Pick-up Lines

My friend seems to have found the motherlode of pick-up lines. He wont give me the link, but supllied me with a nice amount...

HERE WE GO...

YOU: Hey baby, do you happen to work at the UPS?

Babe: No. Why?

YOU: 'Cause I could've SWORN I saw you checkin' out my package!

**SLAP!**
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YOU: You like math?

Babe: Yes.

YOU: Smashing! Then let's add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply, babay!

**SLAP!**
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-I may not be Fred Flintstone but I know I can make your bed-rock!
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-There is absolutely no such thing as perfection, but you're the closest one to it that I've ever met.
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-I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me tonight?
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-Do you have any (insert YOUR nationality in here) in you? Want some?
MAKE SURE YOU ARE THAT NATIONALITY!
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-Nice legs. What time do they open?
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-"my love for you is like diahhrea, i just cant hold it in."
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-Did you lose weight?- Cause you look a lot less fat than when i first saw you.
**SLAP!**


Yeah, so thats all of 'em. Tell me what you all think! If you have anymore, send 'em in!

[STAY COOL)
-prophetmike

EDIT: Changed nationality line from German to ANY NATIONALITY. I actually have recieved U2U's on why I chose Germans. Sorry if I offended anyone.

[Edited on 5-2-04 by prophetmike]

lol those are some good pickups line (and some that suck) but nice try to those..most of you stole some that I knew..so..yeah...cool thread

-wD

"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?


"Would you like to go out, or should I just stalk you? Because either way, Im going to get you bitch!'

myself and a friend went to the bar one night to have a few and he saw the girl of his dreams. He has honestly searched for Ms. Right for years and proclaimed for the first time that this was the real thing, love at first sight. So he moseys on over, smiles and says "Excuse me ma'am, You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in my life. I would be honored if you'd allow me this dance" and stood there smiling for her reply.
She looked him straight in the eye and in a fairly loud voice said "I gotta go take a crap!" and walked away.
The whole bar erupted into laughter.

Originally posted by beergoggles
myself and a friend went to the bar one night to have a few and he saw the girl of his dreams. He has honestly searched for Ms. Right for years and proclaimed for the first time that this was the real thing, love at first sight. So he moseys on over, smiles and says "Excuse me ma'am, You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in my life. I would be honored if you'd allow me this dance" and stood there smiling for her reply.
She looked him straight in the eye and in a fairly loud voice said "I gotta go take a crap!" and walked away.
The whole bar erupted into laughter.

DAMN. I feel SO sorry for what happened to your friend. But in all actuality, this has to be one of the MOST funniest stories I have EVER heard in my life. Wow. **Wipes tears from eyes** WOO. I'm sorry. YES, it was THAT funny...

Keep 'em coming... **snicker**

[Stay cool]
-prophetmike

Crying of laughter still, I'm saving that story for friends next time I'm out drinking.

Originally posted by beergoggles
myself and a friend went to the bar one night to have a few and he saw the girl of his dreams. He has honestly searched for Ms. Right for years and proclaimed for the first time that this was the real thing, love at first sight. So he moseys on over, smiles and says "Excuse me ma'am, You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in my life. I would be honored if you'd allow me this dance" and stood there smiling for her reply.
She looked him straight in the eye and in a fairly loud voice said "I gotta go take a crap!" and walked away.
The whole bar erupted into laughter.

hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?

*walks over to Fury...plants him a kiss and SLAP!*

Do u speak to all woman like that?

Seesh....how about "u like a drink?"

not like i have much experience but come on guys...use ur brains not ur.....u know what i mean

Nice legs, what time do they open?

That's classic!!!

Not that she needed a line, but I knew a girl that would ask someone their name, then freak out and say "Omigod, I have your name tatooed on my ass"

They'd say she was full of it. She'd bet them a drink that she did, then show them her ass.

"YOUR NAME"

Clever girl....

My friend keeps giving them to me. As long as he does, I'll keep posting.

HERE WE GO... (again)...

-If beauty was a tear, you would be the ocean.
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-My carrot is dry and I need to dip it in some ranch dressing.
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-May I insert my ***** in you?
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-If you were my homework I'd do you all night.
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-"50 bucks an hour sound good?"
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-I need some Pepcid AC because you make my heart burn.
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-mmmmm, your legs are like peanut butter, smooth creamy, and fun to spread.
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-YOU: 'so, you attracted to any of the other guys here?'

her:'no'

YOU: 'oh.. then i guess your stuck with me'
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-You must not have a license, because you are driving me crazy!
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-YOU.IN MY PANTS. A.S.A.P.
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-Nice ass. Get in the car.
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-YOU: Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?

Her: no

You: *pull pockets inside out* Would you like to?
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-Hey baby, want me to give you a free mammogram?
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-YOU: you ever played a game with a joystick?

HER: *no*

***zzzip*** (YOU unzipping your pants)

YOU: well try it- the game is called splat
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Thats it. He said thats all of them. If I find anymore, I'll be sure to give 'em. Tell me what you think!

Thats it. For now. Later, folks!

[STAY COOL.)
-prophetmike

some goth pick up lines (no offence intended towards any goths)

�Hey, you in the black!�
�Your coffin or mine?�
�I never knew hellish demons flew so close to the ground��
�Nice shoes, wanna drink blood?�
�You�re so beautiful, when I look at you my heart starts beating� I think.�
�Wanna go somewhere a little darker?�
�Is that a candle in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?�
�Hi, I have my own cult!�
Aren�t Anne Rice�s writings so poetic?�
"Don�t you think the human voice, wailing in agony, is the most beautiful of all instruments?�
�You�re just how I like my meat: raw and bloody.�
�That�s a nice black lace Victorian-era corset. But it would look nicer crumpled up in a ball on my bedroom floor!�
�So� are you Catholic?�

I haven't seen any Mardi Gras pick up lines, but you almost don't need them.

"For sport" I liked girls with jerk boyfriends at MG. (Ok, actually I'm the jerk, but anyway...)

"I can't help but notice your boyfriend just got in that 20 minute bathroom line, you're drunk and we're never going to see each other again. Wanna _______?"

High 90's percentile for any request that can be done in public.

But Mardi Gras is shooting fish in a barrel. Eventually some girl will ask if you have a place to stay by 5am. The hard part is not getting hooked up too early.

Also cockblocking friends for fun and profit.

I won't even list CB lines...we've all done it. From standing behind your friend making small dinky gestures to mentioning it's his bachelor party when he takes a leak... it's fair game.

Wing man lines? Those take skill. Getting your friend laid if harder than yourself most of the time, but truly honorable and deserving of much free beer.

Hey lets play a game

You be little red ridding hood

I'll be the big bad wolf

Then I'll chase you home and eat your goodies

"is your daddy a terrorist?"

"why?"


"cause you the bobmb baby!"

"Hey don't I know you from the bus?"

"My mom has that same dress."

"Wanna see a trick I learned in prision?"

"How much were your _____?"

"Are you drunk or is that just a lazy eye?"

"My tool needs a shed"

"I'd like to park my correct new shoes underneath your bed"

Stupid ones from my friends go figure.

Hey, wanna get a pizza and F****?
What's the matter, ya don't like pizza?

F*** me if i'm wrong, but is your name Lisa?
(funny as long as it isn't)

I was at a bar one night and a very attractive woman approached me asking for a cigarette. Nervously, I fumbled for a smoke and handed it to her. She proceeded to sit down next to me with the cigarette in hand. I asked if she needed a light cause she was just sitting there holding it. She then said, "I really don't smoke, I just wanted something of yours in my mouth."

Originally posted by prophetmike

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-Do you have any German in you? Want some?
MAKE SURE YOU ARE GERMAN!!!

im half german. will it still work?

[Edited on 2-5-2004 by KrazyIvan]

Originally posted by KrazyIvan

Originally posted by prophetmike

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-Do you have any German in you? Want some?
MAKE SURE YOU ARE GERMAN!!!

im half german. will it still work?

Well, this joke works (or SHOULD work) with ANY NATIONALITY. I'm gonna actually edit that post RIGHT NOW. Because it's not JUST for the German people.

It might still work anyway. Try it and tell us what response you get. GOOD LUCK!

[STAY COOL)
-prophetmike

IM NOT WEARING ANY UNDIES... WOOHOO! haha