posted on Dec, 22 2006 @ 09:58 AM
The Bears will get to the Super Bowl, and will dominate the game, winning 76 to 0. It doesn't matter who they're up against, they will skunk 'em 76
to zip. 6 of those points will come from safeties, one of which where the line of scrimmage was on the 50 yard line. It will be embarrassing to watch
as the other team gets a delay of game penalty at the start of the 4th quarter because they couldn't stop crying.
"But Jake, that's ridiculous! This isn't 1985!" you say. No, it's not, but what you don't understand is the events that are going to take place
in 2 weeks.
The inhabitants of Rupert, a planet named after an imaginary parrot, want the Bears to win. In two weeks, they're going to transport them into a fold
in space-time. In here, radiation will be pumped into all the players giving them energy never to be tired, nor to age. Then, for what they perceive
to be 43 years, they will train 24/7. They will be the most incredible team ever to grace the gridiron, and all who see them play will sit in stunned
silence at the beauty and skill that football could entail. Football will never be the same, because all games after that one will seem as pathetic as
the Packers Vikings last night.
And lying in our beds, many years from now, y'all will turn on the all-bears network and remember the day, so many years ago, when you read on a
discussion board exactly what happened and scoffed, and, for those of you outside of Chicago, remember a time when your team actually bothered to show
up on the field.