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Newz Forum: OTHER: Dean's List: McGwire to Canseco: 'You're in-credible!'

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posted on Feb, 15 2005 @ 10:25 PM
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The "Bash Brothers" are back, but this time they're not bashing baseballs - they're taking cuts at each other's reputations...
 

On the heels of Jose Canseco's claim that he injected Mark McGwire with steroids, Big Mac fired back, categorically denying the allegations and dismissing his former teammate as "in-credible." Still, Canseco's assertion that Rafael Palmeiro used performance-enhancing drugs simply can't be questioned. The Orioles slugger is, after all, a former Viagra spokesman...

By its very nature, a nickname can't be self-anointed, self-appointed, self...you get the point. Take Stephon Marbury. Nobody calls Stephon Marbury "Starbury" - except of course Stephon Marbury. "The People's Champ" Freddie Mitchell? Irony at its finest. Torry "Big Game" Holt? His idea completely. To be honest, I don't recall Torre ever having a big game in a big game. But by far the most outlandish self-named nickname of all-time is "Ultraback," the moniker coined by former Bears running back Raymont Harris in a sorry effort to promote his debatable skills out of the backfield...

The good people at Comcast offered their loyal customers the following description of the Kings/Sonics game on TNT this past Thursday: "Defending free-throw champ Peja Stojakovic (.927) has two competitors on Seattle in Luke Ridnour and Ray Allen." You got that? Apparently the NBA viewing experience is evolving right before out eyes. So move over, slam dunk, take a seat, three-pointer, sit down, fast break, and make way for the free throw...

Despite the fact that they're not even playing, football and basketball coaches should take a cue from baseball managers and wear uniforms. Imagine Bill Belichick roving the sidelines with a helmet and shoulder pads instead of gray hooded sweatshirt. Now picture Larry Brown in kicks, short shorts and a jersey instead of a pinstriped suit. Ridiculous...

After his record-setting regular season, Peyton Manning fell flat on his face in the playoffs. And if that wasn't alarming enough, the two-time defending league MVP dropped the ball over Pro Bowl weekend when he finished second to San Diego's Drew Brees in the passing accuracy competition. But fear not, nerd-lovers. Manning has already begun breaking down the film to ensure this doesn't happen again next year. And if I know Manning, he'll do whatever it takes to get the job done, even if it means simulating the competition in his back yard. Now if only he could solve the New England defense...

There was something unprofessional about the actual Pro Bowl itself. Oh yeah, the fact that other than Manning and fellow geek Marvin Harrison, nobody was trying...

Next year marks the 40th anniversary of the Big Game. And despite the NFL's marketing prowess, Super Bowl XL won't need any hype, and we have Roman numerals to thank for it all. The name of the game, mind you, is extra large...

Have you ever gotten so excited about something that you started spelling it out loud in unison with people you don't even know? You have if you're an E-A-G-L-E-S (Eagles) or J-E-T-S (Jets Jets Jets) fan. I'm D-E-A-N (Dean Christopher)...

[Edited on 2/16/05 by deanchristopher]

[Edited on 2/16/05 by deanchristopher]




 
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