Newz Forum: BASEBALL: Dean's List: Final LCS Musings

It took 69 innings, but the Nation finally stuck it to the Empire...

If Massachusetts Senator John Kerry were as popular as the Boston Red Sox, he'd trample President Bush in the biggest landslide since the Reagan administration. Fat chance. The 2004 presidential election figures to be as tight as the race for the American League pennant. And with November 2nd less than two weeks away, Kerry can only hope to mimic the heroics of the hometown team by completing a comeback as momentous as their seven-game slaying of the incumbent Yankees...

Fox color man and unabashed Yankee lover Tim McCarver was so bummed out by the ninth inning of game seven that he stopped talking. You know, that thing he's supposed to do during broadcasts. But it's just as well. He probably would have just made another asinine comment, like "a lead-off walk is the same thing as a homerun." No joke. McCarver actually told twenty million Americans that "a lead-off walk is the same thing as a homerun." I wonder if he subscribes to the age-old adage that a walk's as good as a hit - a base hit, that is. He must. So transitively, McCarver has to believe that a single is the same thing as a homerun. And to think they actually pay him to talk...

Count on McCarver - a man of understated wit - to deliver the understatement of the year. "If the Red Sox win game seven," McCarver predicted. "It very easily could be the biggest win in franchise history." Thanks for the update, Timmy. And might I add that if John Kerry wins the upcoming presidential election, it'll be the biggest victory of his political career...

Speaking of annoying, has anyone else noticed how Derek Jeter dives over the plate after every time he takes a pitch? This isn't a matter of balance or momentum. This is a blatant case of gamesmanship gone awry, a sorry attempt to confuse the umpire, and it needs to stop...

Joe Torre is an icon in New York, a first ballot Hall of Famer. He is - unequivocally - the reigning King of the Empire. But what if the Boss were to turn on the King? Who could possibly fill Torre's shoes? Bill Parcells? Would the Tuna trade one Dark Side for another? Phil Jackson? Could the Zen Master spur an age of enlightenment in the Bronx? What about Bella Karolyi? Would the legendary gymnastics guru keep the Empire from "tumbling"? And what do any of these guys know about baseball? Seems to me George better stick with Joe...

Per Fox, Curt Schilling's favorite TV show is "Everybody Loves Raymond." Phew. I was wondering where the ratings were coming from. Now if I could just put my finger on the other 19,999,999 Americans tuning in week after week...

What's with Tony LaRussa's shades? Has with wife been beating him? Has he gone blind? Is it sunny in the Cardinal dugout? Or has the St. Louis skipper mistaken himself for some sort of managerial celebrity? Because he looks like he's directing a movie out there, not managing a baseball team...

During game six of the NLCS, Fox analyst Steve Lyons referred to Astros centerfielder Carlos Beltran as "the hottest man on the planet." To be clear, Lyons was referring to Beltran's electric post-season play, not his manly sex appeal. But I think that's only common sense...

[Edited on 10/22/04 by deanchristopher]