Army jokes

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posted on Nov, 17 2003 @ 05:54 PM
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During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."




posted on Nov, 17 2003 @ 05:56 PM
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LOL. Good stuff. I like it.



posted on Nov, 17 2003 @ 05:58 PM
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Marine = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment

USAF = Uncle Sams Airborne Freaks



posted on Nov, 17 2003 @ 06:07 PM
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what do marines do when they take over an island?

bulid foxholes


what to army infantry men to when they take over and island?

set up an HQ



what do saliors do when they take over and island?

build a navy yard


what do air men do when they take over and island?


build a golf course and an O-Club


enjoy



posted on Nov, 17 2003 @ 06:13 PM
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navy guy is rowing a boat wit a marine in the front, riding as usual,

the navy guy is repeating with each stroke, "it's not just a job, it's an advanture, it's not just a job, it's an advanture, "

The marine guy goes, "hmmm... I wonder if i snatch out half this squid's brains what would he do?"

So he reaches right in the navy guy's gullet and snatches half his brains out.

the navy guy keep's rowing, "it's not just a job, it's an advanture, it's not just a job, it's an advanture, "

The marine guy goes hmm, " i wonder what would happen if i snatched all his brains out?"

So he reaches inside the navy guy and rips out the rest of his brains.

the navy guy stops...

blinks twice...

"From the halls of montezuma...."



posted on Nov, 17 2003 @ 07:08 PM
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ARMY = Ain't Ready for the Marines Yet....



posted on Nov, 17 2003 @ 07:16 PM
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The US, its military forces thinly stretched across the globe, had cause to invade China under Bush's grand plan when it was uncovered by the Office Of Special Plans that China had sold weapons grade talcum powder to North Korea.

The Commander In Chief of the People's Republican Army was contacted about forces coming in to China from Mongolia to the north. He laughed.

Again, two days' later, there was a contact. US Forces were marching on northern villages and building in numbers, to over 100,000 troops.

A day later, a call came through again. The US had claimed Hsining, with 150,000 troops.

This time, the Commander In Chief replied.

He asked, "Good. Which one of the Hotels are they staying in?"



posted on Nov, 19 2003 @ 04:34 AM
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What goes cluck, cluck, boom?


A chicken in a mine field.




posted on Nov, 19 2003 @ 09:42 PM
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A bomb dropped on Italy and slid of!!

What are the first exercise new Iraqi recruits are taught?

Hands up.


arc

posted on Nov, 20 2003 @ 11:09 AM
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edit on 10-12-2013 by elevatedone because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 20 2003 @ 12:12 PM
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edit on 10-12-2013 by elevatedone because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 20 2003 @ 01:24 PM
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an Marine airforce officer and navy man are sitting on a water tower eating lunch The marine gets up and says damnit if i have tuna for luch one more time this week im gonna jump off this tower. the airforce men gets up and says if i have chicken for luch one mor time im gonna jump off this tower. the navy men gets up and says if i have pb and j for lunch one more time i will jump too.

so the nextday they are all sitting on the tower and the marine has tuna for lunch true to his word he jumps off the tower. The airforce officer has chicken so true to his word he jumps off the tower. the navymen has pb and j so he as well jumps off the tower.
then at the funeral the marines wife say if only i had known he did not like tuna the airforce officers wife says if only i had known he did not want chicke the navy mens wife sasy i dont understand he makes his own lunch !!! lol



posted on Nov, 20 2003 @ 04:15 PM
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Saddam Hussain is marching his troops through the Iraqi desert when from behind a ridge, he hears a voice shout out "1 SAS Trooper is worth a thousand Iraqi soldiers!". A bit taken back, Saddam sends a squad of fifty soldiers to sort out the SAS Trooper. After the sound of a brief fire fight it all goes quiet, until the voice chirps up again, "Oi Dickhead! 1 SAS Trooper is worth a thousand Iraqi solders!". With this Saddam gets really #ed off and sends a squad of a hundred soldiers to get the trooper and just to make sure he sends another hundred. Again after a brief fire fight, there is silence. Saddam is about to send his remaining troops when he sees a single Iraqi crawling back from the ridge. Saddam orders the man to be brought to him, "Don't worry son, I'm about to send everyone over the ridge to kill that upstart!" to which the Iraqi replies "NO! Don't, it's a trick...there's two of them."



posted on Nov, 20 2003 @ 10:32 PM
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Difference between Iraqi and American pilots....

American pilots break ground and fly into the wind....

(I think you see where this is going...)



posted on Nov, 22 2003 @ 10:03 PM
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Originally posted by Wolf
Saddam Hussain is marching his troops through the Iraqi desert when from behind a ridge, he hears a voice shout out "1 SAS Trooper is worth a thousand Iraqi soldiers!". A bit taken back, Saddam sends a squad of fifty soldiers to sort out the SAS Trooper. After the sound of a brief fire fight it all goes quiet, until the voice chirps up again, "Oi Dickhead! 1 SAS Trooper is worth a thousand Iraqi solders!". With this Saddam gets really #ed off and sends a squad of a hundred soldiers to get the trooper and just to make sure he sends another hundred. Again after a brief fire fight, there is silence. Saddam is about to send his remaining troops when he sees a single Iraqi crawling back from the ridge. Saddam orders the man to be brought to him, "Don't worry son, I'm about to send everyone over the ridge to kill that upstart!" to which the Iraqi replies "NO! Don't, it's a trick...there's two of them."




ive heard that joke before but instead of SAS tropper we used marines good joke though



posted on Nov, 23 2003 @ 09:16 PM
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Originally posted by drunk

What are the first exercise new Iraqi recruits are taught?

Hands up.


dont you mean that french soldiers are taught that first?

sorry couldnt help my self



posted on Nov, 23 2003 @ 09:17 PM
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Originally posted by drunk
A bomb dropped on Italy and slid of!!

What are the first exercise new Iraqi recruits are taught?

Hands up.



arent french soldiers taught that first thing?



posted on Dec, 1 2003 @ 06:34 AM
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Are they? i dunno reason why i used Iraqi becos thats what it said in the book!



posted on Dec, 10 2013 @ 06:10 PM
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Not sure if anyone else wrote this yet... I'm going to put it here anyways...

A private runs up to his Lieutenant he says while crying "Sir! My arm was blown off by that last mortar round!"
"That soldier over there got his head blown off and he's not crying" said the Lieutenant with a hint of grief in his voice.





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