville Rhythm several times before. This is the team that hired a young woman to coach a men's professional team and then the co-owner tried to fire that coach on the court in the middle of a game. The Nashville Rhythm is back in the news again. The team finished with a record of 21-10, which is good enough to make the ABA playoffs. However, the team will not participate in the playoffs based on an "ownership decision". According to an AP story, the Rhythm's GM said, "As for the reason [not to participate in the playoffs], I am unaware. I don't own the team and have no say in these matters." The owners issued a statement saying that the team has lost players since the attempted on-court firing of the coach and the owners do not feel the team is competitive at the moment. Let's just say that does not sit well with the players remaining on the team who feel that they are being denied a chance to compete in the playoffs after they earned a slot there. I wonder if the Rhythm will even exist next season.

I told you that Tonya Harding was scheduled to fight a female impersonator in Florida sometime next week. Well that had to be changed to a wrestling match. The change comes at the insistence of the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation; these are the folks that run the Florida Boxing Commission. In a statement, the Boxing Commission said that Harding was a professional boxer and therefore she can only perform as a professional boxer. None of her matches can be "pre-arranged" because that would constitute a fixed bout and that is illegal under the laws of Florida. Obviously, pro wrestling is something else entirely and so she can wrestle in a "pre-arranged" event as long as she is not wearing her boxing gear.

So, now we have a few questions to ponder:

When this fight was being touted and promoted, did anyone get the idea that it might be "pre-arranged"?

Is this the first of Tonya Harding's bouts that might have been "pre-arranged"?

The promoter of this fight claims that he did not know that "Daisy D" was really a man. Do we believe that?

How sick and twisted must one be to think that one might derive pleasure from watching Tonya Harding and a man dressed as a woman writhe around in a boxing/wrestling ring? If anyone finds that titillating, (s)he might also be aroused by the sight of a miniskirt on a person also wearing support hose.

It is always a banner week in the sports commentary business when Tonya Harding and Mike Tyson make simultaneous appearances. Mike Tyson is clearly someone in need of money so it is not surprising that he has accepted an appearance fee to go to Italy and appear at the San Remo Music Festival. If the linkage between "Mike Tyson" and any random "music festival" anywhere in the known universe is not immediately obvious to you, don't worry. It isn't obvious to Tyson either because when asked why he was invited, he said, "I don't know; maybe it's because I'm a music lover." Slow down there, Mike, and let me try to process the syllogistic path that led to that statement.

But not all is simple for Tyson in this appearance; nothing ever seems to be simple for this man. Amnesty International - an organization known for taking up the cause for victims everywhere - will protest his appearance on the basis that Tyson is less than a wholesome public figure. Joining Amnesty International in the protest is a women's support organization that worries about a rapist being in their community and the uncertainty that will bring as to how he might behave. I have never been much of a Mike Tyson fan and I have certainly pointed out the myriad flaws in his character and his behaviors over the years but I wonder if things might be going really well in the world of political prisoners these days since Amnesty International has the time and energy to spare to worry about Mike Tyson appearing at a music festival. As for the women's support group worrying about a rapist coming to their town, I think that is also a bit over the top.

Women's golf has teenagers, Michele Wie (pronounced "we") and Ai (pronounced "eye") Miyazato making their presence felt in LPGA events. This sounds like a declension of the personal pronoun. We have "I" and we have "we". Does U Thant have a daughter who plays golf?

Finally, another comment on Jose Canseco's book from Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle:

" 'Juiced' is catchy, but I like Canseco's original title better - - 'The Five People You Meet in the Oakland A's Clubhouse Bathroom Stall.' "

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

Copyright The Sports Curmudgeon


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