favorite urban legend

what are everyones favorite urban legends?

mine are the one about the rat that the couple thinks is a chiwawa and the man who killed all the fish in a lake by putting a power line in it then stepping in the lake to retrieve the dead fish w/out removing the power line, therefore killing himself

my absolute favorite is this one.


Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police.

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.

The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's # when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

That tale above is absolutely disgusting. Very nice legend though.

Very well told legend... good choice.

UUUUGGGGHHH!!! MENTAL PICTURE!!!

MUST... :bnghd: ...GET OUT... :bnghd: ...OF HEAD!!!

That is the most convuluted, bizarre, and twisted disgusting urban legend I've ever heard in all my days....



Thank you so much for sharing!!!

I was gonna go with the "Say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times." Good story, tho.

thanks i almost forgot about that one.

Originally posted by Colonel
I was gonna go with the "Say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times." Good story, tho.

I was just thinking about that one....your supposed to do that in the dark
and spin around....she will then claw her way out of the mirror and rip you
to shreds!

Mine Would Be Bigfoot

[Edited on 09-12-2003 by ShadowMan]

The one about coming home to your choking dog, taking him to the vet and finding two human fingers in his throat?

Then finding a burglar that bled to death in your closet.

______
Also any and all iterations of the friend with a friend who's boyfriend ate tuna out of her but didn't get it all and she got MAGGOTS!

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Life Cereal Mikey died from pop rocks and coke.

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Jamie Lee Curtis was born a hermaphrodite (actually I think she was).

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Republicans are for the middle class.

Yup, lots of urban legends out there.

Originally posted by RANT

Jamie Lee Curtis was born a hermaphrodite (actually I think she was).

I read this somewhere. I think it's true.

Mikey dying from Pop Rocks and Coke, hehe....that's creative...and many still believe it!

No urban legend here, but in keeping with the vaginal theme already set I was going down on my old lady back in the seventies and got a big mouthful of hairy cottage cheese.

My absolute favorite ul is the one about................................................................................................................................................. ...................................................................................................................................................... .............................................................................:w::shk: :bash::bnghd:

I like the one about how evil women will seduce men, then drug them, take out their kidneys to "sell them on the black market", then leave the victim in a bathtub full of ice with a note telling them to call 911.

Originally posted by cardsharp

Originally posted by Colonel
I was gonna go with the "Say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times." Good story, tho.

I was just thinking about that one....your supposed to do that in the dark
and spin around....she will then claw her way out of the mirror and rip you
to shreds!

Well, I hope she's ready to pack an ass whoopin' back with her....

In keeping with the animal inside women theme heres a short one:

A woman is mailing newsletters for her local church when she accidentally gets a peper cut on her tongue while sealing the envelopes. She forgets about it, treats the wound and resumes sealing the envelopes with a damp sponge

A few days later her tongue begins to swell and she doesnt quite know why. Explaining to herself that it must be a reaction between the enzymes in her mouth and the paper cut, she tries to forget about the pain for a few more days.

After about a week, the pain becomes unbearable and the swelling is impacting her speech. She decides to visit the doctor. THe doctor has no idea what could be the matter so he takes an x-ray. What he sees he can't believe, so he puts her under for immediate surgery. As he makes an incision with his scalpel, two anntenae poke out and out scampers a large cockroach. The doctor decides to keep it a secret.

Apparently the womans tongue was a perfect location for the gestation and incubation of a live cockroach and the egg located on the envelope made its way into the center of her tongue through the paper cut on her mouth.

The under pants gnomes. by far, the underpants gnomes.



i UNDERPANTS GNOMES

My favorite has always been the vacationers who come back to find their hotel room robbed of everything except the camera and their toothbrushes..... I think you guys know how it ends....

Here is what I think is the funniest urban legend

Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on state Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.

Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.

The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck's headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.

After traveling approximately 20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.

"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston (shot his intimate parts off) or we might have been dead," stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how the accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife, asked how many frogs the boys had caught, and did anyone get them from the truck.