I am sure this has been posted before, but I couldn't find it.
The European Language Commission has just announced an agreement
English as the official European-wide language, Rather than German,
the other choice. The commission conceded that English spelling has
considerable room for Improvement, and has proposed a five year phase-
to create what will become known as 'Eur-English.' This term will
be Shortened to "Yrglish."
In the first year, the letter 'S' will replace the soft 'C'. This
sertainly make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'C' will
in favor of the 'K'. This should klear up konsiderable konfusion...
keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'PH' will be replaced with 'F'. This will make words like
'fotograf' twenty persent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling changes kan
ekspekted to allow more komplikated changes. Governments will
removal of double letters, which have always ben a big deterent to
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'E' is
disgras, and should disapear to.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'TH' with
'Z', and 'W' with 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'O' kan be
from vords kontaining 'OU', and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
kombinations of leters and uneded vovls.
And last, letrs zat don't ad zounds at al vil b dropd. Aftr zis fifz
vil hav a rly sensibl ritn styl. Zr vil b no mor trubl or
pepl vil spek Yrglish, and v vil finly b abl to tok klerly viz ech
drem vil finly b tru...
...and zen v vil tak ovr z vrld!