A few lucky people "marry up" in life i.e. they acquire a spouse they may not actually deserve. I am certainly one of those people; my long-suffering
wife is beautiful, intelligent, dignified, tactful, and empathetic; I don't score very highly on any of those scales.
On Sunday, I became fully aware of a friend who has also been fortunate enough to "marry up". My Super Bowl viewing experience was at the home of the
gentleman who is the Chief of Logistics and the Social Director for the annual pilgrimage to Las Vegas. His wife is about to have one of those "decade
birthdays" and he told her that he would take her anywhere in the world that she wanted to go for that event. And where did this lovely and
intelligent and - you get the picture - woman opt to go for her trip? She's not going to Disney World; she's going to Las Vegas so she can play in a
slots tournament thereby giving my friend several days to spend in the sports book and at the craps tables. If you believe in destiny, this woman was
fated for such beneficence at birth when her parents aptly named her Gloria.
I have only these words of wisdom for my friend:
My man, be good to this woman. Be very good to this woman.
The Super Bowl provided an overwhelming performance by Terrell Owens. Not only did he play on his surgically repaired ankle far sooner than anyone
thought he might, he played very effectively and he played aggressively. His comments after the game were right on; had someone like Brett Favre done
what he did, everyone would have gushed about what a "warrior" Favre is. I do not mean to diminish Brett Favre's courage and dedication to the game
and his skill level in any way; all of his attributes in those areas are prodigious. Nevertheless, what Terrell Owens did on Sunday ranks with
anything Favre has done in his career and may rank with any of the other legendary "football warriors" of yore. People do not affix that label to
Owens because many of them have reacted in the past in a negative way to some of his antics - as have I. Whatever. His performance and the
circumstances of his performance on Sunday on the largest stage in the sport confirm his status permanently as a "warrior".
The Super Bowl provided and underwhelming performance by Freddie Mitchell. Freddie said he "had something" for Rodney Harrison. It turns out that what
he had was the hot air he expelled in making that claim.
Lots of people have used Sunday's result to confer "dynasty" status on the New England Patriots. Obviously, they are the first great football team of
the 21st century and they are the best organization in the league at this time. I'm old enough, however, to have seen other teams – in other sports
to be sure - demonstrate equal or greater superiority for much longer periods of time so I get antsy about calling any team a "dynasty" after three
championships in four years. Yes, times are different now; yes it is much more difficult to keep teams together today that in the past. But I recall
the Boston Celtics from the mid-50s through the late 60s winning 11 championships and I recall UCLA from 1964 to 1974 when their second team might
have been the #2 team in the country and I recall the Yankees of the 1950s. The Patriots are the best team in the NFL, but I prefer to use the word
"dynasty" in the context of a time frame longer than four years.
Fortunately, we had a Super Bowl halftime show with no inadvertently exposed flesh that might have thrown the FCC into paroxysmal hyperventilation.
While I cannot bring myself to believe that Paul McCartney is still on the "A-List" of the entertainment world, I think how much worse it might have
been. Imagine a trio of Ashlee Simpson, Roseanne Barr and Yoko Ono doing a medley... Now imagine what it would take for you to avoid gouging out your
eyes and lighting firecrackers in your auditory canal to avoid the sensory experience of that show... Paul McCartney was plenty good enough.
Jose Canseco's book will be available February 21st. I would say that it was "long-awaited" but that's not particularly accurate. Rather, let me say
that he has talked about this book for a long time and it is now going to be released much later than he originally told us it would be. In there he
makes a wide range of claims about steroid use by his teammates and contemporaries, which is what he said he was going to do. Some of the sordid tales
have leaked prior to the book availability - yes, I know; I'm shocked too! In one place, the book allegedly claims that Canseco, Jason Giambi and Mark
McGwire all "shot up with steroids" in a bathroom stall. That had to be one of the most densely populated points on the planet at that moment in
Canseco also claims that Rafael Palmiero used/uses steroids. Palmiero - through a spokesperson - has denied using any performance enhancing drugs. I
beg to differ with Raffy on this one because he says he uses Viagra and the only reason to use Viagra is to enhance performance. Or have they come out
with chocolate mint flavored Viagra and I didn't notice?
Gregg Drinnan had this item in his column in the Kamloops Daily News:
"In each of the last three seasons, Los Angeles Dodgers closer Eric Gagne has thrown 82 1/3 innings. He is the first pitcher in Major League history
to pitch the same number of innings in three consecutive seasons... And aren't you just thrilled that you know that?"
In addition, I'm amazed that anyone would expend the effort to check the records of each and every other pitcher in major league baseball history -
even if all that means is to search an already established database. Not only is this a fact not worth knowing; it is a fact not worth uncovering.
Dany Heatley of the Atlanta Thrashers was given probation, a fine and a stern lecture by a judge as a result of his guilty plea to vehicular homicide
in which his teammate, Dan Snyder, died. Let me see if I understand the sentencing guidelines in Georgia. Dany Heatly gets no jail time here while
Jamal Lewis gets 4 months in jail when a friend of his used Lewis' cell phone to set up a drug deal. Heatley will - as part of his community service -
give 150 public speeches about the dangers of speeding. If that's OK, why couldn't Jamal Lewis give 150 speeches about the dangers of letting other
people use your cell phone? The next time the judge in the Heatly case cites someone for contempt of court, he will indeed have identified my
Finally, since I began this rant talking about how fortunate one can be to marry a wonderful woman, let me conclude with a comment from political
strategist/pundit James Carville who once said that he earned a 4.0 GPA at LSU by getting a 1.0 in his freshman year and a 1.0 in his sophomore year
and a ...
"Winning an argument with your wife is like the war in Iraq. Even when you win, you are still in big trouble."
But don't get me wrong, I love sports...
Copyright The Sports Curmudgeon
[Edited on 2/12/05 by SportzWriter]