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In my opinion, women are equal in life but not in function.
Some laws are based on "the law of the reasonable man", ie, what would a reasonable man do in this same circumstance?
The need of some men to physically subdue another human being and exert their will in the most dehumanizing manner has nothing to do with wanting or getting basic needs met.
A woman may be willing to barter the comforts of her lap for the comforts of your watertight roof but that is still "substance for substance" or "value for value".
Our functions in life are greatly determined by our physical abilities. Our attitudes and behaviors are very much determined by our functional capacities. For example: as a man, your attitude toward sex will be very much different than a womans' because you don't have the ability to get pregnant, miscarry, die in childbirth, get knocked up and abandoned, lose your good figure (marketability) due to "baby fat", etc. Therefore your behavior in that regard will be different than a womans'.
She better hope she's got more than that to work with or she will become a party favor. A woman who can pull her own weight in the area of manual labor and has a variety of skills upon which to draw (first and foremost-self defense) has a much better chance of surviving (even in peace times).
The whole line of thinking here is based on the concept that the women has all the value in her lap and the man has no value in his lap. Her sexuality has all the value in the marketplace and his sexuality has no value in the marketplace. Therefore it is incumbant on a man to try out eagerly for a womans sexuality/approval. A man begins from a position of being way behind from the starting gate.
I prefer women who are secure in themselves...and not looking to a man to take on a career in thier insecuritys..children or no children. I call this High Maintenance.
For example: as a man, your attitude toward sex will be very much different than a womans' because you don't have the ability to get pregnant, miscarry, die in childbirth, get knocked up and abandoned, lose your good figure (marketability) due to "baby fat", etc. Therefore your behavior in that regard will be different than a womans'.
I dont worry about those items in the list of things that women are wont to worry so much about because they are not paramount to me and my psyche.
I have learned over time that if I must work and produce for a woman and her kids to my extinction or for sex...it is dehumanizing. To come in constantly second place or further back when producing first fruits is dehumanizing. I require first fruits from a woman..and sex is not it..understand???
I love a good meal prepared by a woman who cares and a peaceful quiet relaxing atmosphere in which to savor it. A good foot and back rub are great too after a days work. A rare commodity in the marketplace for a man now days...who knows the difference.
Everyone’s life experiences are different, important and valid. I have learned much from the experiences of others which is why I share my own. We are not shaped by any one experience, but by the collection of all experiences.
Originally posted by whitewave
I was told that the fingerprinting was for my child's "protection". (isn't the loss of all our freedoms for our own good?) My retort was that having his fingerprints on file does NOT protect him from kidnappers, child molesters, the boogey man, unabombers, etc. It MAY help to identify his dead remains but it doesn't protect him from becoming dead remains. Small comfort and great sacrifice of privacy.
I did homeschool 3 of my children for a while but working 60 hours a week, commuting 10, homeschooling 3 different grade levels, doing all the cooking, cleaning, yard work, laundry, shopping, paying all the bills, etc. left me a little tired and cranky. I was married at the time but got no help. He "worked for a living" (not sure what it was he thought I did) and shouldn't have to do any "woman's work" at home. I finally told him that "I could bring home the bacon or I could fry it up but I'll be damned if I'm gonna do both. What in the world do I need you for?"
Originally posted by whitewave
Not sure that all came out like I meant it to-so be gentle in your response-the wounds are still fresh here.
Fishing! *perks up*
Lots of ponds around here with catfish, trout, crappie, etc. I use a zephyr.
Pitchforked a salmon once in Oregon during spawning season in the creek that ran behind my house. Found out later that it's illegal to catch salmon that way. Oops. Too late to throw it back. Had to eat the evidence. lol.
Personally, I think fishing is an excuse for men to nap and drink beer all day. (yes, I'm "baiting" you.)
Any helpful hints/advice for the constantly curious?
WhitewaveI suspect that there will always be inequality between the sexes and that is of especial concern to women in survival situations.
gpsI have heard it said and I agree "if your in a relationship for give and take your in it for the wrong reasons,it should be give and give"Though there are limits that go beyond bearable that no one should just have to accept imo.
gpsI once heard an old lady say on TV many years ago "the best way a mother can love her children is love her husband and their father".That type of thinking is virtually dead.
They even pay here in Australia now $4000 to the parent/parents for a new born,making this type of single mother even more common.
Originally posted by Diseria
Why be nibblets for a parasite?
I'm a loyal girl (woman? when does one become the other?), and I've been loyal to the point of stupidity. But, I've learned that for as much as give-give endears me to hearts, it does not guarentee that the relationship can be considered 'equal'... If BOTH parties give-give, then life is peachy! Most times, that's not how it is, and in order to maintain equality, *sigh* you hafta learn to be selfish. (which seems so anti-equality... it really isn't, but it seems so...)
Any idea when you heard her say that? Sounds like 50's to me...
I'll love my man forever, but I'm out if he _ever_ raises his hand to hit me, or cheats on me, or generally mistreats me or our child(ren). I expect the same of him.
If I didn't have integrity, (*snaps* dang, my parents raised me wrong!) I'd suckle the state teet because those on welfare get better health/dental care than most other people who pay for it... Nevermind if you have a child! Then you and the baby are taken care of.
Why be nibblets for a parasite?
Whitewave & GPS
My heart goes out to you guys. If I have a quarter of the strength that you guys have shown via the tellings of your past, then I shall consider myself a lucky girl.. woman... whatever.
....Yes, I know, I'm a dork. I'm very well aware of it, and over the years, I've come to embrace my dork-dom. )
Speaking of dork, this dork hasta get to class.
These are things that you you can say now,but may be different if they ever happened.imho
Because I had to learn also there are far worse things than infidelity.My twin boys may not even be my own.Though this is not what caused the separation though it did contribute its part.
How would you feel about your partner,if he has the same limits as your putting on the success or failure of your love.
Can you slap his face,if he said something inconsiderate,does a sideward glance at another woman constitute unfaithfulness etc. and can you do the same etc etc
All I`m trying to say is sometimes its not so cut and dry and love for your partner or child is quit limitless if you love them.Doesn`t mean to say you wont argue or be silent when things are wrong,because love is also not being silent when they are wrong.
So love can be an arguement,just not stamping ones feet to get their own way for the sake of imature selfishness or need.
Though I would rather you slapped the back of my head for being so stupid to begin a relationship with her in the first place,so feel free to slap away.seriously.I`ve tried to myself but cant get a big enough swing.
Your teet is being suckled your the one paying for them to do it,those who do rape the system and use children in this way bleed it from the tax payers.
So I`m in agreeance here as well,though I`ll put up with more from a partner than I will from others bleeding from me.I cant stop others or the Gov but I make much much more noise about it.
Well dorks are good in my book then,and I`m assuming then your still fairly young?
Thing is as your well aware no two people are equal,it seems gone are the days or thinking that the marriage is bigger than those in it.
Originally posted by Diseria
As my grandfather put it: I'll walk next to you, and I'll fight next to you. I'll defend you when you can't defend yourself. But I am not going to fight over you.
While I'm sure I could knock you ass over tea-kettle, I won't. However, I will offer a hug, and ask if you learned your lesson...
Well, mentally, I feel like I'm 40. Really, I'm 25. Yourself?
I liken intelligence to putty - education (which comes in many forms: institutions, life, et cetera) can give you tools and help you shape it, but whatever putty you've got is what you've got.
(with all the crap that gets into the earth's water, I'm not so sure that I'd *want* to eat anything from the ocean...)
Frankly, this is a flip-flop from the 'traditional' patriarchal way of viewing women and their (general) value...
No, I do not understand.
Maybe I'm completely missing what you're saying, so please take my words with a grain of sugar.
If you're with a woman who has kids (not your kids), then in her mind, her kids _should_ take first place. I might be alone on this, but whenever I have kids -- they come first. (And, if you accept them as your children, the same mindset should follow.)
Now, if you're talking about a woman _using_ you for a paycheck (financial security), taking the money without emotional compensation, that's a different kettle of fish. Indeed, she would properly be classified as a 'money whore', or, for short, a whore -- which is dehumanizing in its own right. (So, in the end, both of you would be dehumanizing each other, and yourselves for allowing it to happen.)