Rodney Dangerfield joke of the day

I have read most of them bloody funny.

yeah, they're bloody funny, I just read the whole 5 pages, it's friggin hilarious.

Here are the ones that cracked me up the most:

"I don't get no respect. One night I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand - my wife lit it!"


01/28/04: "When I was a kid I got no respect. My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me to sit on his lap. He was in the electric chair."

Now I get your "I get no respect!!!" title. I never heard of the guy besides one or 2 movie of him I've seen younger.

Damn funny guy. Please don't stop 'em, they're hilarious.

Thanks Drunk and mOrbid. I'm glad to see that these are appreciated!

Originally posted by NotTooHappy
Thanks Drunk and mOrbid. I'm glad to see that these are appreciated!

They are awesome, but don't stop now.

02/20/04: "I get no respect. This last week my tie was on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!"

02/21/04: "It was the same thing in the army, no respect. They gave me a uniform that glowed in the dark."

02/22/04: "When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was lost on the beach and the cop helped me look for my parents I said, "Do you think we'll find them?" He said, "I don't know, kid, there's so many places they could hide.""

02/23/04: "I tellin ya I get no respect. When I was in Switzerland, I got an obscene yodel."

02/24/04: "Last Christmas I got no respect. In my stocking, I got an Odor-Eater."

02/25/04: "I tell ya I get no respect. I told my dentist to put in a new tooth to match my other teeth. He put in a tooth with four cavities."

02/26/04: "With my wife I get no respect. I took her to a drive-in movie. I spent the whole night tryin to find out what car she was in."

02/27/04: "With my wife I don't get no respect. She told me when we have sex, that's the only time I make her laugh."

02/28/04: "With my wife I don't get no respect. I bought a used car. And found my wife's dress in the back seat."

02/29/04: "With my wife I don't get no respect. When I had diabetes she kept sending me candy grams."

03/01/04: "When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my old man, "I'm sick and tired of running around in circles." He got mad. He nailed down my other foot."

03/02/04: "In high school I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop."

Where do you find all these :thumbsup:

www.belowtopsecret.com...

Originally posted by drunk
Where do you find all these :thumbsup:

www.rodney.com Rodney's official site.

03/03/04: "Last Christmas I got no respect. I gave my kid a B-B gun. He gave me a sweatshirt with a bullseye in the back!"