What is happening to the children of today?

Originally posted by Mechanic 32
With many of todays youth growing up essentially with one parent, it becomes increasingly harder for that parent to monitor their childrens activities, physical and mental well being, etc., etc. Even to the point that the parent may only see this child basically on the weekends only.

During World War II, in 1944, the term Latchkey Children was coined. It was at this point in history when we noticed a serious trend where children were being left home alone for extended periods of time. The father was off to fight in the war, while the mother was forced to find employment.

This is a growing pandemic in our society, and it has already reached a desperate level. Both parents are almost forced to work to attain a certain standard of living. Odds are that after school, the child will be coming home to an empty house. Stats show that a child is four or five times as likely to be a target of a crime in the few hours that follow school. These kids are being targeted, because the criminals (sometimes children themselves) are aware of the state at home.

Are the Parents to blame?

How can we possibly blame Mommy or Daddy for working forty hours a week to provide a life for their child? I personally don't think we can rest all of the blame on the parents. I do believe the parents should be on the hook to find an alternative solution to guarantee the child is not home alone so often, but sometimes these alternatives are not possible.

With the erosion of the extended family, we don't always have options at our disposal.

So with the growth in Latchkey children, more children are at risk to be the victim of crime. On the other side of the coin, children now have more time to be on their own and experience new things. Things they never would of had the opportunity to if their parents were at home.

So who is to blame?

In a word, Society. I've said it before and I will say it again. We have been forced to live in a materialistic world. Too often children are ranked by their clothing, shoes, hat, jacket, etc., and if you don't fit in, your segregated from the population. Parents are forced to provide necessities for their children, that were not a necessity twenty or thirty years ago. Parents themselves have become victims in this battle.

Big corporations have spoon fed us these holidays and marketed them to perfection. We are inundated with materials, materials, materials. Children need this, or this, or that to be happy in life.

No wonder both parents are forced to work.

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So with the Holidays so closely approaching, take this as a reminder to what the holidays should actually mean. It's not about the materials we share, it is about the time that we spend together.


[edit on 24-12-2006 by chissler]

Originally posted by intrepid
It's all about the TIME. The time we spend with our kids, quality is the key as quantity has gone by the wayside with todays economy. My mother barely worked when we were growing up. Now parents have 2-4 jobs between the 2. You have to make the MOST of the time you have with your kids. It's amazing what you can accomplish in just a half an hour if you REALLY listen and talk to your kids. Now, if your a single parent, what do you do? That would be an extremely difficult job.

I'm a single parent and I worked 1-2 jobs plus overtime it was hard no doubt. However, I took the time to coach soccer, be a room mother and I have to tell you I honestly didn't believe it made a difference to her. Then while she was in high school I went to parent teacher conferences and one of her teachers gave me an essay she wrote; in it she spoke of how hard I had worked but always made sure I cooked dinner and coached her team and made it to all of her track meets. How I made sure she had clothes even tho I went without and well you get the picture. It made me cry; of course some of the kids there told her that I had cried so until I explained that to her she was really mad at that teacher. Now; mind you I had the help of Seagull; he would drive her to the track meets that were sometimes up to 100 miles away and a couple that were much further about 300 away and then I would get off work and drive to the meet and watch as much as I could. So I guess this is my long winded way of saying there is a way to spend time with your kid but parents have to sacrifice and just do it.

Soficrow your kid is normal sounds to me. All kids will push the boundries and we just have to be there to help them back up and we have to love them enough to let them face the consequences of their actions. For what is worth I think your daughter is lucky to have you based on your posts.

The question should not be What is happening to the children of today but rather What society, political correctness, protection agencies and religion is doing to the children of today.

Learning starts at home, but it seems that mommy and papa are to busy at work, on drugs or no showing at all to take care of the children needs.

Strangers are raising our children because grandma and grandpa are also to busy working to pay for their medication in their old age and keep up with the high cost of living to take care of the littler children also.

Is no about the TVs, or the video games . . . is about pushing responsibilities to our children while left alone to fend for themselves, that brings a kind of stress that used to resolve in a high incident of teen suicidal cases . . .

Now they rather take with them as many of the irritating factors that affect their young lives with them as possible and exit into death with a big media break.

Now they rather take with them as many of the irritating factors that affect their young lives with them as possible and exit into death with a big media break.

Marg: Thank you for putting that thought into such a great sentence.

Chissler: I agree with you. Parents have been made to believe that all these consumer goods are necessary for their children. Companies try to make a dollar, so they advertise; nothing harmful about that inherently. It's the consumers IMO, that create the status quo of what's necessary for us and our children. Unfortunately, the great majority of consumers are uneducated about their consuming, making status quos rather uneducated themselves.

Makes you wonder...how did children grow up before Dupont and Johnson & Johnson? They must not have.

Originally posted by gallopinghordes

Soficrow your kid is normal sounds to me. All kids will push the boundries and we just have to be there to help them back up and we have to love them enough to let them face the consequences of their actions.

I agree. But thanks for saying so.

For what is worth I think your daughter is lucky to have you based on your posts.

Thanks so much. Needed that.


...I agree with marg, chissler and others - we need to look at the society we have created - and what it teaches our children.

Personal responsibility is one thing - but what can individuals do against a mega-billion dollar machine that undermines their values at every turn?

As an educator, I would have to say that what is happening to children today is an exact reflection of what is happening to society today. You cannot disengage the effects of a decadent society from elaborating its symptoms in the children who go to school. I gave up having a fulfilling time in a nice suburban school 5 years ago to a school which is in the middle of a housing estate which is plagued by unemployment and deprivation. The children have a significantly different ethos from the middle class pupils. Educators sometimes need to throw aside the syllabus and realise that we are teaching children not passive robots favoured by educational theorists. A lot of children have to face the breakdown of a marriage, poverty which denies them access to consumerism, general unhappiness from the lack of religion in their households giving them the feeling that they are alone in the Universe without any help,

All the while, society bombards them with images of success where those who have the gold have the keys to unlock the door to pure MATERIALISM. For example, in my prayer group at school every pupil raised their hands when I asked them if they would like a large mansion with a Ferrari or Lamborghini parked outside. I did this before demolishing the argument that the Materialist religion with its codes and symbols was the correct one.

Society is decadent and materialist so our children have accepted that ethos and carry it into school. Our theoretical scholars have attempted to place a syllabus of study which is Platonic and based around Plato's Utopian idea.

What we need to do as parents is to suggest a new education system which is Vocational so that students can be given training in schools for their chosen vocations and enter into Science, Math and English classes to improve their literacy, numeracy and education of how Science can influence society.

To blame the parents would be a gross misinterpretation of societal trends which no educated person could ignore.

As an educator, I completely agree with what you are saying. However the current Platonic Utopian idea of children receiving a broad-ranging education has failed completely in schools that are in predominantly working class or ghetto areas. We need a complete overhaul of the education system which forces schools into a Vocational Curriculum with core subjects (English, Maths, Science) as a necessary means of achieving a basic education NOT compulsory but highly desirable.

Great thoughts Hero, I enjoyed reading your perspective. Oh, and thanks for teaching the kids.

I spent 5-6 years in 2 Universities, in my state, growing up. I ended up graduating from a local Vocational College. When I started the program, there were no non-trade courses available, nor required. As the program progressed and the months went on—whomever the body is that makes these decisions?— decided that the school would not recieve accreditation, if the degree it presented, did not require some broader courses. So, we saw the addition of several courses and credits to the program. The courses ranged from technical writing to some infantile social type courses. All the additional courses were about 8th grade level.

I was a little angry and frustrated that I had to spend 'unaccounted for' time and resources to accomadate the new curriculum, but I'm a pretty liquid fellow, and just did what had to be done. An unfortunate occurence occured, with the addition of the new courses; a handfull of students in the program, failed the program, because they failed some or all of the new courses.

Take it for what it's worth.

I have to agree, Advisor. It took all of four weeks for the army to sort me out. Hell, in eight, I'm a much-improved person.

Kids will experiment, kids will push boundaries, but the trick is they have to know that there are consequences for violating those boundaries. Up here, we frequently have incidences of young criminals getting four years worth of serious crimes done, with only probation as a consequence. Aggie assault, armed robbery, possession of prohib weapon, that sort of thing. Hell, 40% of murders and violent crimes are committed by persons on probation or parole.

Whaaa, did your parents give you the paddle, or just the schools? I mean, mine did and I always kept to the rules. Or, rather, I had an appreciation of the consequences of breaking said rules, and covered up my delinquency better than most.

I also think part of the problem with the limits/boundaries thing is that children nowadays don't see a limit to their malice. There was always a limit, well at least with me and my crew. Look at things nowadays, where 12 year old kids are commiting criminal harassment, driving each other to suicide, or to more...external violence. By twelve, I had figured out that you may be obliged to wage war against another student, but you are not obliged to use the proverbial posion arrows. i did not stalk other students. I did not constantly call them and harass their friends and parents.

Boundaries, and their enforcement, is the issue. And that is both the parent's and the school's issue.

DE

Thank you for your affirming comments. I was sorry to hear about your experiences in University but what can be done to motivate students who have been labelled as failures since the age of 11 or 12? I hope someone knows the answer otherwise schools cannot improve.

Originally posted by Heronumber0
but what can be done to motivate students who have been labelled as failures since the age of 11 or 12? I hope someone knows the answer otherwise schools cannot improve.

The psyche of these children have been effected, and it may be to the point where the public education system does not have the time and resources to properly assist. Which is exactly what I have been directing my attention at. We are labeling children on a daily basis. In elementary, we have certain children pegged for success and we have the others who are going to follow in the footsteps we have laid out for them. We've entered them in a circle of their own misery, and rarely can they pull themselves from it.

A child gets bad grades. Don't scold the child, offer extra help. For all we know the child may have two alcoholic parents and three younger siblings. He may be getting up early to make breakfast for his brothers and sisters. Who are we to determine anything for any child? The education system is geared towards a steady stream of success and failure. This is a reality that we all must accept. Not everyone is going to succeed. But if a child is going to fail, they should fail on their own recognizance. Teachers, unknowingly, are pointing children down a path of failure.

I've extensively discussed the theory of Reinforcement over Punishment on this thread here.

[edit on 29-12-2006 by chissler]

Originally posted by DeusEx
Whaaa, did your parents give you the paddle, or just the schools? I mean, mine did and I always kept to the rules.

Paddle? At home it was a little more drastic than a paddleing. My dad used to beat me senseless with his fists and never miss an oppurtunity to tell me what a worthless piece of * I was.

Do you think this has anything to do with my distain of any and all authority figures?

It's a very good thing that thru the grace of God I developed a code of honor and morality on my own; otherwise I very well could have become a sociopath and been a very dangerous individual.

Even though I was a hell raiser in school, I was blessed with a keen sense of curiosity and was encouraged by some wonderful teachers. However I could have gone the other way to an early violent death or prision.

Children Today..............
It is a very complex problem, that has no easy answer or solution.

Actually I'm very surprised that more kids don't get their daddys gun and shoot up their school. All things considered; I feel most kids are pretty well mannered and are surprisingly well adjusted being as how they are forced to live in a schizophrenic society with STUPID role models.



[edit on 29-12-2006 by whaaa]

whaaa, I maybe stepping over the line here, and if I am I do apologize.

But I wish to ask you this question. The abuse that you suffered at the hands of your father, Do you believe it was to instill a sense of morals and restraint in yourself? Or was it to fulfill his own urges to display dominance?

I had the luxury of growing up in a home where physical abuse may of been threatened the odd time, but never acted on. I've always viewed abuse as a tool of the ignorance. They are naive enough to believe they are doing good by their children, when in actuality, they are only filling their own needs.

Beating a child to a bloody pulp does nothing for the child. Anyone who is willing to inflict harm on a defenseless child deserves to be in jail.

I guess sometimes it's easier to give the child a backhand than sit down and actually talk to them. Forget getting to the root of the problem, just let them know what they have in store for them the next time.

It disappoints me every time I hear of something like this.

Originally posted by chissler
whaaa, I maybe stepping over the line here, and if I am I do apologize.

But I wish to ask you this question. The abuse that you suffered at the hands of your father, Do you believe it was to instill a sense of morals and restraint in yourself? Or was it to fulfill his own urges to display dominance?

Actually, thanks for asking Chissler. It's both cathrtic and healing to discuss the events of my life. Lord knows I have paid therapists plenty for what I find on the www for nothing.

Alcoholism is one of the most distructive forces in American society that exists. In retrospect I see my dad as a good man with a horrible disease that so distorted his thinking, he lived as a monster. He was an angry, frustrated and felt impotent to improve his lot. These feelings Combined with alcohol manifested as violence. Not an uncommon situation.

The physical abuse was much easier to deal with than the emotionl torture he inflicted on me.
I still deal with "bitterness" issues, but as I get older and more philosophical, I find that I can "just let it go" and adopt an existential frame of mind and actually be a reasonably happy and well adjusted individual. As my sig says, "Art Saves Lives"

Peace
whaaa

I'll tell you what's happening! Today's children are being treated like, well, children. For example, high school kids don't really work anymore. None of these kids have responsibilities other than going to school and doing their homework. And if you don't do your homework, you get an F. Well, who gives a crap, what kid actually gets upset when he gets a bad grade. I heard somewhere that we have to oldest kids in this country, and its true. If you go to a 3rd world country, you'll find 10 yr old kids with an AK47 and a death stare. They're not gonna be droppin turds in paper bags and lighting them outside people's doors... So my solution for the problem with the youth of today is give them AK's and tell them to fight for freedom.

Improper conditioning is at the root of today's youth problems. A romanticized view of childhood, unsupported by fact but established by folk tradition, is to blame.

What is not understood is that children are basically small animals that respond best to Pavlovian-style conditioning. With proper application of positive and negative stimuli they can be moulded into fully functional human beings, or 'adults' as some people call them.

Examples of suitable positive stimuli may include small rewards such as food treats (morsels of brown sugar and small scraps of gristly meat may be used) or release from the leash (though this is not recommended for more than fifteen or, at most, twenty minutes a day). Care must be taken not to escalate the reward system in line with the child's demands.

Negative stimuli may include food and sleep deprivation, the withdrawal of bedclothes in wintertime and non-lethal electric shocks. Physical mutilation is recommended only in the most obstreperous cases; in such cases, humane killing should always be considered as an alternative, since an amputation or defacement may result in a less-than-ideally-productive citizen.

As soon as I seen Pavlov in the post, I began to shake my head. Not that I don't agree with what the man had to say, but the extremities are always so unnecessary. The guy was an obsessive compulsive genius that tested on dogs. Your manipulation of his work here has taken the work of a brilliant man and turned it into something a psychotic maniac would be locked up for.

Originally posted by Astyanax
Negative stimuli may include food and sleep deprivation, the withdrawal of bedclothes in wintertime and non-lethal electric shocks. Physical mutilation is recommended only in the most obstreperous cases; in such cases, humane killing should always be considered as an alternative, since an amputation or defacement may result in a less-than-ideally-productive citizen.

For one, this post should be removed, two you should be forced to reread this on a regular basis to actually understand what you have condoned.

We are talking of a CHILD.

Food and sleep deprivation. Your talking about starving children in order to attain an ideal target behaviour. Stripping them naked during the winter months while they sleep? Borderline criminal behaviour now, your walking a pretty thin line. Physical mutilation? Not lethal electric shocks? That post disgusts me, that a human being would actually condone such actions against a child.

Rather than beating a child for being bad, why don't we applaud him for being good?

I can't even continue to express my thoughts or opinions on this matter right now. You have disgusted me.

Originally posted by Astyanax
Improper conditioning is at the root of today's youth problems. A romanticized view of childhood, unsupported by fact but established by folk tradition, is to blame.

What is not understood is that children are basically small animals that respond best to Pavlovian-style conditioning. With proper application of positive and negative stimuli they can be moulded into fully functional human beings, or 'adults' as some people call them.

Examples of suitable positive stimuli may include small rewards such as food treats (morsels of brown sugar and small scraps of gristly meat may be used) or release from the leash (though this is not recommended for more than fifteen or, at most, twenty minutes a day). Care must be taken not to escalate the reward system in line with the child's demands.

Negative stimuli may include food and sleep deprivation, the withdrawal of bedclothes in wintertime and non-lethal electric shocks. Physical mutilation is recommended only in the most obstreperous cases; in such cases, humane killing should always be considered as an alternative, since an amputation or defacement may result in a less-than-ideally-productive citizen.

I really hope you're being sarcastic here. If you're serious then I think you need to seek help immediatly.

the majority of blame for the issues our children have can, and should, be placed squarely on the shoulders of the parents, the teachers, the school system and any other authority figures these kids come in contact with.

As a parent of a 4 year old girl and a 1 and a half year old boy, I can already see how easy it is to screw them up. My daughter wants to be like the kids she watches on tv and she watches stuff she shouldn't be watching (she has been getting lessons from me on how these people are acting and how tv isn't real). Kids think they can do anything. I remember when I was 18. It never ocurred to me that I could die. I would do some of the dumbest things and, fortunately, I am here to teach my kids what not to do. We must teach our kids about sharing, kindness, good manners, etc. The schools don't teach these things.

The schools, in turn, must put a bit more focus on the psyche of the child. The teachers have two jobs to do. One is to teach the lessons they are trained to teach. The other is to help mold our childrens' minds into adults. I remember when I was in middle school and high school. I was "friends" with many of my teachers. We were able to talk to them about things beyond the lesson plan. It seemed to me that the uncaring teacher was a rarity in my school.

One problem might be today's frightened society. I had a substitute teacher that everyone was buddy buddy with. He was australian and he looked a hell of a lot like Mel Gibson. We used to make him say lines from Mad Max and Road Warrior. He was into the same music as us, he lived on the grounds of a school where I worked after school. (he got me the job there). He came with us to lunch when we left the grounds. He even came with us to a few concerts. Today he'd be accused of improper behavior. That fear might keep some teachers from getting too involved with their kids.

I ramble, therefore I am.

Here it is !